How could something beautiful like love be so painful? The exact question has pondered your mind for the last three years of loving him. Lee Minho.
You knew he wasn't an easy person to get along with, let alone love, that was just how he was. In the beginning of your marriage you had been convinced he was hopeless, he would never show any signs of affection because he was an emotionless human being.
You were wrong. He was just a boy who had a hard time expressing his feelings. The little things he did to show you he cared for you was more than enough for you. Or so you thought. Because over the last few years with him, you learned something. He had never once shown any signs of interest in you romantically. He only cared for you as a friend, or maybe even something lower.
For the past years you remembered your anniversaries, his birthdays, everything. Never once did he remember yours. All the times you've tried to get him to open up more about him, you've been patient. Waiting. And more waiting. For the day he would finally realize your actions were much more than a simple partnership. For the day he would finally say I love you back.
But not once, ever did that happen. And now you finally knew it was time to let go.
The light near the door lit up as Minho entered the dim living room, expecting the lights to be off as usual but he was meant by you sitting on the couch instead. He was a bit confused, it was unusual for you to be up this late but Minho sat besides you anyways.
"What are you doing up this late?" Minho questioned as he poured water into a glass, you however could not meet his eyes.
"I have something important to discuss with you," your tone was colder than usual, but as expected Minho didn't notice a thing.
"Can't it wait until tomorrow? I'm tired from work," Minho took a sip and set his glass down, this time you tried to hold your anger back.
"Let's get a divorce," Minho was silent as soon as the words left your voice, because he knew you were not the type to joke around.
"May I ask why?" not a don't leave me, not a no we cant, just a why.
The grip on your pants tightened as you finally looked at Minho, "I can't do this anymore."
"I thought everything was going well, why do you suddenly want a divorce?" By everything was going well, Minho only meant the company. The company he would soon inherit was doing well because of your successful marriage.
"Minho..can't you see? I'm in love with you ! Do I have to spell it out for you ? I've been in love with you, but I just can't do this anymore. You clearly don't love me, every time I have hopes, every time you make my heart go crazy, I know it means nothing to you. If I don't do this how can I stop hurting, stop loving you more as time goes by? I can't erase my feelings if I don't do this, believe me I tried. I tried so many times to stop loving you.." Minho's gaze softened a bit at your tears, he badly wanted to wipe them away, stop you from hurting but he thought back to your words. Every action of his meant false hope for you. All this time he had been oblivious to you hurting, hurting because of him.
"I'm sorry for not noticing and acknowledging your feelings y/n, but now I do know it's too late. But I don't want to end this on a bad note, so I want you to know all these years I really did care for you. Even if it's not the same way that you feel for me, I still see you as a friend. Thank you for staying by my side these last three years. You deserve to be loved and happy but I can't be that person for you..."
At last a confirmation, maybe that was one of the things you needed to let go. A confirmation that Minho indeed never felt anything for you. Love was a funny thing. The one sentence that made your heart tore, was the same that gave you motivation to move on.
"I don't regret loving you Minho, I only blame myself. Thank you for being my first love," you decided it was best to stay somewhere else for tonight, you couldn't bear to be in the same house as him.
You both decided to start with the divorce papers tomorrow, and for tonight you would be alone with your thoughts.
The night breeze kissed your face, it's coldness somehow comforted you like a mother's lullaby to her child. After walking for an eternity your feet found its way to the same place you had met Minho ; the Han river. The Han river had been a place you two had gone often, the first time you had heard Minho crack a joke was exactly here. He had joked about his friend being named Han, thus the name Han river.
You settled down in your usual spot, searching for something, maybe a meaning. The view of the river was beautiful as always, its calming appearance slowed your breaths. Glancing at the bag next to you, you took out a can of beer and sipped it. Long and slow, the coolness of the beer was refreshing.
And then the tears followed. You felt like a teeneager going through their first breakup, although yours was a divorce. Reminiscing the memories of Minho that played in your mind like a soft melody, the tears would not stop soon. You knew this was for the better, in your heart you knew, but you didn't want this pain to continue.
if only you realized sooner, when you told the stars about him, he also never listened to them in the first place.
