Pain Behind Words (SOCMED Series #1)

038

We found ourselves sitting on the bench near the beach where you could hear the sound of the waves, the breeze slapping your face, the salty smell of the sea, the sound of the birds.

A refreshing noise that I wish I could hear every day.

I take a deep breath and smile. I glance at Yuri and flinched when he was staring right at me.

"Kanina ka pa nakatingin?" Tumahimik lang siya. Bigla tuloy akong naconscious sa sarili ko dahil di padin niya ako tinatantanan ng tingin.

"M-May dumi ba sa mukha ko?" tanong ko ulit nang mapansin na nakatingin padin siya sakin.

Palapit nang palapit ang kamay niya sa mukha ko, napapikit nalang ako nang ilang metro nalang ang layo nito pero napamulat ako nang marinig ang tawa niya.

"Cute," he said as he show me his phone, he capture a picture of me with my eyes close, para akong nag aantay ng halik!

"Idelete mo yan!" Pilit kong inaagaw sakanya ang cellphone niya para madelete yung picture ko pero tumayo siya at biglang tumakbo.

Pilit ko siyang hinabol. "HOY!"

Tawa siya nang tawa habang talon ako nang talon, I gave up nang marealize na wala talaga akong pag asa sa height niya.

"Unfair." I pouted. I saw him freeze for a moment but he pinched my cheeks.

"Cute."

Kanina niya pa ako sinasabihan ng cute, di ko na bilang kung pang ilang beses nato. Natahimik nalang ako at bumalik sa pag upo.

He kept on teasing me all day, favorite niya ata ang inisin ako. Nagagalit ako dahil palagi nalang ako ang pinagtritripan niya at dahil sa pantritrip niya mas lalo akong nahuhulog.

"Could you stop?" I said—almost a whisper but I know that he heard it.

"Stop what?" he asked as he sat beside me.

"Stop teasing me."

"But it's fun—"

"—But it's not for me," he remained quiet after what I said. "Mas lalong akong nafafall sayo." I whispered to myself.

"What?" Umiling lang ako.

"Do you like someone? Because if you do, could you stop being like this?"

"Being what?" This time, ako naman ang natahimik.

Ano bang ititigil niya? Yung mga titig, na para bang ako lang ang nag iisang babae sa kanyang mundo? Yung mga messages na di ko alam kung sa concern ba siya o pantritrip lang? Sa mga ginagawa niya, na minsan di ko alam kung ginagawa lang niya yun para sakin o dahil naawa siya? Sa mga banat, na aakalain kong totoo?

"Yes, I liked someone." Natigilan at napayuko nalang ako.

At hindi ako yun.

"A-ah ganon ba buti naman. Good for you..." We remained quiet for how many minutes.

Nagpasya akong tumayo at umalis na doon. Di ko na kayang magtagal. I'm holding the tears that are in the verge of coming out.

But then I stopped when he suddenly hold the wrist of my hand.

"Hindi pa ako tapos." Di ko siya nalingon. Nanatili akong nakayuko, pinipigilan ang paglabas ng luha ko.

"Won't you ask, who's the person that I liked?" Nanatili pa din akong tahimik at napakuyom nalang sa kamao ko.

I want him to let go of me. But I'm afraid that if I speak up these tears would betray me, mag uunahan sila sa pagtulo.

"Zoe?" I remained quiet.

I panicked when I heard him standing up and getting closer to me. "N-no, don't come closer. Please," pagmamakaawa ko.

"Zoe, don't make this hard for me. Please, look at me in the eyes." Nanatili pa din akong nakatalikod sa kanya. I don't want to face him, to look at him in the eyes. I don't want to be trapped in his gaze, once again.

He sighed in defeat. I felt something warm on my shoulder, I looked at it and it was his flannel. "At least wear that, it's cold out here."

"Do I know that person?"

"Huh?"

"The person that you liked, do I know her?"

"Yes, you know her very well."

Silence overwhelmed both of us. Does that mean na may gusto siya sa kabarkada naming? I felt a slight pang on my chest. I kept on thinking if this is the right thing I should do. Should I confess? Should I not? I'm too afraid. Scared that our friendship would break. Too frightened that those happy days would end.

These feelings are weighing on my heart but I don't have a choice but to accept the burden. I don't want to be too rash with my decisions, I'm not ready for this.

"I hope you can confess to her soon." This time I turned to him and flashed a smile. I returned the flannel on his hands. "You should give this to the person you liked, not me."

I turned away and started walking, di man lang niya ako hinabol. Dito na nagsimulang magtuluan ang luha ko. I really thought that this day would be the biggest plot twist in my life but no one told me it would be a tragic one.