Red Notice (2021 Thurber) Oneshots

Hard Hitting

After being captured and waking up in a dark room, Nolan finds out he's being held for ransom.

Being himself, he immediately begins to list of reasons on why no one is coming.

Little does he know that this is live.

•

The roughness of the rope around his hands seemed to chafe against his skin. Nolan knew he had been captured the moment he felt the hard object collide against the back of his skull, causing him to be knocked out.

It was simple, really. He was the closest available person that was thieving.

What great luck for him that he and the Bishops were scoping out one of the most important criminals in the worlds's houses.

He hoped the Bishops had gotten away safely and could continue to plan without him. Lord knows he'd be here awhile before he attempted to escape. It was always a great deal of fun to torment his captors back with his sarcasm and humor. They never really got close enough to do anything or had the drive to before he escaped.

He couldn't see anything, thanks to the blindfold covering his eyes, tied behind his head loosely. He knew it was only a few moments now until the criminal, Elliot Diamond, made his grand entrance and the entire scene went down.

Blah, blah, monologue, blah, blah, bickering, blah, blah, threats, and blah, blah, ransom.

Sure enough, he heard a wooden door creak open, and three sets of heavy foot steps enter the room.

A voice thick with an accent spoke, "remove the blindfold."

Nolan watched as the blindfold was pulled from his face rather roughly. Not cool. He spent an awful lot of time on his hair that morning, besides, he'd already been hit in the head, which still really hurt, by the way. He didn't need to have his hair messed up too.

Nolan's eyes landed right on Elliot Diamond's black ones, which seemed to absorb all the light around him, spiraling it into the dark abyss.

"Mr. Booth," Diamond said thoughtfully. "The second best art thief in the world, who is currently working with the Bishops. Interesting that you'd pick my residence as your next target. I can say that is rather nice to finally get to see your face, you know? Put to test the articles that have been written about you, see if you've lived up to them."

Nolan raised an eyebrow. "The pleasure is all mine. I'm always happy to meet...a fan," he said, gulping.

Diamond laughed, pulling out gloves. "A fan?" He mused. "No, no. I have very little patience for thieves, especially art thieves. They get on my nerves."

"Then you'll love me," Nolan supposed. "I'm rather good at getting on people's nerves. It's listed on my resume."

"I can see why people hate you," Elliot cut him off. "You never stop talking."

Nolan smiled widely. "Not while I'm awake."

(Wade Wilson fans, where you at? That was a reference to x-men origins: Wolverine's elevator scene in case you were wondering.)

"Nevertheless, I'm sure someone cares about you enough to pay a handsome amount of money for your return home," Diamond said, pulling out a pair of black gloves.

Nolan shifted in his chair, his hands twisting in the rope. He felt himself choke slightly as he bit down a laugh.

"Now, who might that be?" Diamond asked, putting on his gloves. "Any thoughts come to mind?"

At that moment, Nolan let out a breathless laugh. "Please!" He scoffed. "You think there are people who'd want to pay money for me to come bother them? I already do it for free, besides, no one cares about me. There's a million reasons why, I can list them if you'd like."