The Omega Rogue

Chapter 1

I watch as the stream of blood slowly travels down my arm. My mouth grows into the smile as the pain of the words said today slowly disintegrate as the new cuts takes it place. It was actually one of the good days that I didn't get beaten like I usually would. I look around the small white bathroom in my tiny shack of a home. It is a few feet from the pack house, enough to give them space, but for me not to be away from the abuse. I am hidden on the side where there are no windows or doors. I'm like their unwanted outcast puppy from the street. They only ever come around for morning laps, while I am still asleep, since I can't keep up. Even when they do come running around they carry eggs and tomatoes to throw at the little home I have for me to clean up later. 

The words that triggered me today were loner, nobody, and killer. The first two were true, but the last one was complete bullshit. I was one of the victims in that attack, but I guess that they needed someone to blame and I was the one that they chose. After that night, I was brought into the world of bullying. I lost all of my friends and at first I thought it was a cruel joke, but overtime I became less of an idiot and understood the truth of the situation. I hate that I was the victim in this, but I would rather it be me than anyone else. No one should deserve or receive the abuse that I get everyday, either emotionally or physically. 

My tears travel further down my cheeks as the blood continues. My wolf also smiles at the fact that the pain is disappearing. One of the lovely things we both have in common is that we are both incredibly insecure, so she doesn't have a problem of doing this to myself. We both are trying to encourage each other, but the abuse we both suffer, me more often than her, is too much and we go 5 steps back instead of one step forward. I notice that my eyes became black in spots and I was dizzy, indicating that it was time to clean up. I placed the bloody blade on the white tiles as I grabbed the gauzes from under the sink. I got a long piece then cut it with the spare scissors that I also use sometimes. I clean the cut first then I wrap the cut up so that the blood wouldn't seep through. 

I sometimes debated on whether to cut deeper and let myself die. I know that no one would care if I was gone. If anything it would be a privilege to the pack that someone like me, a useless nobody, would be gone from the pack. We are supposed to be the strongest pack in the world and I am just the little omega that can't keep a strong fight. I was lucky to be able to get away on that horrible night. The couple of times I wanted to cut deeper I had my wolf to keep me in check and I was lucky because I didn't get a horrible beating today. I just have to live my life with my chin up, or at least up enough to not try to commit suicide. 

I rinse off the bloody blade and lay it out to dry. My shaky legs rise and walk towards the shower. I take a quick cold shower, not being able to stand the hot water, before heading back into my room. It was a small simple room. It had a queen bed with a star like pattern that matched the paint on the wall. I had a small TV, which I was grateful for when I wanted to just relax and forget about the day. There was a tiny walk in closet with a dresser right next to it. I honestly loved the simplicity of the room and I didn't need that much. The pack gives me a certain amount of money, less than the others, for the month for necessities and extras, but I can only afford the necessities. I don't eat that much, so I am able to save a lot of the money in case of emergencies, but none ever came. All I do with the money is buy food and a couple of clothes if they are wearing and tearing apart from their once clearance racked stand. I never pay the full price for things, but use clearance as an easy way of gaining money. Over time I was able to  buy a necessities for the kitchen that I have next to my room. My small home only has a bedroom, bathroom and kitchen, which is all I need. Since no one cares enough to visit, I only need what I need.

I was fortunate enough to save enough money after 6 years to buy myself a decent used car. I would always park in between the house and my home, since there is such minimal space. I always put a tarp over in case anyone decided to egg it, but none had. I guess they were nice enough to let me obtain and maintain a decent car. I actually asked them the other day and they told me they didn't want to ruin the car that I saved up for, right before they beat me for talking to them.