Looking Up

Chapter 2

I wake up to Cardi B rapping about how she's sure some other girls are nice enough, but she's sure he needs someone to spice it up. Hitting snooze, I roll my eyes. How cliche.

    Then the events of the previous day float into my mind and I find myself smiling up at my cracked ceiling. Going through my morning routine seems even more tedious, my mind unable to focus on anything other than him.

    I don't remember the walk to work having been lost in thought the entire way. Then being a coward, I chicken out of my morning coffee. Maybe that's why I'm ready to burst at lunch. Cam covers for me while I hide in the back stocking the pop sockets and cheap cases. Closing time seems to inch closer and closer and I get more and more impatient.

    Finally I rush through the doors into the chilly air. I'm standing in front of the Bean Shop before I know it, and my heart is beating fast. It's just your speed walking. You aren't feeling anything new. Love isn't...

    I pull open the glass door and smile at the ground as I spot Roman making a latte at one of the machines, his back to me. I blush at the muscles rippling through his uniform white t-shirt. I clear my throat, glancing around at all the art done by locals and sold here.

    "What can I get you?" Roman asks, turning around. I can't tell if I'm imagining his face lighting up when he spots me, but I brush it off and list off my order. The same as the day before. Only stuttering once.

    "That'll be right up, Cailin." My breath hitches at his deep voice speaking my name. I sit in a stool a little closer than last time, raising an eyebrow as I form a plan in my head. One of the other baristas places my drink in front of me and I thank them distractedly, digging in my little backpack for a pen. My search is successfulso I slip the napkin out from under my cup and start writing my name with my number underneath. Placing a few dollars in tip on top of the napkin, I make sure Roman sees it before I carefully exit.

    I'm smiling the whole walk home and I can't help but to wonder what has gotten into me. Do I have a crush? Is that even possible? I haven't felt this way since Brice, and even with him, it didn't feel as right. "Maybe that's because he broke your heart, took advantage of you, and left for a girl with longer legs and a prettier face." I snap at myself, too upset that I have ruined my mood to care about the people walking past with concerned looks on their faces. Everyone in this city is too nice.

    I practically skip down the hall to my dirty apartment, and upon entering I see the familiar pile of trash and dishes on the end tables, the clothes thrown across the floor, and the dishes piled up in front of the sink. Today, instead of adding to them, I frown, disgusted that I let myself get this lazy.

    I skip to my room, changing into a white tank and some black athletic shorts before diving into the task of cleaning my home.

I carry at least 5 bags of trash to the dumpster outside. (Thank god I live on the first floor.) I'm already tired by the time I pack a few boxes of old clothes into my neighbor's car, Susan volunteering to donate them for me. I'll have to bake her some cookies as a thank you. I slowly walk back into my apartment, growing restless while I lie on the couch, attempting to take a nap. But I can't sleep. I need a distraction from my actions earlier today and the half-clean living room is eating at me. I can't figure out why, it's never bothered me before. Then again, I've never felt this alive before.

    Three hours later and I'm elbow deep into a sink full of soapy water, washing my last plate before placing it on the drying mat. The shiny white surface reflects a faint outline of my flushed face, my mouth moving to sing along to the Disney playlist I have blaring from my phone on the counter behind me.

    Exhausted I dry my hands, letting the water drain out of the sink. There's something soothing about watching the drain swallow up all the grime that was floating in the water just a few seconds before. I slip off my shorts and tank, placing them in my full hamper.

    "I'll have to do the laundry tomorrow." I mumble to myself, slipping into my cool sheets in nothing but my underwear. Comfortable and drained, I drift to sleep, forgetting all about the day's events and dreaming about a pair of bright, intelligent, sky blue eyes.