Broken

chapter three

Chapter 3 Sunday

Sundays are my least favorite day of the week because everyone looks at me. Sundays are the day we celebrate god and I appreciate god. I really do. I just feel so sheepish. I just wish I could go play with the kids. After church everybody brings a blanket and a picnic and they camp out while everyone who wants to play a huge game of baseball. I longed to go and play with them. But my mother will not let me. Especially after my sister Hannah told her about what happened after school. She said women should not be allowed to even think about that kind of thing. My brothers play, they are very good. When I was little Matthew would put me on his shoulders and run the bases with me. For he knew that I longed to go run. One day I will be healed. One day I will run with the cheetahs. And swim like the sharks. One day I thought, Only one day. Boom. Isaac hit a homer. It went out of the field. A taller fellow ran to catch the ball but it was long past the field and soon gave up. Isaac ran as fast as he could. Mathew was on the other team, but he was shining with pride from his brother. After the game, we prayed and then we had a picnic. We all talked and played some more games. All the kids my age played. Andrew was there and he was very athletic much like my brothers too. But, My feelings from the other day were gone. Andrew would never like someone that was broken. Would he? I noticed that there was a new family at the church ceremony today. I could not get to meet them because we were worshiping the lord. We sang lots of songs. Then the reverend made a speech teaching us about how we are all in the process. I did not listen that much. But he said something that caught my attention, reverend Aron preached,

"Not everyone is perfect. For that is why God sent his son Jesus down. Currently people are traveling and giving speeches telling others about our father. For I believe that everyone is just potential, I'm potential. Your just potential. I am in the process, everyone is. On the other side god knows what is about to happen to each and everyone of us. Just let god defend you. Just let him move you along. And you will no longer be potential. You will be what god has planned you to be." preached reverend Aron

I thought long and hard about this. I thought god had a plan for my family for so long. I still believe he does. Because that's the way I was born. But everyday it is harder to believe this. My life is not what I pictured it was.

"KAYLA?????!!!" a rude awakening from my sister Hannah.

"Kayla are you okay? Are you tired? Can I help you.?" "Issac can you carry her to the picnic blanket." Hannah started yelling out commands because she was nervous. Sometimes when I get tired from doing something like walking or even sitting on my leg, I have a moment. I just all of a sudden collapse. I Know when this is usually about to happen. But it was not, because I was just imagining what my future could be like if I was able to run and play with all the kids. I have lived for a long time. And yet I feel like I'm a toddler learning how to run and walk and realizing that it is much harder than it really is. Life is not easy, in fact it is the opposite it is very i mean VERY hard.

" No, I'm fine." I said while picking my shooter leg up and setting it down to walk out of the tent.

"Are you sure?" Hannah said nervously. Issac picked me up. I gave him a pity look hoping he would know how embarrassing it would be if he took me out of the building while holding me. My reputation would be ruined. Who cares I don't have friends anyway. He did not get my look. So he carried me. And I was humiliated.

"Isaac, I'm really okay. Please put me down." I cried

"Okay. But you should be careful, go sit on the blanket." Isaac said.

As I was going to the blanket the new girl's family caught my eye. I wanted to go over and talk to them. My family and I love meeting new people. Then my older sister Elizabeth came over. Elizabeth is currently courting. That means she liked someone and the other person liked her back. So Elizabeth has been hanging out with this boy and his name is Josh. Josh is nice. I met him one time and I noticed that he was looking at my leg. And the bruise on my head from falling. I did not talk to him. Only Elizabeth talked. My brothers don't like it when any of my sisters bring home and boyfriend, because they are nervous that they will take her away and we will never see her again. I think they do this because it is a fathers job, Since my father is dead they have to be very protective. As we were sitting on the blanket these men started coming towards my mother. The tension in my mother and I was rising.

"Good afternoon ma'am" exclaimed a man with a red hat.

"We are here to discuss something very important with you Mrs. Sarah carter. It is about your daughter." right as he said that my whole body filled with the chills. I know it was me because these men were here when I was playing baseball with all the kids on Friday. My brothers were nowhere to be seen and Elizabeth went to go find Josh. Hannah was making dinner, so it was my mother and I. No one here to protect me. I'm going to fend for myself.

"What do you want to say to me about my daughter?" my mother asked defensively.

"Please Mrs. Sarah let's go somewhere by ourselves." replied another man with no hat.

As my mother stood up I felt so weak I could do nothing. I sat there like an ice cream on a cone. There was nothing I could do. My mother came back to me and sat down on the blanket as we watched the rest of the ball game. She never said another word about the men. And I was too afraid to ask anyways. When the game was over mother and I walked to the river. I love to swim. It is the one sport or thing I can do almost normally. I can't kick my legs that well but everything else is easier. I jumped in the river and I splashed and kicked as best I could. I just love swimming. It makes me feel so free. That night I overheard my mother talking to one of her friends. They were talking about something called education. I think they were talking about going to the river and learning about god and Jesus, but they also wanted us to be able to read. They wanted us to be able to learn what words are. When my mothers friends went home I was so curious that I sat around my mother until she got curious herself and asked me what was going on.

"Kayla" It is so late" My mother scolded

"Mother, I want to know what you were talking about. I overheard it and I'm sorry for that but I'm curious because I want to know what is going on." I cried

"Kayla, there is no need for sobbing. I understand why you would want to listen in on our conversation. But, you also know how disrespectful that is, snooping around and listening to other people can get you in huge trouble." scolded my mother

"Kayla if you are really that distraught about what we were talking about I will tell you. We want you to learn. I was talking to some of the mothers that have children, and we want you guys to be able to read. We want you to be smarter than us." I was shocked by this.

"Mother, I could never be smarter than you." I could not believe that my mother, the kind person and one of the smartest people I know, just said that. What is she thinking? I could never be smarter than her. Could I?

"I don't want to learn to read. How would I be able to do that. I would have to go somewhere wouldn't I." For I knew my mother could not teach me. She herself did not know how to read herself. I looked up at my mother, and I saw my sister. I saw me. Her blond hair, her blue eyes. They twinkled in the darkness. I saw the pity look she gave me. She knew.

" Kayla, I know how you feel about people looking at you. But if you go to school you will make friends.'' My mother tried her best to convince me. I already had my decision though. I'M staying here. With my mother and my family.

"No mom! I will not leave you!" I tried my best to get up and run away. But she grabbed my arm.

"Kayla, my mind is already made up. You will go to school." My mother has made up her mind too. I will show her I thought. She will be wrong. If the kids make fun of me she will have to take me out of school.

"When do i have to start?" I sighed.

"We will start building it tomorrow. And you are going to help. You'll see it will be lots of fun." My mother smiled at me. I Started to walk out of the room, but I heard somebody bang on the door.

"Hello? Is anybody home? Please open it up to the IDF." Shouted the men outside the door.