| The dare | Joonas Porko

Forgiveness

"What the fuck"

I turn my head and I see the person standing at the door. I hear Aleksi breathing heavily. My heart is beating fast. I close my eyes. Please let me wake up. This is all a nightmare. I open my eyes when I hear Aleksi saying something.
"I'm so sorry" the usual aura of happiness he has is now gone.
"We broke up and the next week you're making out with my bandmate"
"I'm sorry Joonas" I mumble. I don't know what to say. Joonas eyes start tearing up. I've never seen him cry, not Aleksi either depending on his face.
Joonas stares at us in anger.
"Aleksi. You can tell eveyone that I'm not a part of Blind Channel anymore.
"What!" Aleksi looks at him with big eyes. "You can't do that! I'm sorry Joonas!"
Joonas gives us a sweet smile. "Too late" He leaves us.

"What the hell have I done" Aleksi looks like he's about to cry. I stand up. "I'm sorry Aleksi"
Aleksi looks at me. "Shut up" I've never seen the normally so happy man look so angry and hurt. He leaves me there, alone, going after his old bandmate.

"Izzy. Izzy! Wake up!" Someone shakes my shoulder aggressively. I open my eyes. A person is leaning over me. "What are you doing here?" Niko asks me. He offers me his hand and helps me stand up. The daylight shines through the windows of the studio. Joel looks curiously at me.
I can't meet their eyes.
"What are you doing here?" Niko asks me the question again. I can't get the words out. "Izzy!" He waves his hand infront of my face. "Are you okay? Izzy look at us!"
I close my eyes and take a deep breath. I doesn't seem like Aleksi told them about Joonas yet. I meet Niko's eyes. "Joonas left the band"
Joel starts laughing. "Nice joke"
I look at him. "I'm serious!"
Niko looks confused. "Why would he do that?"
I hesitate. Should I tell them?
"He saw us making out" I didn't notice Aleksi coming into the room. He looks tired. "Is this some kind of prank?" Joel stares at us. "I wish it was" I mumble.
"Why would you do that?!" Joel looks really upset.
"Do what?" Olli comes into the studio. Esme isn't with him this time. "Aleksi and Izzy made out, here, and Joonas saw them. He left us. He left Blind Channel"
I shouldn't be here. I shouldn't have dated Joonas. I shouldn't have made out with Aleksi. This is my fault, and mine only. "I'm sorry" I wipe the tears running down my cheeks and rush out of the studio. I meet Tommi on my way out and he looks at me with confusion.

When I open the door I hear Esme watching TV. It's too late to sneak in to my room. I take a step into the hallway and she comes against me.
"Hello Izzy- Oh my god, what happend?" She pulls me into a hug. I'm still crying and make her sweater all wet.

"I fucked up"

After I told Esme everything and she made me a cup of calming tea, it felt a little bit better.
"I bet Joonas will come back. This isn't the first time something like this happens" Esme holds my hand tightly. "But I shouldn't have made out woth Aleksi" I feel like about to cry again. "It's okay Izzy. We all make mistakes. You did one this time, next time maybe someone else does. I promise they'll undetstand"
I sigh. "But how am I supposed yo fix everything?"

We stand outside the studio in the darkness. "You can do this" Esme grabs my hand and leads me.
I hear intense drumming when we open the door. "Guys!" Esme shouts and it becomes silent. She leads me to the middle of the room. It feels like a million eyes stare at me.
"I'm sorry for everything. I know it doesn't help you at all but I really mean it. And if I could wish anything I would wish that I could go back in time and fix my mistakes" I feel like crying again. I look up. Olli has a small smile on his face. Everyone looks calm, even Aleksi.
"It's fine Izzy. Aleksi told us everything. It was Joonas choice, not yours. And it will work out" Niko walks up to me and gives me a hug. Everyone else follow him, even Tommi.
"Don't cry" Joel wipe the tears off my face. "I'm just so happy you guys forgive me"
"Izzy has something important to do now if you excuse her" Esme winks at me. I nod. I can do this.

I stand outside his door holding a rose in my hand. What if he's not even home? Before I change my mind I knock three times. At first nothing happens, but then the door opens. "What are you doing here" Joonas stares at me. His eyes are red and swollen and he has dark eyebags under them.
I hand him the rose. "I'm really sorry for everything. I know you probably can't forgive me. I know that I was stupid. But I can't live if I don't do this. Please. I know you must be so mad at me. But Blind Channel needs you. They need you Joonas. Please don't do this"
Joonas looked like he was lost in his thoughts. Then he said: "Let's see, now get out of my sight"

When I walked home, I felt much better. Yes, Joonas wasn't sure if he was gonna return, but atleast I tried my best.

The next day me and Esme went to the studio. I didn't feel like it, but Esme wanted me to come. And after all she has done to me, I could do this one thing for her.

When we come in to the studio everyone is already there. I get a smile on my face when I notice Joonas sitting on a chair.
"Joonad decided to come back" Olli tells us the good news.
I guess this worked out well, even though I lost Joonas, maybe forever.