Language of Love|| Minchan

Chapter 6

Minho's Pov

After I had left, I wasn’t sure what to do with myself. It was strange being on my own now. After five years with you, suddenly, I was alone. Did I make the right choice? Should I have stayed and tried to work out our differences? Or would this ending just have been delayed?

Moving back to my parents’ house was surreal, seeing my childhood bedroom after all these years. Nothing had changed. The bed sheets were still the same shade of pale blue, the walls were the ugliest color of yellow. Why they didn’t paint over it, I couldn’t tell you. Everything was just how I left it when I moved in with you.

Now my room feels dark. Despite all the bright colors that occupy my room, they’re dull in my eyes. I just can’t seem to pull myself out of this hole that I dug myself. I didn’t think that I would end up this deep. I was supposed to leave you, and then everything would be fine. But now, I don’t think I am leaving this pit of despair. Months later, and I’m still stuck.

But, no matter how the room looked to me, I don’t think that I’m leaving anytime soon. I don’t think I’m ever going to meet someone who will convince me to live with them ever again. That fantasy was ruined after you. It took me a good couple of weeks to move everything back in, with the help of my parents and Jisung.

My parents were concerned for me the first few weeks after moving in. I holed myself up in my room, not doing anything. I stopped attending lectures and just did the assignments online. I couldn’t bear to get out of bed for anything other than to use the bathroom. You completely wrecked me. I was barely eating, forget about sleeping. You’d be surprised how dirty a room can get when you don’t do anything all day.

There were some days I was proud of myself for even waking up. Just opening my eyes felt like a chore. At least, in my dreams, I could be happy. I could be anywhere I wanted in my dreams. I could be with you. But those were rare. The good dreams, that is. Most of the time, I was having nightmares. Of course, I had them before we broke up, as many people have nightmares, but they’ve gotten so much worse in these months apart. Much more frequent and much gorier.

Jisung was there for me after everything happened. I’m sure you didn’t know that, nor would you have liked to, seeing how jealous you were of him. We didn’t do anything differently than we did while you and I were together, though. He was just there to comfort me while I was aching. We would often lay in bed in each other’s arms, just as we did before the breakup. Nothing changed between the two of us, whether it’s believable or not. The only difference being neither of us had to worry about you getting mad about it.

Jisung stayed the night almost every single night. I knew that he was getting sick of my sad attitude, but he still kept showing up for some reason. He put in so much effort for me, and I am eternally grateful that I still had him. He’s seen me through good and through bad. He’s seen me through things that I never shared with you through our five years together.

I understand that you were upset about Jisung. I see why it made you uncomfortable. But you never saw why he was the only person that could touch me. You never understood that he was the only form of physical affection I could safely get from someone that wasn’t sexual. He was there for me for so many years. We watched each other grow up. So, I guess you were right. We weren’t just friends. He was my brother, and I was his. There was nothing in this world that I wouldn’t do for him. And it seems that included ending things with you.

I always said that school was my priority. But he was above school. He was my top priority. And maybe that’s not a good thing when you’re in a relationship. But I felt that I had a duty to protect him, and my family came first for me. Was it right? No, it wasn’t. But that was how it was.