MiTake | All I Want |

[ 2 ]

Lately, I'd been more and more afraid to wake up. Because when I woke up, I was afraid I would see that ice-cold house again and realize that I was just an entity. I was scared one day, when I opened my eyes, everything would be gone and only me would stand back and watch.

I was really tired, I just wanted to sleep deeply without having to wake up again.

I went to the Philippines, to that old junkyard. Under the suffocating gray sky, countless scraps were stacked sky-high on the ruins, something was calling me here. I lay down among the scraps. Cumbersome and so bitter that be uncomfortably. But it seemed that my mind was colder than that, they were quite warm to me. I wondered who was this now . Was it Dark Instinct or me? Who was lying here, now? I didn't know . As soon as I lay down here, the two seemed to become one like a roaring wave but quickly soft, everything suddenly became very calm. I remembered the past, I missed my brother, I missed Ema, I missed the time when I used to fight with the kids every day. Crying together, laughing together, everyone understood each other. Such a Touman , so nostalgic.

I put the barrel of the gun in front of my heart. I would end everything here .

Burbling, burbling.

The sound of rolling blood seemed to become clear in my ears. My eyes was gradually fading away as I was hallucinating. Otherwise, why was I seeing my brother and Ema smiling at me? I saw familiar close friends standing there, they were calling me to come closer. But I dared not go. Was it not me who caused their deaths?

' Let's go with us '

The hand was being put in front of me looked so familiar. Takemichi was standing there, calling me. I looked at him and reached out my hand and thought that the illusion wasn't that bad either.

I turned my gaze to the sky. It was a light blue, and clouds like candies were passing by. I reached out my hand, feeling like I could hold it in the palm of mine.

- Takemichi, look at this. The sky today... so beautiful, isn't it ?

Everything in front of my eyes was gently turning black. I closed my eyes, letting myself fall asleep in a dream.

Hopefully, this time I fall asleep, I will have a nice dream.

And hopefully no one will wake me up again.

- Daddy? Why are you crying?

The pretty little girl was reaching out her hand to rub her father's face while innocently asking. Takemichi bewilderedly touched his face. It was stained with tears. He whimpered slightly, hugging his daughter tightly in his arms.

- Nothing. It only seems like ... I've just lost something very important.

END

13/1/2022