Lost in the Space Between

Chapter 3

Oliver's POV;

I almost double over laughing. Why is he saying that I'll hate him? Does he not realize that I'm gay as well?

Did I scare you off..?

no, of course u didn't.

   I call his cell and he picks up on the second ring.

"Oliver I-"

"Why do you think I'll hate you?" I say this with such an attitude that I think I scared Jackson. He stays quiet for a few moments before taking a deep breath.

"Because my mum will surely disown me if I ever told her any of that," he says, sounding like he's on the verge of tears. I hesitate on what to say next, because I don't want to hurt him more than he already is. I open my mouth to say something, anything, but I can't find the right words.

"I don't even know what I want, let alone who I want," Jack lets out a shaky breath that makes my heart ache. I remember the first time I came out to my mom, she was surprised, but she half-suspected it. It was only 5 years ago, and she's super supportive to this day.

"Listen," I begin, "you're not going to know for a long time, and that's okay, I went through the same things you did." I close my eyes and lay my head down on my pillow. "You're going through a lot of confusion, Jackson, and that's normal." I hear him sniffle over the phone and I wonder if he's been crying for a while now. 

"I just..I don't know anymore." Those words hit me hard. I grip my blanket and wince at the pain in my chest. I want this to stop. I want to help him. I just don't know how. "Maybe one day I'll want to be with a boy, then another day I might want to be with a girl..and maybe I might not want to be with anyone at all.." Pansexual? No. Maybe he likes people no matter what? Oh god, please give me a sign, give me some sort of sexuality for this poor kid to have.

"Maybe you're Jacksexual," I mutter, chuckling at my own joke. I hear Jackson go silent and I worry for a moment that I offended him. I open my mouth to begin apologizing but then he laughs. He laughs and I go numb. His soft melodic voice rings, like church bells. He takes my breath away and for a second I forget how to breathe, I forget how to do anything.

"Yeah," he says softly, almost whispering, into the phone, "maybe I am."

                                                                                     ---------

I wake up with an ache on my back. I groan at the pain and stretch as I slump out of bed. "Bullshit.." I whisper to myself as I head to my closet and pick out my clothes for today. I'm halfway putting my shirt on when I hear footsteps coming towards the closet door. I finish slipping my shirt on and open the door. "Yeah?" I see Olivia, dressed in purple and black, hand on her hip, glaring at me.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" I look at her in disbelief. What the fuck, Liv? What else would I be fucking doing on a school day. I don't say any of this to her face though, she'd surely get even more mad. "We're 10 minutes late because of you, asshole!" She jabs a finger at my chest, pushing me back slightly.

"Jeez, I'm sorry," I say, running a hand through my hair. "I didn't realize it was so late, it won't happen tomorrow." I give her an annoyed smile and she rolls her eyes, knowing that it will for sure happen again. She turns around and walks out my door, surely to go tell mother about my tardiness. I sigh and finish slipping my clothes on. I walk into my bathroom to comb my hair and brush my teeth. I'm brushing my teeth when I look up at the mirror. A memory flashes through my mind, but it's gone so quickly, I don't have time to process it. What was that? I thought to myself. I slapped the side of my face gently and splashed water on it. I was going insane. I rubbed my eyes and put my earrings on. I check my phone to see if I have any texts from Jack. Nothing. I pout in disappointment. I was actually looking forward to seeing at least one text from Jackson, especially after all the time we spent talking last night. We talked about anything we could think of, sometimes we'd talk about the most random things ever. I smiled at the memory but then remembered about getting downstairs on time. Olivia could leave anytime without me, but she's my only ride to school, I thought. I don't have my license, I'm always too busy being the straight A student I am to make time to get my driver's test done. I finish getting ready and head down the stairs.