Thoughts in second person

Sadness or imagination?

⚠️suicidal ideation and depression mentioned ⚠️

What cause sadness? Why is it a feeling so intense that just one measly slip can bring on such a big emotion. She often wonder if she was really sad or just pitying herself. When sadness arrives she would feel it in her eyes and her chest. Her mind would play tricks on her. Make her think "your dramatic" and bring on thoughts that made her feel worse of herself. She couldn't get sleep most nights because her mind would make her worry of things not there. She just wanted peace and normality. She didn't want to take meds that gave her headaches and caused her drowsiness, she wanted freedom. She grew tired of the constant battle she had with her brain, so much so that she didn't see the need to continue. Would all of the misery end if she no longer existed? She always wondered, why not give up? She desperately wanted to but, there was something keeping her here. And what she didn't know. There was an inkling that it was her family but they both gave her joy and so much pain. She wish she could only exist in the happy moments as few as they were.