MiTake | All I Want |

Twoshot [ 1 ]

' Takemichi, your hand is...so warm. '

I woke up, the house was empty and cold as ice.  I tried to feel, the warmth of Takemichi's hand in that dream was like smoke that just passed and disappeared.  I tried reaching out to grab it, but nothing happened. 

Dreams still haunt me.  I really don't know if it's virtual or real. 

I guess, it's virtual because I had never had a relationship with a person named Takemichi. 
But I wanted to meet him, I wanted to get to know him, I wanted to feel if his warmth was similar with those in my dreams.  But then I stopped.  What if it was just a dream of my own?  I can't drag him into my dark world. 

I'm a coward.  I'm not brave enough to look for him. 

My whole life I have been suffering, perhaps ...

My brother was killed by my best friend, Kazutora.  I broke up the gang because of a quarrel. Then, I lost my second best friend - Draken.  My third best friend - Baji was also killed.  It was Kazutora who killed him.  Therefore I took revenge.  The first time I killed someone, I didn't feel anything.  Everything was so empty and typical and I thought that maybe difficulties of this world can be fixed with murder.

Mitsuya, another close friend of mine was dead.  He was dead due to protecting the Hakkai sisters from Taiju.  He was killed.  I wanted to take revenge but that guy was killed by Yuzuha - and Hakkai took the blame on his sister's behalf.  Oh, another member had left Touman.  One person after the others just left.  Chifuyu was shot dead, brothers Smiley and Angry were beaten to death, Penya was slashed to death... Touman was slowly losing its brothers.  And I kept falling into a cycle of death - taking revenge with no way out.

Until the death of Emma, I suddenly realized that there's apparently no one around me anymore. 

Empty and isolation, I could feel that the world seemed to be rejecting me little by little.  And how strange it was, I felt happy instead of sadness?  Was I still a human?  I couldn't know, anyway. 

Then, I shifted the blame on Izana and Kisaki.  It was because of them that I lost my beloved sister, my dear friends.  I killed Kisaki.  I couldn't kill Izana, I only had this one brother left even though we're not blood related.  If I had killed him too, I would have nothing left. 

However , in the deep of my heart , I know the truth .  The cause of this consecutive array of tragedies was me.  If I hadn't let my dark instinct take over me, the tragedy wouldn't have happened.  If I hadn't spent time, the world would be a better place. 

- ' oi, Manjirou!!! Just say it once, just say "please help me" damn it , Manjirou ! '

- please help me, Takemitchy . 

I spoke, the sound echoed throughout the house.  I suddenly woke up, it was just a dream of mine.  The truth is, no one would save me cause ... I'm lonely. 

I wanted to meet Takemichi , that thought burned again like never before . 

That's why I went looking for him. 

Like a bucket of cold water poured in and forcefully extinguished the fire in me, I stood silently looking at Takemichi.  He was there, happily hugging Hinata.  They were married, and on his side he still had a beautiful plump little girl. 

Takemichi was very happy .  This is the truth that I should accept, that those dreams were only virtual, I had never met Takemichi, had him by my side and would never have him by my side.  Takemichi and I were living in two different worlds, I couldn't devastate his happiness.