I wonder how my best friend is doing without me. He must be happier without me. Without my laughter, cursing, me. I wish I didn't care about him as much as I do. It's the terrible part of being human. I keep telling myself to move on from L'manburg and Tubbo but it's nearly impossible when your thoughts keep making it difficult. Tubbo, my enemy? I wish he could have just listened to me. Part of me wants to move on and just pretend he doesn't exist and is just a memory. The other half of me wants to go to him and yell and tell him how much this place hurts me and how much I wanna go home. How isolation is very painful. I doubt he would listen, he did send me here. I wanna tell him about how I can barely sleep anymore without thinking about the past. Thinking about our friendship and the moment it ended and we got separated. So now, I just stay up at godly horrible hours just to do something besides thinking. Thinking is just too painful sometimes. More like torture. I don't think Tubbo could even try to comprehend that. He is too stuck up in himself. With his own life. His own beautiful life. Tubbo. I'm beginning to think again. I should just begin to do something now. Something distracting in isolation. I start to fidget with the compass and think about the direction it's facing. I start to walk towards the north and its points across the ocean and straight across to L'manburg.
"Of course." He must be living up his life with his family and friends, while I'm stuck here. He must be happy compared to me, who is broken. Sounds melodramatic of me but true. So I stay in this state of isolation.
