winnie - B.B

part 3

2023 - New York City

He heard nothing of what became of Y/N. Bucky hoped that she'd passed quietly in her sleep, of old age. He hoped that Winnie sat beside her the whole time. He hoped that she managed to carry on with her life without him. Of course, he still hoped she hadn't carried on too much. He wanted her to be happy, but the thought of her with another man tore him in two. He hoped she raised Winnie well, raised her how they would have together. He hoped that nothing bad came of them both. But he could never be sure.

He'd looked everywhere for his daughter, wondered if she married, had kids of her own. Grandkids perhaps. But there was no mention of a Winifred Barnes anywhere he looked. He hoped that her Mother had kept his name."James I asked you a question" His therapist spoke, calm but stern.Bucky could not reply, his mind wandered, aimless steps through a meaningless existence. No move that he made felt permanent anymore. It all felt like it could be pulled from below his feet as he walked.

"Did you hear me?" She continued, "I asked if you found out any more on Y/N?"

He did not leave any room for a reply as he grabbed his coat and left the treatment room.Sam Wilson was waiting for him outside.

Ultimately, Bucky did not know the man well, He knew him as a friend of Steve's and that was all. He felt trustworthy, always cuts right to the chase. Bucky liked him, he reminded him of Y/N.

"You need to open up if you expect therapy to work," he raised an eyebrow,

"I don't open up."

Sam snorts, "I don't open up, blah, blah" he mocks, voice nasally. "Man, you something else"

A black car pulls up. The pair climb in the backseat. Sam whispers into the driver's ear."Where we going," Bucky asks, but the question falls on empty ears. The only response is Sam's cheeky smirk.

Normally Bucky would be paranoid, he would worry that he did not know where he was going, but he felt safe with Sam. It was strange to say, but he had not felt that way in a long time. He'd never explicitly told the younger man about his past, but Sam always just seemed to know. They pulled up outside a retirement home soon after.

"What's this," Bucky asks, "I'm old, but I'm not decrepit"

"There's someone I think it's time you met"

"I'm not really in the business of meeting new people right now," he says.

The home is plainly coloured. Nice. Old-fashioned. Well not to Bucky at least, It felt rathe homely to him. Reminded him of his Mother's home in Indiana. Re-runs of some TV show played softly on TVs. The subtitles so large you could barely see the picture.

The nurse seemed to know who they were however, There was barely a word exchanged before they were taken to a room. The hallway was peculiar. Each of the doors different.

"We replace the doors that look like ones from the Patient's home's. We find that it helps with the confusion." The nurse speaks softly as they come to a halt outside one, "I believe this one may look familiar to you, Mr Barnes."

She was correct. It looked like the house in Indiana that he promised to buy for Y/N. The red-stained mahogany was exactly as she wanted it. A stained glass panel on each side, with a bronze doorknocker.

It was overwhelming, to say the least.

"I didn't know how to tell you, so I thought i should just show you." Sam said, placing a hand on Bucky's shoulder, "She might not know who you are, we don't know how much Y/N spoke of you afterwards"

"Y/N?" He asked, hand resting on the glass pane. The silent reply told him he was wrong. Of course, he was wrong, It would have been a miracle had she still been alive. "Winnie?" he asked again.

The nurse nodded softly, opening the door quietly and entering. The same TV show played but Bucky did not care.

"Winifred? there is someone here to see you."

"How many times do I have to tell you not to call me that. My name is Winnie." A stubborn voice called out.

Even from behind a door, he could tell that she was the spitting image of her mother. They even sounded the same. Though this was much more croaky, tired.

"Winifred, This is James Barne-"

"Daddy?" The elderly woman interrupted.

"Winnie?" He whispered, tears welling in his eyes.

"My Daddy" She called, sitting up in the bed. The shaking of the older woman surprised Bucky. The last time he'd seen her was the day she was born. After that, hardly even a picture. And here she was, nearing the end of her life. Almost 90 years of growing old, missed. "My Daddy is here. This is my Daddy" she cries. It broke Bucky's heart.

"Yes, I'm your daddy," Bucky said, practically glued to the spot. Sam's strong hand urged him forward to greet her. It was certainly a strange situation to witness. Bucky was perhaps the only person in the world who would ever experience this. The elderly woman began to push from the bed, the heart monitor picking up the pace with her. She grabbed a picture frame from her nightstand.

"My Mama and Daddy" She stated, holding the picture for the room to see, "Mama always said that my Daddy would come back. Mama always said that Daddy loved me""Your Mama was absolutely right, buttercup."

The picture was old and tattered, but Bucky knew it well. A memory of the night they first found out about their baby. Steve had taken them to a photographer to celebrate. Where he got the money from, they were unsure. But, thankful all the same.

The monitor beeping continued, pace gaining rapidly. Wet eyes looked up at him. Full of confusion. "Where?" She asked, sitting back on the high mattress of the bed. "Where is mama?"He took the elderly woman's hand. Bringing it to his lips gently, "Your Mama is in heaven, my girl."

"Well, then I shall go to heaven to be with her."

The childish innocence that Winnie had returned to erupted deep sobs from Bucky. He knew that their time together was to be short. But he did not mind. A short while was far better than no while at all. He could not reply, vocalising any thoughts made them far too real.

"Mr Barnes?" The nurse asked, "I have to get Winifred ready for bed, though you are welcome to visit again next week"

"Can't we come again tomorrow?" Sam asked, Bucky had forgotten he was even in the room.The nurse smiled solemnly, "Unfortunately, the nature of Winifred's condition means that we have to restrict visitors. We find that it can put the patients under unnecessary stress."

Bucky nodded sharply in acceptance. Deep down he knew he would not get to see her. Deep down he knew he would not return next week. In fact, deep down, he knew he would not return ever. His heart ached for his wife and child, but this was not how it should happen. It was not what Y/N would have wanted. It was not what his little girl needed.

Standing to leave, he whispered his goodbyes, Winnie's eyes were drowsy as she was laid into bed. "Bye Daddy" she whispered.

"Goodnight, Winnie" He replied, closing the door softly.