Selfish Girl

1

Ever wondered what it's like to be in love, and I don't mean in love; I mean IN  LOVE! Well I do you obsess over your lover and be the happiest you have ever been in life. You smile and laugh together for a few months and then it breaks. Your life is done. Gone. Broken. Ruined. All because of one stupid girl who makes a big argument between the both of you because of her you overthink and worry and start to self harm. You cry for hours every night thinking that you've messed up that he hates you, that he is seeing some other girl. Kissing some other girl. After it gets too much you finally break up with him which hurts you more and he didnt even give to fucking shits. Oh no he didn't he fucking waited 2 days and asked out your best friend. And guess what? Your best friend fucking said yes, of course they did of course because they were never your friend. They were a backstabber and all they wanted to ruin your relationship and steal your boyfriend. and you agreeded to be friends with your now ex and now all you do is argue with eachother because YOU STILL LIKE HIM and he starts calling you and bitch, slag. And an attention seeker behind your back just because you were caring enough to actually love him. And he says that you never cared because you keep breaking up with him and then getting back together you keep doing it over and over but it's not your fucking mistake. It's your anxiety, depression, eating disorder, ptsd talking, controlling your every move and you can't stop it. All he said was just stop overthinking it's not that hard or maybe if you tried to stop it would okay. But no BECAUSE YOU CANT FUCKING CONTROL IT, YOU TRY YOUR HARDEST BUT IT DOESNT FREAKING WORK. you self harm most nights and people just say, you're silly. You're a loner. You're just looking for attention. You're an emo. But they dont look for the fake smiles, the silent tears in class or even the hitting yourself for no reason. No they don't care, they are just selfless little twats who don't leave you the fuck alone.
So you have lost your boyfriend
You have lost your best friend
What else more could possibly happen.
Oh yeah, you're other friends join along with your ex bestfriend, create a gang. And hurt and beat you up everyday. Physically and emotionally. They tell you that you are worthless and that no wonder my boyfriend left me. No wonder my friends left me. NO FUCKING WONDER THAT MY OWN DAD HATES ME.
And you're too fucking scared to fight back because you're just a little pussy. You just stand there forming tears in your eyes and they punch, hit, poke, kick. You just stand there as they call you all these names. Bitch, slag, fat, ugly,  whore, hoe, cunt, bastard, mistake. And you keep on telling people and they don't fucking believe you they just say oh well and leave them to it. You stay up till 7oclock in the morning every day because you are too fucking busy crying , overthinking, wishing you were dead. Even your own brother wished you dead. Even your own dad called you ugly and fat. Your mum called you miserable and depressed and said you're just overreacting. But no YOURE JUST HURTING INSIDE. WISHING YOU WERE DEAD, HOPING YOU DONT WAKE UP IN THE MORNING. You're teachers tell you, you're a failure, you are failing every subject but you told them what's happening and they don't give two fucking shits. Nobody does. Nobody. So fuck God, fuck me, fuck life. Fuck everything. Because was the point of even bothering to care.
Exactly there is none.
So fuck anyone who's ever hurt me.
And just you wait, I will have my revenge.

(Another story tomorow)