let the stars align

trusting the stars.

my alarm clock blares, at 8:30am. i slowly open my eyes, the tender sunlight warming my face. i blankly stare at the white puffy clouds through my skylight. i throw my blanket off my body, and stretch out of bed. my feet reach the cold wood floor, and i remember that today is move-in day.
i groan as my mom knocks and opens the door, "who's ready for college!"
"not me," i mumbled, grabbing the outfit i'd picked out a week before. i'm nervous out of my mind. i wouldn't tell her that, of course, she'd then make it a bigger problem than it is. i just want to be back to last night, looking up at the constellations that make me feel so safe.
i can feel her staring at me, she opens her mouth for a moment, before shutting it and walking down the hall. i sigh lightly, wishing i wasn't so distressed about moving to college. i get away from my parents, i tell myself, this is good for me.
after i get dressed, i brush my light blonde hair and i leave it down. i look... good. a lot better than i have for the last couple weeks of the summer. i stride down the stairs, and i hold onto the fact that i'm feeling better about this. the aroma of chocolate chip pancakes fills my nose as i make my way to the kitchen. my last breakfast with my parents.
"good morning dad," i murmured. he looked up from the pancake on the stove, "well good morning sweetheart!" glad to know that someone is happy this morning.
i throw myself onto the stool next to the island, and he turns around and throws a big plate of chocolate chip pancakes with butter and whip cream in front of me. i giggle at the sight of it, "thanks dad." he smiles back at me, saying you're welcome but with no words. i dig in, after grabbing a fork and a knife. and these pancakes are making my morning so much better.
my mom walks in, looks between the both of us, and softly smiles. she opens the fridge, grabbing the chocolate milk, "would you like some?"
"sure mom, thanks," i giggled again. i think i'm gonna be okay.
——
an hour later, the car is packed and i'm taking one last look around my room. i think i'm ready for this, the change might be good. i look up to the skylight, wishing it could come with me. i'm scared that i'll lose sight of the stars once i get to college. but, in the back of my head, i have this feeling that the sky is what i trust in. it's what i come back to, if there's nothing else. it'll always be there, i thought as i sighed.
here it goes. i trudge out of my room, heading the door click behind me. i get teary-eyed, but i blink the tears back. i'll be perfectly okay. it's a new beginning.
——
my subaru crosstrek pulls into the well-funded school. i drive up the windy driveway, and pull into the parking garage once i pass the science building. i walk up the road, after i park, over to the registration office. i go through all the professional things, they give me the key to my dorm. i take the short walk back to my car, and grab a box and a suitcase from my trunk. then i walk across the street to my dorm building, i go up the elevator after finding what floor i'm on, and wander my way down the hallway. this happens dozens of more times, until all of my things are cluttered in my room.
i lay down on the unmade bed, and take a deep breath. i'm doing okay so far. i'm on my own, and i'm okay. i sit there for a minute, kind of wishing there was a skylight above me. i sigh, and pick myself up. this dorm isn't gonna sort it self.
after a couple hours of organizing, and reorganizing, i allow myself to go to the campus dining hall. i step outside and the moist air hits me right in the face. i take a breath and stroll down the sidewalk. after a couple minutes, i reach the double doors of the dining hall, and i step inside. instead of moist air, the cold air from the ac sends a chill down my arms. goosebumps start to form and i smile to myself. i start to wander around to the buffet and i hit shoulders with someone. i hear something hit the floor, and i look down and it was their plate.
"oh my god, i'm so sorry. i was not paying attention, let me get you that for you. i totally did not mean to bump into you. i guess i just forgot that there are other people here, i was just thinking and i'm so sorry," i apologized profusely. after i pick up the plate, i stand back up. and i come face to face with a charming, but mysterious looking guy.
he smirks, "oh, it's alright. i wasn't paying attention either. i think i got distracted looking at how gorgeous you are, i didn't even realize how close i was to you."
     i shyly smile, as i look away nervously. i haven't had anyone compliment me since junior year of high school. i guess i closed myself off, romantically.
     "i'm nova," i smile, reaching out my hand. he gives me the most genuine smile, "and i'm at atlas."
     if only i had known, what path introducing each other would have taken me on.