i don't like any of them
act like I do
laugh
as I would find it funny
what they joke
smile
as I would enjoy
any of their company
counting minutes
till I'm home
being alone
to breath
as it's physical acing
tiering to be
playing this
role of being a me
that I'm not
a phantom
in the palm
of my hand
longing
for something
heavy and important
but you
our conversations
endless
like a river of words
never forced
like an
exchange of energy
powerful
overwhelming
but never
tiering
it's charging
giving me oxygen
feeds me
as I would have eaten
for the first time in life
teach me
as I would have been
in unknown
for all my time
helping me
as I would have waited
for this forever
stand up everyday
positively
electrifying
lightnings
in my stomach
warmth over me
chemistry
heaviness
in the palm of my hand
where once was nothing
now there is
this loaded gun
tension in my fingers
as I try to move
but try to stay like this
to stop time
but rush it over
slow motion
pressure
but freedom
as you look at me
safety
but then
you shoot me
and everything
stood still
I didn't
even scream
not a glimpse
of emotion
till you got out
and shut the door
broke down in silence
and didn't want to talk
ever again
disappointed
knowing
being proved
once again
that I don't deserve
anything
like you
only this dull
nothing
I act to love
and there again
the gold cold Metall
falling off my hand
you waiting
for me to forgive
not giving me patience
and me
not giving you
me
not a word
showing you
how it hurt me
by hiding
that it hurt me
and you
going on
why did I think
you would wait for me
to collect the pieces
you tore out of me?
as I tried to search
for something like you
like us
searching water in sand
again the
emptiness
in my everywhere
realizing
what I had
should have run
to fight for you
blaming me
for never thanking you
but now
months later
as you have something new
i still miss
but now know
what I have to search for
not a gun
like yours
feeling naive
for have believed
to not get burned
when playing
with fire
but looking for
a hand
to hold mine
not lightning
but cotton
embracing me
searching for
anyone to love
and trying to teach myself
that I deserve
more than a gun
and more than nothing
YOU ARE READING
Little Poetry Notebook
PoezjaJust some poems i wrote for friends or just for myself. Nothing special, they're mostly not even about me, its just some stuff that was running through my mind and i thought it might would be cool to share with someone. hope its entertaining :))
