Time To Die

Chapter 4 - Dark Days

Dear Diary,

I'm confused... I awake each day with no feelings, no dreams, no emotions... I killed people, like it was nothing, feeling no remorse, no guilt. I'm not even frightened by the consequences of being caught. What is wrong with me? This is so not normal, although Marie seems to think it's somehow cool, I don't think she has fully thought it through. We are two oddballs that are truly bound by friendship, and now murder... Hmmm writing all this down is probably not a good idea either, one sure fire way to get caught... Hmmm fire. This will be my last entry before the flames engulf my words.

Jet looks onward, deep into the reflection of herself in the mirror.

"For Christ's sake your nearly forty woman" I look young but I feel old, my mind is a mess, a contradiction of everything in life. What is emotion? What is love? They say actions speak louder than words, but what if you have actions with no feelings? Words are empty, but actions are hollow. I wish so much for my health to be improved, yet it never seems to change, every step I try to make better only retreats three steps backwards. Hospitals, Counselling, Specialists and Doctors. No one makes anything better, even a multitude of medications can't put me right. "What is wrong with me?" Marie was right though, there are plenty of people that have wronged me in life, and the way I feel right now I could happily kill them all, but one name sprung to mind. Matt Fielding.

Matt was perfect. One of many failed, short lived relationship attempts, only this guy was a real piece of work. Not that I knew it at the time, but he turned out to be a master manipulator, a complete narcissist, drug abusing alcoholic. Each day spiralling into an intoxicating world of heroin and booze, topped off with any legal pharmaceuticals he could get his hands on. "He scares me... He is next." With those words Jet picked up the diary snapping it shut, and headed off into the garden where a previously prepared fire pit stood central, pouring some lighter fluid over the book she began to set the pages alight, throwing the whole thing into the sticks and kindling that instantly caught light. "Goodbye." She whispered, watching the flames dance around. This would take lots of thought and planning, but no pens or paper. It was video call time, if anyone could come up with ideas it was Marie. How? What? Where? And When?... Hmmm she thought as she began to dial her number.

"Helloha how are you? What can I do you for?" Marie asked.

"Stressing (laughs) I need some ideas bouncing, are you on your own? I have decided who's next."

"Ooooo. Let me make a brew and roll a smoke, and I will be right with ya. Let me guess. Is it Matt by any chance? Because he would be my first choice."

"No way! It actually is."

"I knew it would be haha. I thought about it last night and came to the conclusion that if anything, that evil, dirty little scrote deserves to die. Although if you ask me, we could just beat the shit out of him and leave him where he lays, people will just think drug addicts did it."

Matt Fielding was a forty one year old Heroin addict, with the charm and mysticism of the best. He could literally sell ice to an Eskimo, and charm his way into any girl's pants with talk of ancient wisdom, mystical stories and smooth talk. However in the world of the living this guy was a ghost. Anonymous socials, cryptic names, and constantly moving home.

"So ok, we start with the question. How do we find the ghost?" Jet well happy that Marie was totally on board with this.

"Only way we can find him, wait and see." She laughs. "He's always hanging around town or at the chemists for his medications. I'm actually going to have to do some surveillance on this one, and that's quite hard considering how I look. There is tons of CCTV in town, and at the chemists."

"Let me do it." Marie said bright eyed and bushy tailed, like a small kid at Christmas. "No one knows me or what I look like round there, I can suss him out for you."

"Hmmm ok. So what's the plan if and when we find him?"

"Once a dirty addict always a dirty addict. We hot shot him. Wait for him to get home and take his stuff, then when he's out of it, stick him with the rest."

"You really have given this some thought." She laughs hard.

"You have seen him cook up and take it before, so all we have to do is copy that. Right?"

"I guess so yeah. How do we judge how much to give him? How much heroin kills someone?" You see we don't know these facts. I can't just Google it"

"All of it!" She laughs wildly. "If he's bought brown for the week on payday, we wait till he's had his dose, then we hot shot him with the rest."

"I love the way you say that so calmly and without a thought. Although that plan may actually work. So I take it you're doing surveillance, and lookout?" Jet is now laughing at the thought.

"Yeah I'm up for this. I'm going to watch him and his crackhead mates for a week, then we will know the ins and outs of when it is best to strike. I shall start by following him home, so we know where the current crack den is he's living at. He's never too far from the chemists." Both now laughing at the fact that all this seemed so easy.

"You do realise there is no going back from this. Once done it makes you an accomplice to... Oh fuck... I'm technically a serial killer."

"Life is shit right now for everyone, so I have no regrets. You killed Shell and she deserved it, so I'm with you on this one. Matt deserves to die. The guy thinks he's God and above everyone else, he's hurt so many people along the way, so many good people have died and yet that scumbag still lives, he's a waste of oxygen."

"You're totally right Hun. You do your thing, and I will work out the rest, we can discuss it in a few days. Good luck." Both exchanging blown kisses and goodbyes. The plan was in place.

One week later – The phone rings. It's Marie.

"Hey Hun, how are you?" Jet answered.

"Sooooooo I got all the info we need. I got an address; Tuesday is payday, all the crackheads go out at once to collect the money around 10am. Matt is the first one to get home, we have about an hour's window till the next bunch return. I looked through the window, he's pretty out of it for most of that time, and all the stuff we need is in a shoe box under his bed."

"Wow you really did a thorough job at this, well done. I have made up some herbal fast release poison to go in the mix, and a hypodermic syringe. Half and half should do it."

"Well it's Thursday now so we have time to wait, I assume you are heading to the club for deliveries, and set up."

"Yeah I am just getting my stuff ready as we speak, it's payday weekend so going to be a mad one, I will be well knackered when I get home."

"Well rest up well Monday as Tuesday is going to be busy." She said laughing.

"Right well on that note my lift is here, so I shall say goodbye and I will see you Tuesday."

"It's a date." The phone hangs up, as a car horn can be heard from outside. Jet grabs her gear and heads for work.