Bride of War (18+)

87

Monika is quiet.

"I'm not omnipotent," I say, as we walk out of the castle gates.

Her face is blank. I clench my jaw and glance away.

"Monika!"

She stops. Looks back at me. "What, Slade?" She says softly.

A wind passes us by, her eyes loft from the ground, falling upon me for what feels like the first time in forever.

I'm not sure what to say. "I didn't know-"

Monika looks up to the sky. "You don't have to apologize to me, Slade. You didn't know. We hadn't even met."

I swallow, and she starts moving again. So do I.

"He's just never seen her," I murmur. "He'll realize it soon, my love."

She forces a smile. "Never mind me. Are okay? I know you...changed form, but you're not hurt are you?"

I pull her back. She swallows. "Slade-"

I pull her into my arms, tucking her into my chest, resting my chin on her head.

"I know it hurts, my little wife. Let it out."

Her hand balls against my chest. I close my eyes, and hold her tight, feeling her shake.

"I...I'm fine," she whispers. "You're the one who needs comfort."

I smile. "I'm alright, Monika."

My heart pangs a bit. My sob has been kept from me, hidden away, subjected to horrors I suspect from his eyes.

And my eldest...he has left me. And didn't I love him enough? Did he not get enough love? I know I...struggled to show him the affection he deserved.

But...she abandoned him.

"It's...no one's fault," Monika says against my chest. "Children can't help but love their parents. Especially...the one that's never there."

She pulls away, and I let her. She touches her belly.

I put my hand over hers, smiling softly. "This will all be over soon," I swear, "We will go home, you, and the children."

Monika looks away. Perhaps she's lost faith in me. I have always been the strongest god. And yet these are things I cannot control.

Other people's emotions. Nathaniel's need for his mother. The fact that my progenitors exist. The past.

I get on my knees, cupping her face. It's creased in sadness, but she smiles anyway, touching my hair. Tears well up in her eyes.

My poor Monika. She doesn't deserve this.

I press my lips against her belly. "Everything will be alright," I promise. "It may take time, but we have all the time in the world together, Monika."

Her small soft hand stroked my face, as she nods softly.

We stay there for a moment, her hand in my face, and my hands cupping hers. She finally smiles, a tug, a real smile, however small.

"Are you okay, Slade?" She asks softly.

I want to say I am. I think I am. I know everything will work out. It has to. Still...

"Yes. I am fine. But...will you do something for me?"

She presses her forehead against mine. "Anything, my dear."

I smile. Yes. Everything will be alright. I have her.

"I want to shed this form for a while, will you ride on my shoulder?"

She raised her brows. "Of course, I can."

I kiss her cheek, standing. I shed my mortal form, watching her face as I do. We've been together for over a hundred years. Still, I always expect to see the fear on her face when I go back to my original form.

Of my three forms, it's where I'm most comfortable. I would say...it feels the most natural.

My wings stretch from my back, folding in, skin turning black. She just watches me, waiting. No fear, no disgust.

I am just me to her, and it stuns me every time.

I hold my hand out, and she climbs inside it. I lift her gently, setting her on my shoulder. She leans against my head, stroking my hair.

I control my size. Even in this form. Still, naturally, without me deliberately changing my size, I stand at 20 feet in my god form.

Monika cups her belly, snuggling against my shoulder. I smile.

"Do you feel better?" She asks.

I nod. She pats my cheek. I'm sure she doesn't understand. But nothing can comfort me more, nothing makes everything better than when I can be myself with her.

No matter how scary I look. No matter what I look like, what form I take, she will stand beside me.

And that makes everything okay.