Money For Something

27 - Family Affair

**Ace**

Who the hell was this giant Outlander style bloke that Willow – my Willow – was flinging her bikini clad body at?

Yes, I know what Outlander is – four sisters remember? And I am very aware that many women are very keen indeed on Jamie the giant redheaded main character, even if one of my sisters almost caused a riot by insisting that book Jamie was hotter than television Jamie. Personally, I didn't give a shit about any of the Jamie's other than the redheaded lookalike that Willow was attacking like a crazed kilt chaser.

I wonder what I'd look like in a kilt?

With a jolt I realised that the sound of a feral cat growling was me. Jealousy didn't suit me but then neither did standing around like a wanker while my wife climbed a giant redwood. One minute I was stalking in their direction along the edge of the pool and the next, pool water was closing over my head with a stinging splash.

What the fuck happened?

A dry and smirking Josh was waiting for me as I swam toward the side and slapped my soggy hat back on my head. I hadn't lost my sunglasses although a set of windscreen wipers wouldn't have gone astray. "That's payback for my dunking," he said as he extended a hand and hauled me up. When I stood dripping beside him, he leaned in and said, "It's her dad you pillock."

My jaw dropped and my lip curled in disgust. Ewwww.

"She calls him daddy?" My voice reached a pitch only discernible to the neighbourhood dogs. If the band ever decided to add any falsetto vocals to a song, I'd have us covered. I couldn't tear my eyes off Willow and the big fella. Who the hell was this guy? He was copping a beating if he didn't stop hugging my wife. Pronto. To paraphrase Ivan Drago, if I died . . . I died.

Josh looked at me like I was a nutjob. "No dimwit, she doesn't call him daddy." I could have done without his sarcastic finger quotes. "She calls him dad. He's her dad you dumb fuck."

I slumped in relief. Their matching fiery locks should have tipped me off but somehow the difference in their sizes had thrown me. Willow was teensy-tiny next to that giant. He was built like a brick shit house. No joke. I bet anyone who'd ever told him that gingers are evil found out just how evil a ginger can be.

"Right. Yes. Of course he is. How do you know?"

Josh rolled his eyes at me and gave me another one of those you-stupid-fuck looks. "Because she called him dad just before she attacked him. Plus look at them, it's the hot ginge family."

"You think Willow's hot?"

Josh glanced around without moving his head. When he spotted Lenka posing and preening on a sunlounge on the other side of the pool as if a photographer was snapping pics – there was no photographer – he relaxed and leaned in as he replied, "Yes dickhead, your wife is hot. And if anything was going to convince me that the two of you were sneaking around behind everyone's backs it's you not recognising her father. Mate, you could have at least asked to see a picture of her family."

"Mate, we have much more interesting things to do than flip through the family photo albums." I grinned broadly as he rolled his eyes in disgust.

My grin was as much for having my best friend back as it was in amusement at my own joke. Josh and I'd had a serious conversation where I'd apologised for sneaking around on him. That was genuine. After all, Willow and I showing up married was a surprise to everyone, even ourselves.

He'd informed me he was concerned that I'd married someone he'd never even met and that he was hurt he didn't get to be my best man.

I'd pointed out, managing to keep a firm rein on the snark, that I'd invited him to Vegas and that he'd been busy with Lenka. I'd also pointed out that it wasn't the first time he'd thrown me over for one of his model girlfriends.