Because I'm Still in Love With You

Chapter 2

The next morning Richie is there bright and early with breakfast for the two of them. Eddie was already awake and on his phone. "Good morning Eddie Spaghetti! How are you feelin?"
"Morning rich, I'm feeling okay." He says, trying to sound cheerful and failing miserably.
"Hey, you okay?" Richie's joking tone dropped into a more serious one. Eddie had to tell him, he knew he did. He might as well just get it over with.
"I- I told my wife I want a divorce." Richie's eyes opened comically wide.
"Holy shit dude. Why? I mean if you don't mind me asking, that's like crazy personal and-"
"No man, it's fine. I know I didn't tell you that much about her but believe me, it was for the best."
"What do you mean? She didn't...  she didn't hurt you did she?" Richie's voice was starting to slip into a more angrier tone.
"I mean.." Eddie paused. Richie looked like he was about to explode. "She was just like my mom.. with the meds and everything. always worrying about me getting sick or some bullshit like that.'' Richie sat on the edge of Eddie's bed.
"I'm so sorry Eddie. That sucks. That sucks a lot."
"Yeah.. I guess I'm just mad at myself for falling back into the same shit after finally getting away from it you know." He doesn't look Richie in the eye.
"Hey, don't do that man. I mean look at Bev. She basically married her father. Do you think it's her fault?"
"No! No, of course not. But it's different for me."
"How? How the fuck is it any different?"
"Because," Here goes nothing. "because I'm gay Richie. I think I new for a long time, before I was even dating her, and I still married her. I'm a fucking coward."
"Eddie, stop saying that shit. It's not fucking true." Eddie was surprised Richie didn't even mention the fact that Eddie had just told him he was gay.
"Yes.. yes it is Richie. We both know it." Eddie feels tears slip down his cheeks. His throat is on fire and he chokes back a sob.
"No the fuck it's not. You asshole, it's not fucking true." Richie then pulls him into a tight hug. It hurts his chest slightly, but he doesn't say anything. "Remember what I said? You're braver then you think, you're not a fucking coward." Eddie then sobs into Richie's shoulder. Richie begins to stroke Eddie's hair and Eddie starts to calm down. He takes a couple of deep breaths and pulls away from Richie after a while to wipe his tears.
"Thank you richie." he says quietly.
"Don't worry about it, I'm always here for you." Richie reaches up and wipes a remaining tear from Eddie's cheek.
They're sitting and talking quietly when Eddie, once again, starts to think of the future. "I just have no idea what I'm going to do. I guess I could get an apartment in New York."
"Well.." Richie picks at his cuticles. "You could come stay with me.. in LA. I have a guest bed."
"Are you- are you fucking with me?" Richie's head snaps up.
"No! No man, I'm not fucking with you. Wouldn't you need someone to help change your bandages anyway?"
"I guess you're right. And I really don't wanna go back to New York."
"So is that a yes?" Richie asks hopefully.
"I'd have to sort some shit out but.. yeah I think it's a yes." Eddie smiles at him and Richie fucking beams back.
"Oh man, I'm gonna annoy the shit out of you." Richie grins and laughs.
"I'm gonna regret this aren't I." Eddie says stone cold.
"Oh absolutely Spaghetti!" Richie fluffs eddies hair.

Richie is back at the townhouse taking a scalding hot shower. He's been in his head all day since Eddie dropped a bomb on him. Eddie is divorcing his wife and he's fucking gay. Richie very nearly told him that he was as well. Why didn't he? It's not like Eddie would think it's gross or that he would be homophobic obviously. So what was the problem? Richie rationalizes it as he wouldn't want to make things weird between Eddie and him. He could never tell Eddie about his love for him. Just because Eddie's gay doesn't mean he likes Richie like that, but he can't help but hope. Richie rubs his hands over his face and almost screams. Maybe he should talk to Bev, but Richie has a feeling he already knows what she's gonna say. Maybe he should talk to Ben. He's the big romance guy right? But then he'd have to tell Ben hes gay as well as being in love with Eddie, and he's not sure if he's ready for that. He's going to have to come out to the Losers eventually, but when he does he wants it to be on his own terms, not because he's scared. He thinks it will be soon though, he's been holding in to this secret for forty fucking years and it's going to break him. He's so tired all the time and he just wants to feel ok again.
Richie turns the shower off and wraps his towel around him. He has to go into the hospital tomorrow to be taught how to change Eddie's bandages. Eddies is going to be released soon and it honestly scares the shit out of him. All of the Losers were still here, waiting for Eddie to be released. Eddie had told them multiple times that they didn't have to, but they had none of it. Richie couldn't be more lucky. If only Stan was here, then it'd be complete. but he knew that wasn't possible. Stan made that decision for himself and now everyone else had to deal with it. Richie doesn't think he will ever truly comprehend Stan the man being gone, but he has to. He'll do his best to cope and that's all he can really hope for. He had never met Stan's wife, but he had wished all the best to her. She lost her husband and she may have no real idea why. That's what hurt Richie the most, that she may never know the truth herself.