The nail in my coffin ~ Ian McKinley

The train... ~ 11 ~ (Final part)

Edited: July 7th 2022

We walked out of the field. It was my turn, I would be the end of it. I still couldn't believe the things I've seen. And now, walking away from the person I loved, I just feel empty.... I just know that I will be welcoming my death with open arms.

--

"We may feel that our lives are not our own. That Death controls, frames our lives. Our birth's nothing but death begun. Yet, whether it is with this tragic loss of young lives... which we have suffered much of late... or with the soft passing of the elderly in the night... we are all equal in Death's eyes." 

This was the 5th time I've heard the priest say it and still I can't get used to it... It's been a week after Ian's death and every time I close my eyes it takes me back to that field, the blood...

Kevin and Wendy came to help me through Ian's funeral but honestly, I don't know if Ian would have wanted them here. If he would have wanted any of these people here. I don't even know if he'd wanted me here....

"Those of you who would like to pay a final remembrance... please step forward at this time."

I stepped forward before Kevin nor Wendy could hold me back.

I stepped up and faced the people who called themselves his friends and family.

"Last night, I knew exactly what I was going to say, how I was going to say it... But now that I'm here, I realise that I don't want to know what I'm going to say... I'm just gonna tell you all how I feel right now... I feel empty, mad, guilty.... You can kinda will in the blanks yourself... It's my fault all those people died on the roller coaster... It's my fault they're dead.... I've known Ian since middle school. I practicly know him better then he does himself. So let me give you all a little message from him, "What the fuck are you doing here? I don't want you here! You don't deserve to be here after yelling at me, mom. After telling me you wish I was never born, dad. After blaming everything you did wrong on me, brother. And after abandoning your best friend and I for some losers you only know for 2 days, (Y/n)." What I'm trying to say is. Ian hated it when people cried over something they didn't deserve to be crying about. So shut the fuck up."

And with that I walked away. Flipping the bird to everyone. "Oh yea and we all know you hit your wife and children, Mark. It's not that hard to notice." I yelled at Ian's dad. Then I turned around and walked away from everyone

"That was something else..." I heard someone from behind me say. I turned around and it was Bludworth. "Mr. Bludworth..." I smiled.

"Death is gonna come for you... Be careful..." He turned around and walked away. I smiled to myself before walking away and getting into Ian's old van...

"Wait (Y/n)!!" Kevin and Wendy came running at me, and opened the door of the van. I immediatly knew what was wrong. 

"Get out! Now!" Kevin yelled. I didn't wait any longer and jumped out of the van. And just when I jumped out, a truck hit the back of Ian's van, making the frontseat hit the stearingwheel. A piece of the backseat flew through the frontseat and was stuck in the place mine and Ian's heads would have been in the picture.

"Oh God..." I said. Kevin helped me up. "The truck... You were right Wendy..." Kevin said

(Five months later)

Wendy and I joined college four months ago. We were in the subway with our friends; Laura and Sean.