let the stars align

the stars in the sky.

the blanket brushes the grass, as gravity pulls it down. i gently sit down in the big field of emptiness, slowly falling back to look up at the stars. i let a breath of air out, as i sink farther towards the core of the earth. i think about where else i could be, if there was any other place i would want to be. but it is unimaginable. the stars in the sky, so far away, were my home. i don't want to leave, but i grasp the fact that i have to. the dream of staying here, forever, slips out of my fingers, as it gets later and later.
once it hits 12:37am, i realize i should head back to my house, hoping the arguing is done by now. i pick up the soft blanket, taking one last glance at the stars as i wander back through the tall grass. my mind wanders, just like i am, as to what college will be like. why do i have to leave the home, that i have been so comforted by, in the nothingness? just to get a degree, that i might not even use? to find "friends" so i won't be lonely? i feel as though, i am less alone with the stars and planets in the sky looking down on me, more than i ever could with actual humans.
i finally reach the end of my driveway, and i shut my thoughts away to listen for any arguing that could be going on in the house. i wait for a minute, hoping for the best. and once the minute ends, and it's completely silent, i find myself up the front steps and creaking the door open quietly. i don't think there is a reason to wake up the arguing couple, who probably just had fallen asleep. i place the blanket on the bench in the mud room, slide my lilac crocs off, and cautiously saunter up the stairs. i roll onto my bed, looking out the skylight window on my ceiling.
my brain races, glancing to all the bins packed up, and all the childhood memories i'll be leaving behind. but, i tell myself there's a silver lining. i won't have to listen to the angry couple, sleeping in the room below me, argue every night. and i don't have to pretend to be someone else anymore. everyone at college won't know me, i can start fresh, on the other side of the state. i can be happy with who i am, no stress of who i was in high school.
my alarm clock says 1am, so i shift my eyes back to the skylight and let my eyes drift to sleep.

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well hi! i'm really hoping this first chapter lets you guys get interested in what i'm hoping to achieve :) i have high hopes for this story and i know this first chapter isn't much, but i don't want to rush into fast and burn out.
anyway, enjoy the reading, and thank you :,)