find you || kiho

CHAPTER III

Hoseok slowly relaxed as he turned off the stove and removed his tea kettle. The smell of citrus filled the air. Hoseok poured himself a cup and sat down on the couch. Kihyun had been in the spare bedroom for a while, but he didn't want to intrude or rush the younger man. Broken, grieving hearts needed time to heal. Besides, Kihyun wasn't the only one suffering. Hoseok had gotten close to Hyunwoo while he and Kihyun had dated. Hyunwoo had come to him for advice, knowing that Hoseok and Kihyun were best friends. They had formed a brotherly bond, one that couldn't be forgotten so easily.

Was that all Hoseok would be to Kihyun? Just a brother? Just a friend?

Hoseok almost slapped himself. He was only thinking of his feelings for Kihyun, but he wasn't thinking of Kihyun's feelings. He sighed, frustrated with himself, and continued drinking his tea.

_

13 years ago

Ten-year-old Hoseok shivered as he pulled his jacket tighter around him. It probably hadn't been too smart of him to leave the house with only a thin jacket, but he had been rushing. The faster he got out, the less he would see of his drunken father.

He sat on a bench, staring out at the empty playground. He quickly got bored and decided to go play. He climbed up the stairs of the playground and jumped when he saw a boy curled up in front of the slide. Hoseok walked closer and cautiously tapped the boy on the shoulder. A soft yawn escaped the other's lips and he slowly stirred, opening his eyes to see Hoseok. The boy let out a surprised yelp and immediately sat up and backed away. He curled into a ball, his chin tucked into his knees.

"A-Are you okay?"

The boy nodded and slowly stopped rocking himself.

"I gotta go..." he murmured, uncurling himself. He watched as the younger boy ran off into the dark.

Every other night, Hoseok would see Kihyun again at the same spot in front of the slide. Sometimes, they would talk. Sometimes, they would just sit quietly with each other. 

Two weeks later, Hoseok came clean about why he came to the park all the time.

"My dad's a drunk," he said softly. "I never want to be home when he's drinking."

Kihyun was quiet for a moment before speaking.

"My parents fight all the time, but mostly at night. I pretend I don't hear... but I do."

They went silent, just taking in each other's presence and comforting each other. Neither of them spoke another word, but they just knew.

_

As they got older, they got closer. They went to school together, primary, secondary, high school, and college. Hoseok ended up falling in love, but it had been too late. Kihyun had already fallen in love with someone else. He had fallen in love with Hyunwoo. Hoseok had supported them wholeheartedly and had gotten close with Hyunwoo. He had cared for the older like a brother and was able to suppress his feelings for Kihyun. He didn't let his selfishness ruin their happiness. And everything had been perfect. Until that damn car accident.

As much as he wanted to, he couldn't get rid of his feelings for the younger so quickly. It would take time. That's what they both needed. Time.

Hoseok decided to second guess if it had been a good idea to let Kihyun stay.

I can't shut him out. He trusts me. But what if I fall in love with him even more?

He stood up and made his way to the spare bedroom, knocking quietly.

"Ki?" he whispered softly. "Kihyun?"

He carefully opened the door. The younger was fast asleep, his dark locks covering his face. He looked so peaceful. He walked into the room and closed the open window so Kihyun wouldn't be disturbed by the light. With a soft smile, he left the room.

He could do it for Kihyun. He would pretend that everything was normal. He would be there for his best friend and stay by his side.

Even if Kihyun didn't return Hoseok's feelings, he wouldn't ruin their friendship. 

Kihyun meant too much to him. Without a doubt, Hoseok would sacrifice his own happiness for Kihyun's.

Love worked in mysterious ways. That's just how it worked for Hoseok.