Heartbeat Lullaby

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Recap: BigHit plans to make an announcement that Jungkook and Lauren are dating. Meanwhile, Su is determined to find out who is behind all the photo leaks. She tells Jungkook it is better if she leaves BigHit as  an idol can never date staff. Jungkook, who is upset about it, asks her to come to RevG's party as a last goodbye. At the party, in the ladies washroom, Su happens to capture something alarming on her phone

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Jungkook

When I saw her right behind me, I almost died. My heart stopped. She had no right to look so gorgeous. How could any human manage to look so enticing?! Her hair was perfect, her dress was perfect...her face....it had a beauty I had never seen before on anyone. The sight was so fulfilling yet so painful. When she leaves tomorrow, which picture of hers will be imprinted in my mind forever? This goddess like image? Or that of the first time I had seen her.....scared and alone, in the darkness of our canteen.

It hurt. So I just gave her my coldest shoulder and  told her to leave me alone. And I sipped on my alcohol. I didnt want to see more #Laukook material pop up on my phone, I didn't want to be with hyungs coz they will feel bad seeing me like this...

I just hoped the alcohol would soon wash over my senses... coz it was too painful.

Suddenly, the seat beside lost the vacancy. It was Jin Hyung. 

"Hyung please, I better be alone." my speech was slurred and drawled.

"I'll get straight to the point, Jungkook-ah. Did you two have a fight or something?" Jin hyung asked. I wanted to smile. A fight would have been so much better, if it only was.

"Please hyung, I can't talk about it now-" 

Jin hyung chuckled darkly. "Okay, when do you want to talk about it? Tomorrow? When you'll officially be Lauren's boyfriend?"

"She wants to leave, Hyung....I think she is overwhelmed by this lifestyle. Tours, concerts, parties....I can't force her to be a part of this crazy life of mine." I said, my heart breaking for myself.

I blinked hard to keep the moisture at bay.

Hyung sighed. "Listen dude, I know one thing. If she wanted to leave, she wouldn't have left crying, like she did just now."

Suddenly, a tide of emotions rose up my throat. "Maybe...." My voice cracked. "Maybe we don't deserve love. Like normal, real, solid love.... Maybe its' not for us. Maybe that's the price we have to pay for being us. For being the 'worldwide phenomenon BTS' " I choked and my lips trembled. Yes I was cry baby.

"Kook stop please." even Jin hyungs voice shook.

"No hyung. It makes sense...I used to always wonder, its too perfect. We are living our dreams, we are providing for our families, we making our country proud, we receive so much love from ARMY.... it's perfect. I used to wonder what's the catch? What's the price for this perfection?....Today- today I know."

"Dammit Kook, you're gonna make my handsome face cry." Jin hung said through gritted teeth.

I chuckled through the pain. "Well I told you to leave me alone."

I suddenly felt Jimin hyung's familiar back hug.

"Jungkook-ah, you're so wrong" he said and I looked at Jimin hyung's twinkling eyes and smiled. He had the power to smile through anything. "There is no price to be paid, Kook."

I blinked at him, trying to concentrate.

"You decide the price, You decide if you want pay it or not..."

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