Falling || LK

CHAPTER 1: Teardrops (2011)

It was mid-December and the weather in Seoul was really cold. Fourteen year old Lisa, who was used to the warmth of her home country, Thailand, put on multiple layers of clothes. She added a hat and a face mask that would keep her cute chubby cheeks warm, and headed out of the YG building. She didn't know where she was going, she just knew she needed to disappear for a little bit. It's been quite some time since she moved to South Korea, but she still couldn't make that sharp feeling of loneliness disappear. Becoming a K-Pop idol, that was her dream. What was she even thinking? She missed her family so much. She missed her mum's warm hugs and the tasty food her dad made with love for her. The Cafeteria at YG sucked. Everything sucked. The cold breeze hit her round face as she was walking, and her eyes teared up. Perhaps she was crying even before that?

Lisa never cried in the dorms in front of the other girls. Never let anyone see your weakness, her mom always said. Sometimes, late at night she would hide under the blankets and cry quietly into her pillow, or she would go to the bathroom and let her tears escape in the shower. That way, when her face was red, she could just say it was from the hot water. It was a great excuse, which Jennie advised her to use. Jennie was her only friend there. The girl who accepted Lisa from day one and always scared away anyone who dared to be anything but kind to her. She protected Lisa as if she was her younger sister. Jennie was like an older sibling which she never had. Being a foreigner can be tough sometimes, but being the only foreign girl in the company, where you have to compete every day for a spot to hopefully shine one day is even tougher. One would think that people would admire a person who beat almost two thousand contestants and earned a spot as the first foreign trainee of YG Entertainment. Sadly, the reality was the complete opposite. Every day Lisa was met with looks and stares that sent chills down her spine. Eyes of snakes that made her want to disappear.

Lisa smiled through her tears. That's why she aced every evaluation. She was not a quitter, she was a winner, and she would earn their respect no matter how long it takes. Her smile slowly faded away. What if she couldn't achieve it? She had always believed the stage was where she belonged. Ever since she was a little girl, she would perform for her family, pretending to be a star, wanting to become a star. At the end of day, that's why her mom signed her up for dancing classes. Winning competitions here and there was her hobby. She knew she was good. No, she was great. Her muscle memory was exceptional and the execution of every dance move she made was perfect. Lisa was a dancing queen. She would always be one. She sighed. Did she make a mistake by coming here? Maybe she should've stayed at home and become a dance teacher. Travel around the world teaching dance classes to those who loved it as much as she did. Lisa took her phone out of her pocket. It was almost midnight. She knew she should go back to the dorms, but she had decided to go to the park instead. Her head was still full of unsorted thoughts, so she wouldn't be able to fall asleep anyways. Besides that, it's not like anyone cared where she was. Okay maybe Jennie did, but she told her that she was heading out for a walk to clear her mind right before she left. Lisa looked at her hands. They were starting to turn purplish and she was losing the ability to move her fingers. She quickly stuffed her hands into the pockets of her padded jacket. That should keep them at least a little bit warm.

As she reached her desired location, she sat on the benches and looked at the stars. Lisa had always admired the night sky. Something about it just always made her feel calm. Well, to be honest it wasn't just admiration, it was more of an obsession with the sky in general. Sunsets, sunrises, full moons... Yet, at this particular moment, her love for the stars didn't bring her the happiness and calmness she was longing for. For some reason, tonight, looking at the stars made her feel sadder. It made her think of her family, her friends, and everything she was going through. Why do stars look so close to each other, when in reality they are so far away? She was like one of those stars. In her heart she kept everyone close to her, while she was miles away from them.