How To Save A Life

7. lost a friend

Where did I go wrong?
I lost a friend
Somewhere along
In the bitterness
__

CASSIE'S POV

The next week went by like a blur, my mind erasing all of the pain I'd been through and ignoring the stares aimed at me day after day. After my outburst, I had become bombarded by questions and rumours from all sides; surrounded by the whispers and lies.

Before now, I had never realised how many people were in my school. Wide-eyed students lined the corridors, curious members of any cliques watched me at my usual lonely table in the cafeteria. Even the teachers and staff had heard of the cruel joke played on me, keeping me behind after lessons to ask if I needed any support. It seemed that there was only one person left who wasn't dying to know all of the details or ask for my opinion on something - Matthew.

Even hearing his name brought tears to my eyes, and walking home wasn't an ideal place to cry. There was still a week left until I could finally leave high school forever, yet the gossip and teasing made it so much more difficult to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

I slipped down a dark alleyway, choosing to avoid the busy streets and take the long way back to my house. It would add an extra 20 minutes onto my walk if I went around the town centre, but this way I would only pass one popular hangout for high school kids on a Friday afternoon. There wouldn't be anyone at home to miss me, and now didn't seem like a good time to be harassed by more teenagers on the street.

There were still people who gave me a second look as I passed by, all wondering when I'd finally have the breakdown they had been waiting so long for. It was true that I still hadn't really cried over this, I simply chose to push myself forward and hold myself together with a smile and a wave at those who least expected it. The best revenge is to kill them with kindness.

Shouts came from the other side of the pavement, words like "freak" and "loner" piercing my mind. How did it get like this? Before the incident, name calling wasn't a huge problem. Obviously there were bullies, there are in every school, but it was suddenly as if the entire student body was against me. Then again, Matt was captain of the football team; a popular jock who anyone would stick up for, especially against someone like me.

Sneaking a glance across at the rowdy pizza place, I almost choked on a breath when I saw the familiar faces of the football team. Luke, Thomas and Robert were the first to turn and watch me as I passed, still proud of their stunt. Their cheers and shouts increased, now aimed at me, but I simply flashed the boys a smile and looked away to hide the tears still threatening to fall.

I noticed that he wasn't with the group as he usually was. Though Matt never did torture me with the rest of his friends, he never said a word to stop it, hurting me even more. Couldn't he just torment me with everyone else? At least then I'd feel like the pain was worth something; I would know he's the same as the others.

What felt like a thousand years later was actually just a few minutes, and I was finally on the path leading towards my house. All that surrounded me now was trees, leaves and the open air, following me as I meandered back to my own safe haven. Though my family were rarely at the house, it still made me feel like I had somewhere that I could be myself. I could scream, cry and rant as much as I want, even if I had nobody to hold me and tell me it would get better.

Wandering through the door, I was met with the same emptiness and silence that had been my only company since I was a small child. My parents had been nothing more than strangers to me, occasionally sitting me down for dinner or buying me a cheap gift from a convention somewhere far more exotic than the plain, boring USA. I wanted to hate them for abandoning me, but who could blame them? I wouldn't trade a lifestyle of fame, money and travelling for anything.