Your heart beat-ON HOLD (imsorry)

Chapter 4

Few hours later, Iman sat by the bed of old Mrs. Abdullah , checking her blood pressure. The irony here. Her own blood pressure was shooting and hadn't returned to normal since the major woke up. But here she was giving lecture to Mrs Abdullah for skipping her medicines.

How many lies she had told that afternoon? Enough to lose count of them. In her defense, she had tried to be as honest and close to truth as possible. Her conscience was killing her.

She would have told him the truth that she wasn't his wife. That she had lied. But then Colonel had barged in with Dr Hayat.

There was no way she was confessing it in-front of Colonel who would have thrown her into jail for comprising the security and lying and God knows what. She couldn't go to jail just now. She had to look for her brother and look after Mustafa too. Though majority of his injuries had healed, still he needed someone to care for him. She was the someone.

He had promised her that he would forgive her. And he probably would. Since all her actions which may not be justified and she  wasnt trying to.....But they  were done for a good cause. So he would forgive her. Wouldn't he?

Also if it wasn't for her, Colonel would have probably plugged him out by now. Iman was trying to reason with herself. But no matter how many reasons she came up with , she couldn't get away from the guilt which was eating her inside.

"Mubarak ho , sister Shehnaz nay bataya k tumharay shouhar ko hosh agaya hai."( Congratulations, nurse Shehnaz told me that your husband is out of coma.) Mrs. Abdullah congratulated her pulling her out of her thoughts.

With a forced smile , she removed the inflatable rubber cuff of the sphygmomanometer from the patient's  arm. Everyone believed that he was her husband. When the news of her lie came out, she was going to suffer a lot. She didn't fear the damage that was going to come her way after that no. She feared the emotional damage that lie might cause to Mustafa. 

She had been thinking about her lies all day. She hadn't expected him to lose his memory. God, she had imagined him waking up . Asking her "Who the hell are you." And then she would explain to him and then he would help her and tell her about her brother. But everything was a mess. HE didn't remember. And she couldn't get herself to confess that she had lied.

Not now since he was under a lot of stress. But by the end of the week when he would be discharged and a lot stable both emotionally and physically, I'd tell him . Yes, I would. Because when he gets discharged , he'd surely figure the truth out. Lying about being his wife was one thing, taking him to her home pretending to be his wife was another.

All through her shift, she was lost. What was she going to tell him when he asked about the stuff which she had no idea of? She was dreading going back to his room. But at the same time, she wanted to sit on the sofa and tell him about all of what was bugging her like she used to do before.

There was just one slight problem. This time what bugged her wasn't the hospital staff ,or her senior, Dr. Amir or the gossiping nurses like Shehnaz baji or her missing brother. It was HIM and the fact that she had lied to him. 

He was a stranger who  didn't feel like a stranger. On what stage of loneliness and desperation she was that she  had developed this infatuation with a total stranger? Infatuation? No she was just alone. She wasn't infatuated.   

Sadness hits different when you have no one to share your sadness with.

"Mrs Abdullah your blood pressure is high like dollar rates these days. Why do you keep skipping the medicines?" Iman asked as she noted down her blood pressure of 210/120 on the patient record file which she held.

The lady flushed at her question. But didn't say a thing in her defense which was good for her. Because, Iman was under so much stress, she would have exploded on poor Mrs.Abdullah.

"Here are your medicines. Take them before dinner. I am warning you Mrs.Abdullah, if you skip them, I might have to change the nurse. You know nurse Shagufta, who got zero patience. She shoves the medicines down the throat. And have about zero gossips to share. It is going to be your loss." Iman told her sternly and Mrs. Abdullah nodded.