Snapshots - Oberoi Family Edition

8. Cracked Porcelain - II

Shivaay sat on his knees for an hour until the smell of sickly sweet oranges reached his nostrils. He got up, immediately taking the support of the dresser as his legs were numb. The pain from the stiffness kept him chained to reality. He traced the smell to the pool of spilt juice on  floor in which broken pieces of glass floated. He mechanically picked up the glass pieces and disposed them before getting a cleaning cloth and wiping the juice away. Normally we would get a staff member to do the cleaning up... but he couldn't muster the will to face another human. 

After cleaning up the juice and gathering some courage, he moved towards the bathroom door and knocked on it.

Shivaay: Anika..?

Getting no response worried him. Anika had been in there for an hour. Was she okay? Did something happen? Should he break open the door?

Shivaay: Anika jawaab do warna main...
(Anika answer me otherwise...)

'Great going Shivaay. This is why she got sick of staying with you. Go ahead, give her another reason.' His mind told him. Shivaay rubbed his forehead to control his temper. 

Shivaay: *softly* Just...just tell me if...if you're okay.

He heard the sound of water running and stopping then footsteps approaching the door. But the door didn't open. Instead, he got hear...

Anika: Main theek hoon.
(I am fine.)

This was enough to bring life back into him. For now at least.

Leaning against the tiles, Anika had fallen asleep in bathroom as the cold tiles soothed her backache. She walk up when Shivaay called out to her. Carefully getting up, she washed her face but was in no mood to see him. Not yet. So she just replied that she was fine and sat back down, leaning her back on the door. She heard some shuffling outside the door and then a soft thud, indicating that Shivaay was sitting on the floor outside the bathroom, probably with his back to the door. Anika wondered why on earth was this man sitting on the floor. That was her department. 

Shivaay: *from the other side* Main ghar aane se pehle Dr Awasthi se milne gaya tha. She had called me to collect some medicines for you. Unhone bataya tum kal gayi thi aur aaj bhi jaana tha. Woh keh rahi thi tumhari latest reports ke hisaab se tumhara blood pressure high hain aur kaafi deficiencies bhi hain. Tumne mujhe bataya pehle nahi is liye main tumse is baare mein baat karna chaah raha.
(Before coming home, I went to meet Dr Awasthi. She had called me to collect some medicines for you. She told me that you went there yesterday and were supposed go today as well. She said that according to your latest reports your blood pressure is high and you have a lot of deficiencies as well. You didn't tell me so I was wanting to talk to you about it.)

Anika furrowed her eyebrows. What was he talking about? Deficiencies... reports... Dr Awasthi...... Phail gaya raita! She now remembered. Since she was throwing up so much, Pinky made her get an appointment with Dr Awasthi. She went there to her office with Pinky yesterday but she (Anika) was so sleepy that whatever the doctor said sounded like she was speaking in a vacuum space. That is why she couldn't tell Shivaay about it. As for her phone, she tossed it aside yesterday and didn't bother looking for it. Anika pursed her lips in realization. Okay, the way Shivaay freaked out made sense now. 

Shivaay: Doctor ne mujhe kaha ki it could lead to you miscarrying and I... *breathes sharply* Main tumhe force nahi karna chah raha but... main darr gaya tha. Bahot zyaada.
(The doctor said that it could lead to you miscarrying and I... I didn't want to force you but... I was scared. Very scared.)

Shivaay wasn't the kind to open up easily but today words seem to just spill out of his mouth. He couldn't hold himself back. 

Shivaay: Main zinda tha likin jee nahi raha tha. Tum meri zindagi mein aayi, uske baad se main jeene laga. Mujh mein emotions jagane ki taaqat sirf tumme thi. Sirf tumahre hone se mujhe fark padta. Humesha se humare beech kuch magical tha. Main na use khone chah raha tha aur na accept karna chah raha tha. Is sab mein kab main ek... ek monster ban gaya, maine realise hi nahi kiya. Humne bahot achhe moments share kiye hain, likin jo batameezi, jo naainsaafi maine tumhare saath ki, main uske ke liye khud ko aaj tak maaf nahi kar paya hoon Anika.
(I was alive but I wasn't living. You came into my life and I started living. Only you had the power to bring out the emotions from within me. Only your presence or absence made a difference to me. We had something magical between us. Neither I wanted to lose it nor I could accept it. In the midst of it, when did I become a... a monster, I didn't even realize. We shared some great moments Anika but the pain I caused you, the injustice I put you through, I haven't been able to forgive myself for it till date.)