The Element of Surprise

Identity - Part 5

"Excuse me?" I nearly choke on air after what he said.

Rossi's eyes narrow at me, a hint of something flashing in them as he smirks - yes, smirks - at me, "Or should I buy you a drink first?"

'Ooh, that was gooood, that was hot. We like!' My subconscious purrs and I mentally scold her for both her manners and timing.

"Actually," Hotch speaks up from behind me, "that might actually work. Let's go outside. Prentiss, investigate Frost's truck with the sheriff. Report back when you find something that might give us an idea where he's taking her."

Once back outside, Emily marches towards the truck in the parking lot while Rossi leads me to one of the gas pumps. Although it seems Hotch was joining us, he strides off towards Derek, leaving me with the senior agent.

'Remember, this is just fun, casual, no-strings-attached role play. Just act casual, be yourself, try to enjoy it.'

Shut up, I scold my own thoughts, this isn't even regular role play. It's... work related.

'Po-tato, pot-ato.'

"Ready?" Rossi asks and stands in front of me. I nod and he begins the exercise, "Okay, you're Goehring, a sadistic bastard. I'm Frost, a submissive, troubled, gay man. I need you to dominate me because it gives me direction and a purpose in life."

'I bet we can make him beg. Oh, wait, can we use handcuffs?'

Silencing that annoying little voice, I step into character, "And life is good. Then one day, I pull the pin on a grenade."

"You die," Rossi says as he takes a step closer to me - I can smell his expensive cologne "And when I lose you, I begin to lose my identity, because my sense of self was tied to you." For a moment, I imagine him running his eyes over my face, over my neck, and then settling on my lips for a brief moment before meeting my gaze once again. I did imagine that, right?

Swallowing at our close proximity and forcing myself to focus, I rake my brain for the correct term of what he's referring to, "You... you're showing classic signs of depersonalization disorder precipitated by the stressor of losing a loved one."

"Now, all that's left is me."

"And you hate yourself."

"I do." This time I'm sure he glanced at my lips. "Why?"

'Because, obviously there is some wicked, back-arching, skin-clawing, lip-locking, and hip-grinding chemistry between the two of you,' Subconscious sing-songs, 'Duh.'

"Because I brainwashed you..." I breath a response, not daring to move or blink underneath his heated stare. Remembering this is a case and not actual role play - since that would wrong considering he's my boss and about twice my age give or take - I remind myself to step back into Goehring's character, "...with all my rules. Because I've told you over and over how weak you are, how you're nothing without me."

"Right," he nods and, to my relief and dismay, takes a step back to start pacing, "So I go back to my home and annihilate everything I own, every reminder of who I am. I erase myself and become you."

"It's the only way that you can survive, the only way you can hold onto me."

'That's actually not a bad idea. Let's get him to hold us.'

"Frost transforms himself into Goehring and goes back to abducting women because that's what Goehring would do," Rossi's voice overlaps the one in my head, keeping me rooted and invested in the case.