Bride of War (18+)

46

Monika

Slade stands in front of Fallon's door with a frown.

"Fallon! I'm sorry. Please talk to me. Fallon?"

He clenched his jaw. "Put the barrier down let me see that you're alright, will you?"

It's obvious he can break her barrier. He chooses not to, instead pressing his forehead against the door.

"I'm sorry, little one. I know it hurts. I'm sorry."

I pull him away gently. "Let's go to the market."

Slade stared at me. "To the market? At a time like this?"

I nod. "There's something there I must procure. Come with me."

He sighs but obliges as usual. He holds me tight, sending us to the town in an instant. He pauses staring up at a new statue.

"Is that?"

I frown.

There's an inscription on the bottom of the statue. Rose of Florence. Bride of War.

Slade frowns. "Bride of war. She looks like you, Monika. That is you...isn't it?"

She carries a sword in her hand. I nod. "It is me. Let's hurry now, to the market," I grab his hand pulling away.

"Ah, this is fantastic. If humans start worshiping you, you'll get even more powerful! Look at my little wife! This is amazing,"

His smile fades. "Monika...you were right. I'm not fit to be a father."

"I never said that," I say softly, taking his hand. He stared at the ground, his frown etched into his face, his red eyes burning into the ground.

"I failed her. All of them. Time and time again."

• • •

I stand in front of Fallon's door. I don't knock. I try turning the knob. It opens. The windows are covered, and she's under the covers.

"Fallon?"

She doesn't respond. I sigh, sitting on the bed. I say nothing. There's Nothing to say that she hasn't heard.

I just hold space. After an hour she shifts, turning around under the blankets, and setting her head on my lap. I put my hand on her head, still covered up, shaking.

Poor baby. I close my eyes, sighing softly. Her fingers dig softly into my leg as she holds on as if I'll disappear.

I feel her tears. I hold back my own.

"It's so hard..." she rasps. "And I feel so cold."

I nod, patting her. "Is it a little warmer, when I'm in the room? Even a little?"

She nuzzles her face into my leg, curling up closer to me. "Yes."

"Then I'll stay until it's warm again," I whisper.

"I don't wanna feel better," she whispers.

I nod. "I know."

• • •

Slade's training. He doesn't need any, his movements are fluid and lethal, his steps silent, only the ringing of his sword piercing the air at record speeds is heard.

I lean against the wall waiting for him to notice me.

"How is she?" He asks.

I shrug. "Heartbroken. Grieving."

He frowns deeper, pushing himself a bit harder.

"Every time I saw you...you kept...begging me to be happy. Begging. Sobbing in pain, pleading with me to just be happy for once in your life," he whispered, his eyes foreword.

I look up at him.

"I...if I wasn't...why I am. No, it's been so long since I contemplated my existence. That's a human thing to do. I'm here for one reason and I know that reason. But when I was younger..."

He stops, leaning on his sword, his eyes unseeing. "I think...I wanted to be something else. Which is absurd of course. I...can't remember what it was."

He looks at me. "You reminded me, I think. Of who I used to be. Wanting so badly to be loved for what I was. Of course, I grew out of that."

He set his sword on his shoulder. "I am a god of war and no one will love me for what I am. Because what I am, is a calamity. But they did. For a moment. Before they knew me."

He swallows. "You did."

"I do," I assure him.

He smiles, more for sake than anything. "Those children looked up to me. They thought...I was someone they could trust. That I...was someone great, and it felt better than when I had thousands of temples. To look in their eyes and see that thought the world of me."

He sighs. "They're right, you know? I should've let them go. I could've let them go. Taken them in, for as long as I could and let them grow and change and age and...and die. It's natural. It's how it's meant to be."

I nod. "When you love someone, sometimes you can be a bit selfish, Slade. It's only human—"

"I am not human," he says firmly. "I am supposed to know better, to be...better."

Well...what can I say to that? You're only human? Or even gods make mistakes. Do they? Well...

"I'm sure—"

"And what about you," his red eyes burn into me. "How many years until you resent me? For this curse that I've given you? For forcing your life to be extended beyond what is natural?"

"How long will it take before you're unsatisfied with just me? When you need human companionship, as humans do, and then...those friends die. And you don't. How long? Fifty years? A hundred? Perhaps, next week?"

I swallow. "You told me what I was getting into, Slade. I know what I signed up for, I love you!"

Slade smiles. "And I love you. But love is not enough. Clearly. There are certain things that humans need. Companionship. Love. Friends. And they need...to die. It's what makes them human, what makes their life worth living."

He swallows. "I can't die. But in the void...I was at such peace, Monika. Living is very hard. It requires so much. And death...death is such peace. Have I stolen your peace?" He looks at me, begging me for an answer.

I don't have one. So I hug him. I don't know.

I don't know.