winnie - B.B

part 2

???? - ????                       

He wished he'd died. Even that would have been better than this.

Perhaps that was the hardest part about becoming The Winter Soldier. The forgetting. The remembering, and then the forgetting again. The only glimpse of hope was when he would think of them for a brief second before the electricity shocked the memory away. The only part of his body which had touched his young daughter had been ripped from him and replaced with a murderous hunk of metal.

He was unsure of where he was. It felt like years had passed, but for all he knew it could have only been days.

The only hope of seeing his wife and daughter again was imaginary. Bucky had resorted to calling Y/N his wife. After all, he couldn't remember for certain if they were married or not. He recalled a ring on her finger but no ceremony.

What a terrible husband he was. What she would think of his if she knew he was still alive. Would she be ashamed of what he had done. Mad that he broke their promise. Or would she simply be thankful to see him again. Bucky prayed for the latter.

He prayed for his daughter - however old she would be now. He prayed that they were safe at home in Indiana. He prayed there was a picture of him on the mantlepiece next to his Father's. It was selfish, but he prayed Y/N had never taken another lover.

It was hard not to get carried away when he prayed. He would never admit it to anyone but he often found himself dreaming of his family. There was a lot of time to think in the ice, and Bucky did not use it sparingly. There were some things he thought of so often, he was unsure if they were true or not.

He thought of the farm in Indiana - Where his parents grew up. He saw Y/N there, she was younger, around 7. They played together in the wheat. Cartwheeling down the hill as Bucky shot his toy gun. He remembered them playing 'house'. He was the breadwinning father, and she was the housewife, raising their baby daughter. She would always protest, saying that she should be the one to do the hunting, as she was taller.

It was strange how real it felt. Considering they met at 16 in New York City. Y/N had never once set foot in Indiana. In fact, she'd never even left the State.

But Bucky pretended anyways. Hours of imagining their Senior Prom. How ridiculous he looked in his father's old suit. He could have sworn this one was real, but the ending got foggy. It was the night He had told Y/N he had signed up for the 107th regiment. He thinks they broke up after that.

That wasn't what he chose to replay though. In his Cryofreeze contemplation, he watched their life from behind his eyes. The life that had he been given the chance, he would take in an instant. He never joined the war, He didn't care about what was thought. He didn't listen to the insults. instead, they ran away. At 25, a small wedding in beige and white. Just the two of them and the minister. He unfastened the pearl necklace around her neck and laid her in their marital bed. Not long after, Winnie came along, and he stayed. He raised her. He got to be her father.

They sat in the same field from when they were children, the sun setting as they relaxed. He no longer cared about what was real and what was fake. He only cared that his wife and child were with him. Y/N laid out a red picnic blanket, and he helped set the meal she had made. Winnie danced around an old oak tree, the wind blowing through her curly hair.

"Come eat, Honey" Y/N's angelic voice spoke. He never recalled her calling anyone that.

Bucky didn't worry though. He instead took a bit of the grilled cheese sandwich she had made. The hunger overtook him as he practically devoured it whole. Y/N gave him a look.

"I'm starved." he laughed, crumbs falling from his mouth. "Haven't eaten in ages."

"You were Longing for it, were you"

He smiled, as Winnie came to sit on his lap. He grunted stiffly as he sat upright. God, he was getting old.

"Bit rusted aren't you, darling. " She cooed, "Not seventeen anymore are we?"

"Definitely not"

Y/N laid a head on his shoulder, gazing up to the orange sun which was nestling itself between the trees. "I wish we could stay here until daybreak," she stated, "but we'd get too cold"

"Are you cold?" He asked her. Grinning cheekily because he knew the answer. He himself was starting to feel different. Yet, nothing took importance over his two best girls.

"Do you think an outdoor furnace exists?" She asked, "Somebody should get on that, I'm freezing."

"You're always freezing"

"That is very true, Buck. Though I'd need nine to even feel something."

His face contorted, She'd never called him that? "Buck? That's a new one"

"It's benign-"

"Y/N?" He asked, worried. Something was wrong. He could feel it. "Winnie, where are you?"

Bucky looked around for any sign of his young daughter, but she had disappeared. He called again.

"Homecoming"

"What does that mean?." He begged, a tightness forming in his chest. "Y/N, Where is Winnie?"

"One"

He stood up, pulling his wife to her feet. Tears streamed down her face as she spoke one last time before the world around him melted.

"Freight Car"

His eyes snapped open.

AN: sad :( also last part soon :((