I look into the mirror and sigh. It looks like I've been attacked by a cat from all the scratch marks. I put on a T-shift instead of a tank top to hide the red marks before getting out of bed. I don't know how I should feel about last night. It was hot as fuck, but part of me just wants to love someone. I want it to be more than sex. All I can think about is Olivia, and how she freaked out and left me. I hope that she's still thinking about me. I hope that I am something to her...
Suddenly, I hear a notification. Not expecting it to be anything important, I grab my phone. It's Olivia. What the fuck.
Olivia Rodrigo
can we talk
Me
i dont know
can we??
Olivia Rodrigo
i'll pick u up after work
Me
cool i need a ride anyways
I lock my phone and lay down on my bed. What does she want from me? Does she want to tell me that last time was a mistake? Does she want to start over? Does she want to punch me? Okay, she's at least five inches shorter than me, so I shouldn't have to worry too much about that.
After my shift, I sit down on one of the benches outside of the restaurant, kicking my shoes against the concrete. They used to be white once, but they have turned into more of a yellow or brown shade of white. I look at my phone every now and then, waiting for Olivia to arrive. Is she even coming? What if she hates me so much that she decided to trick me here to laugh at me? I'm about to give up when I finally spot a car. I can see that Olivia is the one who is driving all the way from here. She pulls over next to me, waiting for me to get into the car. I open the door and sit down in the veichle. It smells really good, as opposed to Diana's car.
"How are you?" Olivia asks me as I close the door.
"I'm fine, what about you?" I ask, not looking at her.
"Can you please be honest with me?" She pleads.
"I feel like you are the one who should be honest with me. You just ran off," I say, looking out through the window. "Look, I don't even know you, so I don't know why it hurt so bad when you left, but it did."
"I'm sorry," she says.
"Don't apologize. I don't want you to feel like you have to be with me or something. Like I said, we don't even know each other so it doesn't matter,'' I mumble, playing with my fingers.
''What if it matters to me?'' She asks and I shrug. I don't want to show her how I feel.
''Look at me,'' she suddenly says.
''What?''
''I said...'' she starts, putting her warm hand on my cheek before putting a small amount of pressure to make me face her. ''Look at me. Look into my eyes.''
''Why?'' I ask, finally meeting her gaze.
''I want you to look into my eyes and tell me that it doesn't matter.''
I look into her brown orbs, trying to figure her out. Does she want this? Does she want... me? She is so fucking beautiful, I don't know how to act. I feel so... nervous. It's uncomfortable to look into her eyes, but at the same time it's exciting. I want to know everything about her, I want to know what she looks like with no clothes on, I want to know what it feels like to have her body pressed against mine.
''I can't do that,'' I breathe out, staring at her lips.
''I know you can't. You act all tough and shit, but I can already tell that you're different around me.''
''Fuck you,'' I whisper, making her grin.
We just stare at each other for a while. There's nothing I want more than to kiss her pink lips and hold her in my arms, but it's like I'm frozen. I can't lean into her, I'm just trapped her in my car seat. It seems to be the same for her. Instead of doing what I crave, I decide to go for the second best thing. Slowly, I let my hand travel from my lap to her arm, sliding it down to her hand. I can feel that she's looking at my face, so I keep looking at our hands to avoid eye contact. She turns her hand around, slowly intertwining our fingers.
''This feels good,'' I mumble, stroking her knuckles with my thumb.
''Yeah, it does.''
