WRATH: A Hannigram Fanfiction

7- L'étoile

     In the middle of a quiet night, Lucifer floated above the clouds, staring up at the sky. A million thoughts were racing through his head as he thought about his stilted conversation with his partner, how quickly things were falling apart. He'd watched God interacting with the humans, working by Himself and not even turning to look at Lucifer. He and God had been conjoined for billions of years, and now he was being thrown away for something so weak. So temporary.
     His wings were spread, stretching up past his head, and he let his eyes close as a sudden peace came over him. He was relaxed, comfortable where he was, a drastic change from the anxiety that had just been overwhelming him.
     "You look like a star up there." A light voice, like ripples in a pond.
     He opened his eyes and turned his head to find the source of the sound. There, standing on the clouds with a soft smile, was Tranquility. Lucifer could feel the serenity emanating from him, contagious. So that's where the feeling had come from.
     Lucifer flew down to meet him, wrapping his arms around his Angel with such force that they both lifted into the air. If one thing could bring him comfort in trying times, it was this. He smiled, burying his face in Tranquility's shoulder. Their bodies radiated golden light as they came together.
     "Now we are both stars," Lucifer remarked, smile widening. His voice was a shock even to him; he never felt the need to use it. He'd been using it much more often ever since this started. He wasn't sure what this was, how exactly to define it, but he knew that it was his greatest joy.
     "You are my star." Tranquility brushed their lips together. "My Star."
     This was the love that Lucifer craved so badly, the love that God had never given him. He felt wanted, needed, understood. Tranquility was everything to him, and the fact that no one else could ever know that pained him. He had no idea what his fate would be if anyone found out. Worse, he worried about what would happen to Tranquility.
     He just wanted to matter to someone. He didn't want to be left behind again.
     "I do not know if I can be here much longer," Lucifer whispered so quietly that he couldn't even hear himself. "I sense a rift. I sense...God does not love me anymore. He wants me to leave."
     "I will not let that happen, Star." He placed a hand on Lucifer's chest, near his soul, and a wave of mind-numbing calm rushed over Lucifer. This was what he loved so much: this peace, the comfort that his Angel could bring him. "Heaven cannot be without either of you. God would never banish you. He loves you."
     "I cannot be sure of that."
     "You doubt His Love?" He frowned. "You doubt that His Soul is connected to yours?"
     Lucifer wasn't sure what to say to that. Tranquility kissed his neck.
     "I love you," he said. "I hope there is no doubt in your Soul about that."
     "Absolutely not, love." Tranquility's approval was so warm, so soothing. "Absolutely not."
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     "I don't want to go to this vigil. Do you?"
     Will ambled around the second floor of Hannibal's office, absently running his hand along the bookshelves. Hannibal followed along with him from the ground.
     "You don't think it'll give us some vital information?" Hannibal asked.
     "It just feels weird." He pulled one of the medical books from its shelf and thumbed through it. Hannibal didn't mind Will going through his stuff like he did with Jack. It was more charming now. "It feels disrespectful. You're trying to grieve, and here come the cops."
     "We certainly do not have to go." Hannibal smirked at the thought of a furious Jack. "You don't have to do anything you don't want to."
     "Jack Crawford believes otherwise." He put the book away. "If you haven't noticed by now, I'm just his pet. He thinks I'm some sort of FBI maid, cleaning up after everyone's messes."
     "How does that make you feel?"
     Will rolled his eyes, a sarcastic look on his face. "How's it make you feel?" He quipped.
     Bewildered, Hannibal paused for a moment. "To answer your question, no. I don't want to go, either." He didn't appreciate Will's mockery. Anyone who had ever spoken to him like that learned their lesson rather quickly. "Come down from there, would you?"
     As always, Will did what he said without hesitation. Once he reached the bottom of the ladder, he paused, confused, and then scoffed. "You made me do that, didn't you?"
     "You don't have to do anything you don't want to," Hannibal repeated.
     "I keep forgetting. Every day, I keep forgetting." Will dodged Hannibal's gaze and walked over to his chair, sinking down into it. He rubbed his temple. "I keep talking to you like that, and you'll probably have my head. Literally. I swear, it's like my brain doesn't believe any of it."
     "I am the Devil, Will. It is a harsh yet undeniable truth."
     "It's harsh, alright." He stared at a spot behind Hannibal. "You're wearing a very well-tailored person suit, Hannibal. You're in a disguise, and no one will ever know that."
     Hannibal shook his head. The analogy was much more accurate than he wanted to reveal at the moment. "No," he agreed. "They won't. Except you. And to tell you the truth, nobody will ever believe you if you decide to tell."
     Will fiddled with his hands. His blue eyes were skittish. Hannibal pictured those eyes spilling over, crying holy tears that would linger in Hannibal's mouth as he kissed Will's soft cheeks. Salt, desperation, gratitude. Then Will would wrap his strong arms around him and...
     "Tell me how you've been sleeping," Hannibal said to distract himself from the image.
     Will nodded. "I don't think I've ever slept a whole night uninterrupted before. I've always had dreams, or some tic will wake me up, or one of the dogs, but..I sleep all night now. No nightmares. No dreams at all, actually. I'm just..in the dark."
     "Do you like that? Or would you rather be in a dream?"
     "When I'm in the dark, I don't have to dream about other people. I don't have to wake up and remember I'm all alone. So, yeah, I'd say the darkness is nice. It's comforting."
     "You consider yourself to be lonely?" Again, he knew the answer to this. He pictured that empty house, swigs of whiskey and an empty mattress.
     "Oh, yeah." Will laughed bitterly. "Definitely. I mean...I'm alone, but I don't think I'm lonely, if that makes sense."
     "You don't mind being alone?"
     "I haven't lived with anyone since college. Even then, I only had a roommate for freshman year. I kept him up at night." He looked up at Hannibal, some odd expression passing over his face. "Are you pitying me right now? I don't need pity. I'm used to being on my own."
     Hannibal ignored this. "Have you had romantic partners?"
     "Yeah, a couple boyfriends, but not for about ten years. None of them stayed for long. They thought I was too unstable."
     Hannibal didn't show it, but the admission surprised him. "Are you only attracted to men?"
     "Yeah. But not...sexually. I don't like anyone sexually." He shrugged, awkward. "Another deal breaker for a lot of people."
     "What do you like?"
     "I don't know. I..I like it when men hug me. They're big and warm and strong. I like..I like being kissed. Being held."
     A little spark of joy in his chest. Let me be the one to kiss you. Let me hold you for hours and feel you breathe. Oh, he wanted Will so bad. Will could feel the same way, with the right moves on Hannibal's part. "Do you want another person in your life? Romantically, platonically? Or are you okay with staying alone?"
     "I don't know what the next hour brings me, Hannibal, let alone my life plans." He tilted his head upwards. "I don't know anything. I'm a nonentity. Just floating along."
     "That doesn't necessarily answer my question."
     Will was silent, blinking.
     "Do you want another person in your life?" Hannibal asked again.
     Slowly, still looking towards the ceiling, Will nodded. "Yeah," he confessed. "That would... that would be nice."
     "I know this likely isn't what you're asking for, but just know that you can always consider me a friend."
     Will finally lowered his head, and his eyes were suddenly hard. He raised an eyebrow, completely erasing the vulnerability he'd shown just moments before. "Well, I sure hope so," he said. "Something tells me that I should be on your good side."
     "I agree. You should." He placed his hands on the arms of his chair and stood, patting Will's shoulder before Will followed him to the door. "But you already are."