On A Night Like This

Chapter Eleven

-Dylan-

After a few days, Dylan was starting to get used to Jayce's body being wrapped around him as they slept. They hadn't talked about it, but Jayce probably assumed it was Dylan's way of staying true to his word that he didn't have a problem with gay men. The truth was that Dylan would never have pushed Jayce away.

He craved the contact of another human. He wanted to reach out to Jayce. He wanted to feel Jayce's touch, but he didn't know how to ask for it. Before, when no one ever touched him, he'd known he wanted affection and physical contact. But wanting it and not knowing how it felt was completely different from experiencing it, wanting it again, and not knowing how to get it. Feeling Jayce's body against his, Jayce's arms around him - it was going to break him. It was too much and not enough all at the same time.

Maybe it was weird to want another man's touch. He hadn't ever thought about his sexuality and had just assumed he was straight, but that didn't mean much when no one wanted to date him or even be around him. He wasn't sure if he liked men or if he liked Jayce or if he just liked having a friend. Right now, everything was confusing.

The one thing he was sure of is that Jayce didn't want him. Jayce shared the bed with him out of necessity and wrapped his body around Dylan's as another way to keep warm. It was survival for Jayce, and nothing more.

He would never ask what Jayce thought of him. He didn't want to know. Didn't want to hear that he was too big, too scary, too ugly. What he needed to do was put all of this out of his mind and focus on being a friend to Jayce.

Frustrated, he picked up one of the logs near the cabin and hefted it onto his shoulder, wincing immediately. Whenever he had to move logs around, his right shoulder always cramped and got sore. He knew he could have asked Jayce to help with the logs, but he didn't want Jayce to get hurt.

A tree had fallen a day ago, and he'd spent the morning chopping it into logs to store under the cabin. Some of the wood could be used this year, before he had to go back to town, but the rest could be saved for next year. The reminder that he'd have to go back to town in a few weeks soured his mood even further. Winthrop was nice enough, and he liked the cabin he owned there, but he wasn't ready to be around people again. He wasn't ready for the constant stares whenever he was out in public.

Once all the logs were stored under the cabin, he went inside. His shoulder was killing him, and he wanted to sit down with some hot tea and rest. He hoped that he'd be feeling better enough to knit in the evening. Before Jayce left, he wanted to give him the scarf he was making. Friends gave each other things, and he wanted something for Jayce to remember him by.

-Jayce-

When he heard the door open and the sound of Dylan stamping his boots to knock off the snow, he pulled his gaze away from the book in his hands. He smiled at Dylan and held up Beauty and the Beast.

"I moved on to this book. I hope you don't mind. It seemed like a more exciting choice than your environmental disaster book," Jayce said.

"That's fine. Read whatever you want."

To tell the truth, he had spent more time watching Dylan through the window of the cabin than reading. Dylan effortlessly lifting big logs onto his shoulder was hot. He knew Dylan was just doing what was needed to live out here, but seeing a huge, rugged man display his strength made Jayce's mind wander. He was attracted to Dylan, and that attraction was increasing with each day, especially now that Dylan was being friendlier to him. Friendly by Dylan's standards, at least.

As Dylan stood near the stove and waited for water to boil, Jayce noticed he was rubbing the space between his shoulder and neck, and his face was set in a grimace.