To Love and Die (18+)

Chapter Fourteen

"I'm sorry", she voiced to the noiseless room.

It felt like she had said it to herself at first. The eyes that watched her were saddened, dark with a mixture of tiredness and what could possibly be mistaken with anger. But she knew her uncle. He was never angry at the young woman, no matter how infuriating she could be. And she was often the most irksome person in any room.

"I'm sorry that I can't seem to listen when you tell me to leave things be. I should have. I know it. But your debt is forgiven and as you said, you are rid of the cartel right?"

Benny finished pouring the steaming coffee into his mug before topping hers off again. The now full cup of Colombian roast warmed her hands, the feeling radiating through her body in a shiver.

She needed it.

After being dropped off at her uncle's house—per her request—she couldn't help the coldness that gripped her heart. There was a void that pillowed in her chest and when she came to the realization that Julian was truly the devil reincarnated, she hated all that she did for him—and with him.

She hated that she had gone along with Julian's plan. In a way, the two were tied together whether she wanted them to be or not. They committed the ultimate crime together. Bonnie and Clyde, but without the die-hard love and such.

It was sickening to think about and her stomach hadn't felt right since she left the plane.

Benny's home was already bustling with movement. Seven in the morning in any Green residence meant coffee, the news, and breakfast.

She didn't oppose either of those things. Instead, she welcomed them like she was still twelve living with her aunt and uncle. Still reeling from her last two days, a strange sense of unfamiliarity loomed above her. It felt like she was transported to be a part of the reputable A&E show, First 48. In her case, she was the prime suspect working to conceal her secret from the world.

She was a killer.

I am a killer.

The words could have been written in permanent marker on her forehead, or tattooed there at this point. Her whole life was a lie and the young woman was certain that at any point the pieces would be put together by everyone around her. Her cover would be blown and no one would care that all she did was for a sense of peace in her life. Her eyes probably incriminated her more than anything. They were bloodshot due to lack of sleep and the clothes she wore, now two days old, stunk of law-breaking activity.

"You are your father's daughter", Benny said nonchalantly. "I should have known you shared the same temperament. My debt is forgiven? I don't even want to know what you did to make that happen."

"Trust me, you definitely don't", she muttered before taking another sip of coffee.

Benny nodded, "Whatever you did, I hope you were safe."

She thought about it. Safe. That had to be a loaded term. She hadn't truly felt safe in a very long time. And doing anything with Julian likely meant the opposite.

He was danger reincarnated. Dangerous, because of how she became small in his presence. Dangerous, because how he made her forget all of her boundaries when with him. Dangerous, because he quite literally could kill her at any moment without so much of a second thought and that excited her. He was dangerous because he worked for JC.

Was this considered daddy issues? Maybe she could attribute all of her problems to her father's past or the fact that her uncle was a sicario with secret ties to the cartel. That would be the easy thing to do, right?

"I think I'm done pursuing JC." The thought had been on her mind since the plane with Julian. If she wanted to kill the biggest cartel leader on this side of the Prime Meridian, she would have to consistently put her family in harm's way. She could not do that. Keian deserved a normal childhood— even though she didn't and even if that meant she had to let go of her vendetta against her parents' murderer.