Playing With Fire

18 - Declaration

The next morning after Remington's declaration, I needed to talk to Jamie. I needed to know where we stood. After Jamie's semi-declaration a few months ago, he hasn't said anything like that again. I don't know if it was just a moment of weakness, but this needs to be clear. I decided to text him to meet so we could talk.

Hey handsome, can we meet today to talk?

Hi there beautiful! Of course, is everything okay?

Yeah, just need to talk. Nothing bad.

Okay, where do you want to meet?

My house at 7?

Sound good, I will see you then.

See you then.

I took a deep breath knowing that things could change today. I needed answers, I needed to know what to do going forward. Everything needs to be out in the open again. This time I decided to text Remy to let him know. I promised him that I would always be honest with him, and I don't want to break that promise.

Hey Remy. I need to tell you something. Do you want to talk? Or do you want to text?

Sweetheart, is everything okay? What's wrong?

I'm just keeping my promise to you.

Okay, what do you need to tell me?

I'm meeting him to find out how he feels about me. I think that he cares for me more than he is letting on. He didn't tell me that he loved me, but it was close. I need to know if he really does.

Do you love him?

I do but it's not the same as I love you.

But it's enough for you to keep being with him if he loves you.

Yes.

Thank you for keeping your promise to me.

I'm sorry if I hurt you.

It does hurt knowing that you also love him but I'm not giving up on you. I will fight for you, always.

I do love you.

I love you too. Just let me know what happens okay?

Okay. I will talk to you later.

Talk to you later.

Now, it's almost 7 and I'm waiting patiently for Jamie to come over. I just hope that I can get the answers that I need. I know that he doesn't share his emotions very easily. I was pacing around my living room when I heard a knock at the front door. I open the door to see Jamie in front of me looking worried.

"Hey handsome, come in and don't look so worried."

"Is everything okay?"

"Yes."

"What's going on?"

"Do you love me?" I asked Jamie.

He looks at me for a long moment. Then he walks towards me and kisses me hard and deep. I feel his tongue exploring before I break the kiss.

"Answer the question Jamie, please." I whispered and pleaded with him.

Still feeling his closeness, I begged him for an answer.

"Jamie, do you love me or is this just physical? I need to know, please."

"I don't want to love you, but I do. I don't want to love you because I don't want to get hurt. But I love you and it scares me more than anything" Jamie says in a shaky voice.

A tear starts running down my face as I hear this confession. I know how hard it was for him to say this and I don't want to hurt him either.

"Why are you crying beautiful? Do you love me?"

"Jamie, I do love you and that's the problem. I know that you don't want to hear this, but I also love him. I'm in love with two wonderful men and I don't know what to do."

"Come here" Jamie pulls me into a hug, and I finally let everything go for at least one moment.

Jamie's thoughts:

I didn't know what to expect when Remi wanted me to come over. I thought she was breaking this relationship off. I never expected that she wanted to hear how I felt. It frightens me how much I care for her and that I could experience any kind of love with her. I knew that I had to finally tell her and brace for what would come next. I would have never thought that she loved me too but to see the sadness in her eyes told me what I already knew. She loved the other guy too. A part of me wanted to break it off when she told me about him the first time, but I just couldn't leave her. Now, I see the heartbreak on her face as she will have to decide between us eventually. The questions is; do I make the choice for her and leave or do I fight for her until she is solely mine?