I don't want to be friends

Chapter 18: The Winter Wonderland Pt.2

"Since when are Leo and I the type to lie to each other?"

The airhorn sounded as a flock of birds flew away from the scene. Then silence. Absolute silence. A chill sweep through the air, causing me to shiver slightly. My eyes looked around suspiciously. There was no one in eyesight from Leo and I, so we should be safe for the time being. We just needed to find that damn flag and get this thing over with.

Leo and I looked over towards each other, our eyes meeting.

"He's in love with you, y/n." Peters voice rung in my head. What felt like a shock of electricity seemed to tear through my chest in panic as I looked away quickly.

Leo blinked down at me, raising his eyebrows in a 'what' type of way.

"Let's go." The grip on my paintball gun tightened slightly in nerves as I began walking in the potential direction of the flag.

Leo followed after silently, occasionally glancing my way as we walked through the woods.

My head felt like it was going to tear in half with thoughts. On one side of my brain contained my parents relationship or perhaps lack of. And on the other side was the complicated history of Leo and I.
Ugh. Nothing made sense.

I can't think about this anymore. I promised myself I wouldn't. I needed to focus on my parents. First off, I don't understand how my mom could cheat on my dad (if that was what was happening). My parents love each other. Yeah it's been a little hard since my dad moved to New York for his job three years ago but they promised us that it wouldn't change anything. He still visited for holidays, on birthdays even. So I didn't understand...
My head throbbed suddenly, causing my steps to falter. I paused, hand on my head.

A hand grasped my shoulder lightly in concern, "You alright?"

I nodded slowly, my gaze elsewhere. "I'm fine." I shrugged his hand off.

"We don't have to go looking for this flag, you know. We can just wait it out." Leo suggested.

I didn't move to say anything.

What I needed was a distraction. A big one. Something I can focus my time and energy on until I can finally get my hands on my mothers phone and confirm myself. Perhaps I had misread the situation. Maybe those texts were entirely out of context and I'm freaking myself out over nothing. But...was snooping through her phone the best option? Couldn't I just save myself the time and energy and ask her out front? No...How would someone even go about that? I didn't know. The thought made me feel queasy just considering it. And what if I did find something on her phone? Then what? What did I do then? Do I confront her? Tell Alice? Tell Leo? Tell my dad? No. No. Stop. Stop thinking about it. Focus. I'm in the middle of a game. Focus.

"Y/n?" Leos hand tucking a strand of hair behind my ear brought me back, his eyes now worried.

"I want to win..." I mumbled, the thought leaving my lips as soon as I thought it.

Leo stared at me, entirely confused.

"I need to win this." I looked up towards Leo, my eyes determined.

I don't know why. I just felt it in my gut. I needed to do this. Otherwise I think I'll go into a full blown panic attack.

"Where's this sudden enthusiasm coming from? You hate these type of games." Leo noted, seeming a little suspicious.

I tilted my head.

Let's say I sabotaged my team and made us lose like I originally planned. According to the Winter Wonderland rules, I would still have to stay in the vicinity of where the games were taken place. That's another reason why Leo and I hated the winter wonderland so much. It's basically like daycare for teens. Parents drop off their kids, do whatever it is adults do in cold climates and then pick them back up when the competition is over.