Her REAL story

Her

She was only a 9 year old, 4th grade no worries free as can be, but she was told she wasn't good enough, they called her fat and told her she shouldn't be alive and she should end it all, even her teacher. So she tried and she wrote a note had it planned out, but her mom seen. She got help for a few months then back to hell, now 5th grade, she is still "fat" and "ugly" and "not good enough". She was hurting but how could she tell anyone? She had friends but, if she told them would they agree? She felt alone, she was feeling sick, not like the cold or anything but she was mentally sick, sick of the bullies, sick of the pain, sick of trying in a endless fight. So she tried to end it all, again 3 more times, she was so young, and felt so alone... and soon she realized the way her cousins touched her as kids was inappropriate and all her memories came flashing back. She could only think about that, she could only think of dying, of giving up. She searched "how to kill myself" and she found a number and called it, she talked and cried to the person on the other side, they helped her. Soon she started to hurt herself. Leaving scars, permanent marks on her body, just like the ones her cousins put on her mentally. Now 6th grade, she is 11 with 7 attempts of suicide. Her father left her and she then realized that the way he treated her was abuse and no other father dose that to there children. She has memories of her father beating her as if she had done something horrible, when all she did was speak. She then felt the sick feeling she did started to smoke and use other substances to try and take away the pain, but in the end caused her more, she tried to  die, again. She failed and was caught. She was grounded for a while but snuck around secret phones, and her substances. She hurt herself again, this time worse and more constant. She wanted her sickness to be gone, she wanted to be free from her pain, she wanted to be dead. So again she wrote a note and got a rope. She did it, hanging there feeling her life slip away, but then she remembered her siblings, her mom, her cousins, her few really good friends, herself. She grabbed the rope and somehow undid it. She felt her throat, it was red and cut in a few places. She was disgusted with herself and couldn't sleep for day's. Then her family came over, a woman she trusted and loved used her again for her body, it was her last straw. She tried to die again, she swallowed 12 pills, it didn't kill her, but she was sick for a while. She then over the summer had a "friend" touch her, and grab her, and use her again. She walked away crying, she couldn't look in the mirror. She couldn't feel her body. Her body shaking now fear now. She wanted to die. Now, 7th grade, she had tried to kill herself multiple times, she is embarrassed of herself. She was once again bullied, but she wasn't fat, useless or dumb. She was told she lied about her story, she wasn't raped. She was told she is a hoe, she was told to slit her wrists open and let them bleed out and make a puddle around her dead body. She trusted the wrong people. She fell inlove, with a asshole. He only wanted her because he would benefit from it. She was hot, she had tits and an ass. He treated her like shit. So she left him, so she can feel happy, but he didn't like that so, she is a hoe, a whore, slut, ugly, not even worth it, a mistake, a failure, a wannabe, a failed subside attempt. She had lost herself completely. He had broke her, and others helped. She was hurt. So she tried to kill herself. She failed, again, and again. She felt like such a loser, she couldn't even kill herself right.... But she was strong, and tried. Then her friend asked her out she said "no" she wasn't mentally ready, but he was mad, he wanted revenge. He told everyone that she touched him. Everyone believed him, she was harassed. Nobody believed the truth. She tried to kill herself, her bestfriend grabbed her and brought her to reality. The same day she tried again, two times... She survived, she became happier, she was done having to fight so she was no longer a victim, she became a survivor and said, "Fuck you all". She was free finally from it all, and her name? Her name is Renee, Renee Raynor. That's me, this was my story and right now I'm in 7th grade still and I'm doing much better and if you do need help, message me on
snap : reneerake 
Instagram : _stop.it.dude_
Suicide hotline: 800-273-8255

Have one amazing day please reach out and if someone you know is going through something help them please, it really can safe a life.