you are all i have

chapter one

December, 1974

Castle Lestrange

"You look beautiful, Bella." Rodolphus poked his head from the doorway and smiled at his wife. She was standing in the middle of her chambers, examining herself in the mirror to put on the final touches of her look. Her black hair was cascading down her back and her jewellery complimented the black dress she had on for tonight's annual Christmas ball in the Greengrass manor. Bellatrix turned her head to look at her husband over her shoulder and then placed both of her hands on her swollen stomach. Things were going really well for them; after trying for years to have the child they both wished to have, five months ago she'd finally been blessed to carry the tiny life inside of her. Dolph had a customised wizarding robe of the finest silk on, not unlike Bellatrix, whose black silk gown was fitted to her weeks ago. Her middle had definitely grown after that though, and even so the fabric was complimenting her curves better than she could've hoped for. She walked past her husband only to smirk at him with her crimson red coloured lips. The puppy dog look in his eyes told her more than his words ever could have: poor Rodolphus loved her and she in some way, did love him back, but he wasn't the man she truly wanted. Bella pushed those thoughts away quickly, for this was a night of celebration and thinking about him never led to anything good. She couldn't help but wonder that maybe, if he hadn't pushed her away and ordered her to marry Dolph three years before, it would have been him next to her right now. The Dark Lord never seemed to think she was worthy of him. Bella still loved him with every beat of her heart.

The Greengrass manor was an ancient building next to the sea. The noble family had been living in it for the last centuries and somehow young Madam Eloise Greengrass had made the manor get back it's elegant appearance. Voldemort strolled inside with his black robes swinging behind him. The spacious ballroom was painted beige, with marble floors and overpriced chandeliers all over the room. The members of all pureblooded houses immediately lowered their heads in respect and the air tensed around them at the sight of their lord. The manor was packed with wizards and witches, each of them from a long line of magical blood. Most of the crowd was sporting Victorian-styled dresses and black robes with a small badge of the family crest bestowed to their bloodline. Voldemort took a glass of the finest elf-made wine from a waitress, and raised it in the air before drinking, as to give his followers and their wives and children permission to continue their polite conversations on the sides and waltzes on the middle of the floor.

He could see her through the crowd, with the jewels on her neck and the satin of her skirts shining under the chandelier. She had one of her breathtaking smiles on her crimson red lips, but the happiness she was radiating didn't quite reach her eyes. He drowned his glass of wine and tore his eyes away from the woman dancing with her husband on the marble floor. In all honesty, she wasn't his to claim anymore, he had pushed her away for the sake of his cause (and himself), and now her beautiful waist curved into a swollen belly. Bella and Rodolphus had announced the upcoming arrival of their firstborn a few months back, and he'd realised how badly he'd gone wrong with letting her go. Voldemort had accepted his decision though, and now he was in the middle of the Greengrasses' Yule ball very seriously thinking about blowing the whole dammed place up. Instead, he forced a polite smile to reach his lips and went to converse with his lieutenants.

The chatter had died down a bit and most people were dancing to the slow music played by violins. Bellatrix wasn't dancing, but rather on her third glass of apple juice in a row. 'Fucking pregnancy', she thought. Bella loved her unborn child, nonetheless she wished she could drown a shot of whiskey down her throat or go with Dolph to the battlefield sometimes. She was getting sick of the housewives wanting to entertain her with some nursery or name ideas and had hid herself into the corner. She wasn't alone for long, as she felt a light breeze on her shoulder and looked up to see the Dark Lord next to her. He was offering his arm to her, "Will Madam Lestrange care for a dance?". She instantly felt her eyes lit up, a smile curling her lips at him. Bellatrix let him lead her into a dancing position and saw her husband shoot them an envious look across the floor. A new piece of music started, along with their matching steps of one-two-three, one-two-three, one-two-three. It was a simple waltz, a peaceful moment, but no less perfect in Bella's mind. Voldemort was occasionally glancing away as if to stop himself from getting lost into the stars of her big brown eyes. Bellatrix on the other hand, was completely and utterly drowning in him; his brown hair that she wanted to run her fingers through so badly, his Slytherin green irises that shined with intelligence and the outlines of the muscles in his arms. Where the Dark Lord may have been many years her senior, she never saw that as an obstacle to think of him as the most attractive man to exist. Even long before he saw her as a woman, not just his student, she had been secretly touching herself under the blankets of her childhood bedroom at the thought of him. The violin played its last note and both of them ended their movements. She lingered in his arms for perhaps a little too long after the music had quieted down. Bellatrix stepped backwards in order to give him a little bow and then excuse herself, but suddenly people all around were screaming in panic, she could see children and women running all around them and the soldiers present already had their wands out. It didn't take her long to understand; Aurors. She drew out her wand and got into a duelling stance, momentarily forgetting the condition she was in. Voldemort was yelling orders while taking out three of the intruders, "If you're a Death Eater, fight only to kill, and if you're not, then get out!". Straight after she could hear Rodolphus, who was in the middle of a duel, shout at her to get the hell out of here and Bellatrix was about to turn and run outside to protect her only child when she saw a spell leave from a senior auror's wand, aimed at the back of the Dark Lord. She had a millisecond to think, and that left no time for any logic - Bella acted on instinct and then she was between the curse and the Dark Lord.