Lost In This World of $in

five.

"Just stop Ken. Leave me alone & let me be." I spoke shaking my head.

"Your not leaving me Janae." He spoke as he stopped in front of me.

He grabbed the forearm of my left arm and gently tugged me towards him. Causing the jeans to fall out of my hands.

"Dont touch me." I screamed pulling away immediately.

"I'm sorry Janae. It was a mistake. I shouldn't have been around her in the first place. I was wrong. And I beat myself up about it everyday. I didn't face you about it because I didn't want what's happening right now to happen period. Regardless of all this please don't ever question my love for you. I love you Janae, damn. Know that. Don't forget it. I'm crazy bout you, Nae. And not on no fufu wild shit, but I'm not letting you leave me. I'll never be able to forgive myself if I let you walk out that door. Don't give up on me. You talking like I just flat out disrespect you, and that ain't the fucking case. Stop turning shit into something bigger then it is, Nae. I can admit when I'm wrong, and then I was wrong. But stop making it seem like I'm just some fucked up terrible ass person when I'm not."

"How would you feel if I stayed out late like this again. How would you feel if I fucked my ex after I told you he wasn't a problem. And then you got the nerve to say I'm making shit bigger then what it is. I fucking hate you right now Kendrick and I'm leaving this house with or without your approval."

He grabbed me again and held me close to him. After a failed attempt at pulling away from him I stood there defenseless and motionless.

My crying ceased completely as he held me tightly enough to where I couldn't move but not too tight to the point that he was smothering me.

Trapped in his arms, I paused my thoughts as Ken cradled his head in my neck. I began to hear soft sniffles as he held me even tighter.

"I'm sorry baby. I'm sorry. I fucking love you Janae don't do this." He spoke looking up at me as tears fell down his face slowly.

Our gazes locked as he looked down at me with pleading eyes. Mines on the other hand held a state of shock. In our 22 years of living I've only seen him cry twice. Make right now the second.

Ken ain't the one for expressing his emotions and feelings. Out of all the things we've been through I don't blame him for his rough & tough exterior.

In a way were just alike when it comes to opening up about stuff. That's why it just hit me hard right now to see him cry. He don't do that shit at all, ever! And believe it or not I dont cry like that either.

Its just that with Ken I expect more from him in a lot of ways such as loyalty for the simple fact that I've never fucked him over.

So when he does shit like cheat, or just fuck me over period. It brings me to a weak place where it seems like crying is the only thing that'll help.

We stood there together holding each other as tears slowly ran down the both of our faces. In one swift movement he scooped me up into his arms. His hands cuffed my ass nicely as he carried me to the bed.

Laying me down smoothly he quietly hovered over me. Reaching up I wiped his fallen tears as he wiped mine. He gently sat me up against the headboard and began to unzip my dress from the back.

After successfully unzipping it he slid it down and threw it somewhere across the room. He then took his gym shorts off leaving him in just his Ralph Lauren Boxer's.

Looking down over my body his jaws began to flex as he stared at me with a mean glare. "Nae, how the fuck you gon put on my favorite thong just to go find you ''a new nigga?" He spoke angrily.