Algernon Black || The Rise of a God ||

(Chapter 154) The Prince's Relief

"He still hasn't come out," Beal whispered, outside Loy's cabin aside Cal and Marve. They had been keeping tabs ever since the night of the ball where Loy had returned to the ship just to lock himself away, not even coming out for food. Marve knew Loy wasn't recovering from any physical injuries but something much harder to heal. According to Selice, he had lost all control of himself in a savage ambush. Had truly lost his mind as all he acted on was blind murderous rage that ended in the deaths of countless people. What Marve could figure out only because of his own experiences with the madness of war was Loy isolated out of fear of himself. Of becoming once again that beast incapable of stopping himself. So far gone he probably didn't even remember his name. And to know that state existed meant there was a chance of it always coming back but no guarantee to come out of it.

"Do you think he died from hos injuries?" Cal casually asked.

"He died?" Beal asked back in a high-pitched panicked whisper.

Marve noticed Selice just rousing into view. He slapped Beal on the side of the head. "He didn't die." He geared his gaze on Selice. "He's just in need of some comfort."

He pushed the two away leaving the path to Loy's room clear for Selice. And hoped she'd be keen and kind enough to take advantage of it.

Selice had been debating what to do for days. The savage thing Loy had turned into kept her fearfully away. And part of her didn't want Loy aware of her anxiety towards him, because if he was already feeling like a monster, it wouldn't help to know she was thinking of him as one too. But Selice wasn't only thinking of that one memory of Loy, but a lifetime of shared memories, and as the week went on and Selice saw none of Loy, she started realizing that the only thing worse than seeing Loy as that demon in the ballroom was seeing none of him at all.

"Loy?" Selice cautiously called and opened his door.

"Get out," Loy ordered in a tone that nearly mimicked his kingly voice but lacked all its strength.

Selice froze, fidgeting with her hands. "Loy, I don't know what to do. I only know how to fix things, not people." She wasn't used to people breaking, especially not someone as strong as Loy.

Loy imagined himself as the devil that overcame his body. When all he was capable of was murder and devastation. That wasn't even a person anymore, that was a demon inside of him that was never too far from showing. The demon most of the world labeled him to be when they named him the psychotic prince. And as hard as he tried to overcome his brand, he had lived up to it in its complete monstrous entirety. "Not all people are worth fixing."

Selice's breath caught. It was the closest thing she had ever heard to Loy breaking. It broke her. "Fine."

Loy laid where he was, his back to Selice and drowning in fears that he wished would kill him when a sudden weight settled beside him.

Selice hugged him from behind. Her head pressed into his back to fit onto the small space left on the mattresses.

"Fine, Loy," Selice said. "Stay broken. You never were all too put together in the first place, but don't let it stop you from being you."

Loy felt Selice's hands shaking where they rested over his heart and clad a firm hand around hers.

"Selice." Loy sighed. "If you're going to climb into my bed I'm going to expect you to be naked next time."

Selice's body relaxed against him as she instantly frowned.

"You're so stupid, Loy," Selice said with enough anger to shake the mattress. "And your selfish and unreasonable, and you're always pulling me into your stupid whims." Selice's voice kept building. "Doing all of these troublesome and exhausting things without thinking of anyone else!" Selice's blood boiled as she nearly shouted. "You have more than just yourself to think about! What would happen to Etilia if something happened to you! What would happen to Devane? To Cal? To Beal? To me?" Selice asked as her eyes filled with tears. Even if she wasn't much of a people person, Loy took up that small part of her that was, and as small as it was it still felt like one of the most important ties she had to the world. A piece of her that was as important as one of the cogs in her machines, and without it, no matter how small the part, she wouldn't be able to function without him.

Loy was stunned by Selice's anger. He didn't even think Selice could get so upset when her emotions more often resembled the machines she worked on than any of a human. "Stupid, stupid, prince," Selice relentlessly repeated into his chest.

Loy waited patiently until she fell silent. "I'm sorry. I know I act recklessly and put myself in dangerous situations, and that's a hard thing to bear when you're the one relying on me to come back.It's unfair to you, and I understand if you want to stop this. To distance yourself from me instead of risking getting hurt by what comes with my actions."

Selice's gut lurched.

Loy looked down after long seconds of silence. Selice covered her mouth as her eyes opened with tears beginning to form and fall out.

"Selic-"

"Shut up Loy," Selice said, cutting him off. "Shut up and stop being logical! Stop being this strange, rational, thoughtful person! It's not you! You're just a stupid prince who does whatever he wants and acts on his own whims and doesn't think about anyone or anything else but himself. So act like it and stop being this Loy, who speaks so sadly, and hides away from the world instead of taking everything you want from it! Go back to being yourself already! So I can rely on you again."

Loy blanked. Reliable wasn't usually a moniker thrown at him, and he never thought he really wanted it, but hearing Selice say it created a special kind of pride, because there were people depending on him. An entire kingdoms worth.

Loy wiped at the water stains on Selice's check. "You must have been really worked up to cry like this."

Selice glanced away, embarrassed.

"I'll never be anything but selfish and reckless, and the newest threats will be worse than anything I've ever faced before, and I'm only going to go towards it," Loy said, flooding the pit of Selice's stomach in dread. It was something Loy had been contemplating since the attack. He had initiated a fight with Emora, and they would come to end it. Them and their artifact users. "But I'm not going anywhere without a fight." He smiled his lopsided grin. "Like anything could kill me anyways."

Selice reached up for Loy's hand and rested her own on top of it. It was still warm for now, and that's all that mattered.

"It does make me really happy to know that you could get this worked up over me," Loy added with his typical banter.

"Shut up, Loy," Selice responded, but it was half-hearted at best when undermined by her smile.

Loy stared down and raised Selice's chin up to look at him.

"I love you."  Loy watched as Selice's eyes burst open as wide as they could as she processed his confession. He noticed the exact second it does as Selice's face steams bright red like he just turned on one of her machines and she burrowed her face against his chest.

"Shut up, Loy."

Loy smiled all the same and hugged her closer.