Theoretically Speaking

Chapter Four

Chapter 4

Hi cutie let’s get naked

     Sent: mrfresh12 9:26am

Hey. My name’s Iain. I read your profil and I’d like to know more about you. Feel free to message me :)

     Sent: IainNapp 9:30am

Nice teeth. Clean.

     Sent: DannyRocket 11:13am

Hey. My name’s Iain. I read your profil and I’d like to know more about you. Feel free to message me :)

     Sent: IainNapp 4:55pm

Hello, my beautiful princess. I was wondering if you would not mind having a conversation with me. I am a very interesting person, I can assure you. I have a good heart. I simply do not have a lot of experiences with people of the opposite sex. I am not quite sure why, but maybe we could discuss this over dinner.

I grimaced. Gosh. Were people actually serious? The last message went on and on for three more paragraphs, as Joe9824 went on to explain to me his take on his unsuccessful love life, which had been going on for the last twenty years. He was now forty.

“I like MrFresh,” Brooke said, leaning over my shoulder. I caught her trying to hide her grin. “He’s bold. Goes for what he wants.”

“He’s a perv, and what he wants is to get in my pants.” My eyes fell back to the screen. “There’s not even any punctuation,” I mumbled. I scrolled down, highlighting Iain’s message. “Iain sounds okay.”

She snorted, heading to the kitchen. “You do know that he just copied and pasted that same message to probably fifty other girls?” I re-read his messages, both with the same typos, then followed Brooke. The living room was now clear of all boxes, though she’d now placed them in the dining room. I stepped over a pile of books.

“Okay, maybe he did, but,” I said, pointing to his message, “he still seems nice.”

She placed her hardboiled egg under some cold water. “What’s not nice about MrFresh?”

“The fact that he’s only looking to devirginize me.”

“Devirginize?” She broke the eggshell and raised her brows. “Really?”

I rolled my eyes, walking over to the island. I hoisted myself on one of the stools and placed my laptop in front of me. The dating site was still opened. Beside me was a pad of post-its on which I scribbled Iain’s name as the first prospect. “Listen, I’m not expecting love or anything. But Brooke, my perfect match is out there. Iain might be it.”

“Or DannyRocket.”

I laughed. Perhaps someone focusing on my ‘nice, clean teeth’ wasn’t exactly my perfect match. “You get my point. Once I find my perfect match, then I’ll think about falling in love. It’s the most rational way to approach this. Trust me. Compatibility, then love.”

“What happened to Vince?” She joined me at the island with her egg and a glass of milk. She angled the laptop toward her, scrolling down my list of messages. Every few minutes, it grew.

“Well, it would help if I could find him. Since I can’t, I’m putting that plan on hold for a bit. I need to focus all my planning on the G&M interview anyway.”

She took a bite of the egg and clicked on the next message. “Check out this guy. Hutch. ‘Hi, babe. I have a feeling we could do great things together. Here’s my number. Call me.’” She and I exchanged glances before reading his short profile and browsing through his pictures. His listed height was five twelve. He attended the same college as Daniel, and his looks easily rivaled Daniel’s. Hutch had a long and narrow face that was evened out with his sharp jaw. His long brown hair was pushed back in most pictures, his deep set eyes a lovely brown. His smile was to die for – it was a seductive curl of his lips that could lure any girl in.