Looks Like Me | dreamnotfound

Chapter 3

I had just climbed out of the window with my backpack that would probably be my wardrobe for the next short while, depending on how long I'm away from home. I'm most afraid of getting too scared of being outside all the time and having to go back home.

I was wandering down the streets deciding where to go first, and I decided to go to a nearby park, kids didn't go there often, no one did. Sometimes after parties, I would just go and chill there so I could sober up before going back to my house. After about a 10 minute walk, the park was in sight and I already had an idea of what I could do to get my mind off things.

I thought back to when I was younger, around 11 or 12. I was so happy, my mom was there to guide me into adolescence — my teenage years —, prepared to be with me every step of the way. I was excited to do anything, everything. Though I sometimes snapped at her and got mad over small things. I didn't realise how precious this time with her really was.

Because I was so young, I didn't ever really imagine a life without her, I didn't quite understand the concept of death. She was just, well, my mom. In my head, she was always going to be there, and by the time I realised that she wouldn't, it was too late, she was gone.

She left. She went missing. I was only 13 and left with no support system.

At first, I denied the fact that she was even gone, going out late at night when I was supposed to be asleep just so I could look for her. I really believed she was out there.

For some reason, my father wasn't grieving like I was. Instead, he started bringing women home.

— Flashback —

I was laying in bed trying to convince myself to talk to my friends and go somewhere with them but I couldn't find the motivation after what happened to my mom. Out of nowhere, I heard the front door creak open, so I did what any other 13-year-old kid would do, I got out of bed to go downstairs.

As I was walking, the floorboards creaked ever so slightly on the stairs. Even though I knew it was my dad that had arrived home — I saw his car — the house felt, I don't know, eerie? I heard some commotion in the kitchen after hearing the front door slam closed. I began slowly walking toward my father as to not alert him of my presence.

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My dad and I were never close, he had always been going out to take my half-sister to theme parks and take her on rides, she was a few years younger than me, and I had only been on a roller coaster once. I was 9 and my dad took me to 'Sea World'. He brought me and my half-sister called Hanna, she was the same age as me.

When she was dropped off by her mother, Veronica, I didn't expect her to look like she did. She looked, popular. She was tall and looked extremely similar to me. My dad told me we would be going to the same high school, so I tried to talk to her and get to know her but she didn't seem interested.

I got on a ride that my dad had briefly explained to me, he made it seem short and fun, not too fast. But after we got in the small boat and got to the top, I was terrified. I screamed and screamed because he has largely undermined the scariness of the ride, let's just say, I haven't been on rollercoasters since.

{this is a ride at 'sea world' in Australia called Vikings Revenge Flume Ride, it closed in 2016 but my dad made me go on it in like 2012, I almost shit myself}

It was obvious my dad preferred Hanna over me, I mean, why wouldn't he? She was everything I wasn't. She had none of my imperfections, in fact, she had none at all. She was perfect.

--

When I reached the entrance of the kitchen, I peeped my head around the corner and saw something I never thought I would see. My dad, the man who was happily married to my mom just a few weeks ago, was kissing another woman.

I was in disbelief, and I couldn't fully process what was happening before a tear was making tracks down my face and I was sprinting upstairs. How could he do this to her, to me? I slammed my door, and fell onto my bed.

That night I learnt that men can't cry.

— End of Flashback —

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i was going to end the chapter here but it seemed like a good time to end it ill have a new chapter out hopefully tomorrow

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