Tarlos at hard times

part 1

Tk pov
 
My parents wanted me to get help. I can see its hurting them that I don’t take care of my self. But its hard to do it when I don’t feel a reason to. I feel so down all the time. It’s mixed up with not knowing what I wanna do with my life and my ex leaving me for someone else. That one hurt like hell. I was so deep in love. I wanna say I hate him but I still have feelings for him. I am trying to get over him. But how can I when I don’t see me finding someone new. I see guys I like but nobody likes me back. I am not what people like. A broken guy who drinks and smokes. And is sweet and kind its to much for some people. I have dated some guys and most say I do to much sweet stuff that it becomes annoying. I just want my significant other to know I want them. It made me stop doing it.
I have problem trusting people. I am scared I will get hurt again. That they will turn on me and hurt me. I don’t wanna get hurt again. I don’t have any friends either. I had but all of them or most turned on me when they found someone better. Some just grew away from me. My parents put me to some Rehab center for teens with problems. I thought it was just for alcohol and stuff but it’s for a lot of different stuff. Like anxiety issues. I don’t have that. I am a little shy but not much. I have other issues.
 
My parent drove me to the place. I am staying for a while to my parents see me doing better. They will come and see me of course. They are not mean. They didn’t force me. They asked begging me to go. I could see they wanted me there really bad so I said yes went out of the car. Dad got my stuff. Mom hugged me good bye. They didn’t live together but they were together for me when I needed them both. I am glad I could at least have that. Dad hugged me too when he had gotten my stuff. I went in alone as I didn’t want them in there. I just didn’t feel like putting them in to my problems.
I was given a middle big room/small apartment. I kinda liked it. Being alone would be a difficult with my thoughts and stuff but from that I think it will be okay. I like that I can have control. They told me stuff and gave me some papers with info like they didn’t have time to tell me all of it. I didn’t care so I got my stuff out and put on my head phones. I turned on songs and danced a little while fixing my place with my stuff. The song made me wanna dance. I couldn’t stop it. I love music. I put my clothes in the wardrobe and changed the bed with my sheets. Because I wanted it to be mine. It felt weird to not have it. I put some posters on the wall. I got some candy I bought before coming. On the way in to the kitchen. I filled some water bottles with water and but it in the small fridge. So it would be cold.
I went out after. Still having the head phones half on one air. I looked around. I read the papers. I went to a map and took a photo of it in case I got lost or needed to find something. I had a number on my room. I went to a small kitchen with a table and kitchen stuff. They had made us in groups so we could make friend easier for those who have problems. I am not here for friends so I don’t really care to try. Dinner started to come close so I went to the kitchen. A cute boy was sitting there. I did noticed I had a problem to look away from his beautiful face. I noticed he looked sad. It was all over his face. I slowly sat down a lady walked in and got us the food. I ate I noticed he didn’t. He just moved his fork around in the food. When I was done I just looked at him move his fork around just looking at his food.
“You gonna eat that?” I asked looking at him. He looked up and down more sad.  
“don’t talk to him” a lady said not in a mean way. I looked down a little confused and sad. I laid down in bed I could see his beautiful face. I kept on thinking why is he so sad?. I started to think can I help? I got up and watched some TV to distract my self. I got out after an hour. I went around in the rooms to look for him. They had some rooms for people to stay in. I went around. I found the boy sitting on a table alone. A worker was standing a little away. Like she was watching him. I went over to him. I could feel her look at me. It was the same lady. I sat down close to him. The boy looked at me worried.
“it’s okay can I see what you drawing?” I asked softly. I could see his face change from the worried. He looked down at his drawing. I noticed his hand was shaking a little. I leaned a little forward looking at the drawing. He took his hand away to hide the shaking.
“It looks really good. I can draw too but haven’t done it in a while” I said softly.
“can I use a paper?” I asked softly. He nodded a little. I took one.
“can I barrow a pencil?” I asked softly. Having the same tone so he would get comfortable. He nodded. I took one and tried to draw some. He looked at me do it. I looked at him feeling his eyes on me before. We both looked at each other. His eyes are so beautiful. I know people say brown is boring but I don’t think it is. He looked down fast when realised he had been staring at me. I laughed a little. He started to shake more thinking I was laughing in a bad way about him. I couldn’t see it. He was starting to have a panic attack. It was building up.
“You are really cute” I said it just spat out of me. I put my hand on my mouth realising what just came out of my mouth
“Shit s-sorry” I said. I just spat it out without knowing If he even is gay. I am out to my parents they don’t mind and are curious about my dating life. I am lucky. He looked at me when I said he was cute. I looked away hiding my face. I was blushing really bad. It was so embarrassing. A little cute smile came on his face seeing I wasn’t against it. And I did have some feelings for him. I was so embarrassed and the lady being there too made it so much worse. I just wanted to check if he did like it or not. I looked at him. He had a little smile on his face. When he looked at me he looked down but not it the shy sad way just looking away from me. I swallowed and got my self together. I could see he wasn’t upset at all. It was still embarrassing that it just came out of me anyways of him liking guys or not. Still embarrassing.
He kept drawing. He didn’t talk tho. I looked some at him while he drew and down on his drawing. I was thinking if he doesn’t talk. Maybe he is mute. It will be hard to understand him but he is so cute and beautiful. Maybe I can help him. I kept thinking. I didn’t realise I was looking at him while I was thinking about him. He didnt see it. Because he was busy with the drawing. When he felt like wanting to see mine. He took his eyes of the drawing. He first looked towards my drawing and then up seeing I was just looking at him. He laughed a little seeing I hadn’t drawn at all just was staring at him. He tilted his head a little confused when I didn’t react. He laughed some more. He waved his hand in front of my eyes to see if I would respond. It took some seconds to I came back.
I blushed really bad when I released what happened. He started laughing. I stopped in my tracks just looking at him. His laughter was the cutest and beautiful I have ever heard. I just looked at him . He was smiling too. Omg.. I was dying inside. He laughed some more seeing I stopped again in my tracks. The lady left seeing he was okay and more then okay. I felt like laughing too hearing his laughter. It started and I broke laughing I tried to stop my self at first. He looked so happy. It was totally away from how he felt some minutes ago. We both laughed. We laughed for really long. I hadnt laughed so much in long just couldn’t stop because his laughter made me laugh. We started to slowly go down. I kept on smiling looking at his happy face. It felt good I could make him laugh and smile. And make him genuine happy.
“whats your name?” I asked softly. He looked down.
“Are mute? It’s okay just haven’t meet someone who don’t talk” I said caring not wanting him to feel like I would leave because of it. He nodded. It was a little a lie but not fully.
“can you write your name down?” I asked softly giving him paper. He wrote down Carlos.
“aw it fits you perfectly. Tell me if I am saying it right. Carlos?” I asked just wanting to know that I don’t say his name wrong. He nodded. He wrote down what’s yours?
“Tk its a shot version of my real name. Tk is what my family call me and people I want in my life” I said softly. He wrote I like it. I smiled softly.
“I am happy you do” I said softly. A lady walked in and told Carlos he needed to go to bed. I didn’t ask why he couldn’t be longer up.
“can I follow?” I asked softly getting up. Carlos nodded still shining of happiness. We went together to his room.
“mine is 12 I will remember yours. I can write it down or do you think you remember?” I asked softly. He smiled softly. He wrote down on his phone that he will remember. I smiled softly.
“good night sleep well” I said softly. He smiled softly. I left after. Still thinking about how cute he is. I went to my room and locked the door. I had some therapy and stuff tomorrow. I had actually not thought about drinking or smoking since I saw Carlos. Because he took my mind away. I was shocked that I didn’t think about it at all when I released. I did think of going to smoke when I went around to see if Carlos was in any of the rooms but it just went out. I was sitting watching the TV. Slowly fading of to sleep. I fell asleep laying on the sofa. The tv was playing. I woke up 2 hours later and turned it off. I stumbled sleepy to my bed. I face planted in to the bed. I fell asleep some seconds after that.
 
Carlos pov
 
I went to my room. I went to bed. I kept on thinking about the handsome boy. I was new to someone not having a problem with me or that I am gay. I don’t say it out but many people just see it. I hadnt laughed so much in forever. I can’t remember last time I laughed so much. It felt so good. He was so cute too. I couldn’t get him out of my mind. He is all over my mind. My thoughts where trying to tell me he didn’t like me and was just pretending to later hurt me.
I have extreme anxiety. I don’t talk because I am scared I will see the wrong thing. I have gotten hit when I have said the wrong thing at school by the bullys and some teacher yell at me. My parents don’t know what’s happening at school. They put me here so someone could help me. They don’t know I am gay. I don’t have the guts to tell them. They are religious and come from a culture where they abandon there kids because of what I am. I have tried to ignore it but I can’t. Its who I am. It hurt and its an burden. Because nobody ever liked me back. Its the first time someone seems to like me.
Tk is the first. I still have feelings that maybe he is pretending because how can this be real. When my parents yell at me I get to a state where I just look down and hold my breath scared to do something more wrong. It’s not there fault. The teachers who yell and me and have hit me made me like that. It’s also because of the bullys. They hurt me when I say stuff they don’t like. Or don’t do as they say. I stopped talking fully in school. I am to scared to. Nobody knows why I have the anxiety because I don’t have the guts to tell anyone. The night eventually passed and it was breakfast
 
Tk pov
 
I got up rubbing my eyes. I went and took a shower. I got out. I dried my hair and got ready. I checked the time and waited some to breakfast was. I went down. Carlos was sitting already there. I felt my self get happy to see him. I took a chair and took it towards him. Carlos looked up. He calmed down seeing it was just me. I sat down and food came. I ate. Carlos ate some but not much this time too. I looked at him move his fork around after I was done.
“Why don’t you eat the food?” I asked this time more concerned. He looked at me. He took up his shoulder showing he didn’t know. But he did a little but he couldn’t tell me because he is scared to talk.
“You should eat it. Its not healthy not to eat. You need food. You are thin too its no reason for you to worry about getting fatter” I said concerned. He looked at me. He was moved by my concern. He didn’t eat because he was scared someone would bully him if got more fat on him. He was scared to get bullied by almost everything. He ate some more because I wanted him to.
“I can buy pizza for dinner if you want?” I asked low. He nodded and smiled a little. When he was done. I got up and he looked at me confused when I just stood there.
“I wanna hang out” I said laughing a little of him not getting why I was standing there. He got up. I smiled softly to make sure he knew I wasn’t upset.
“You wanna see my room?” I asked softly. He nodded. We walked out. A lady told him to come back I in an hour for his check up. We walked to my room. We went in and I showed him around in the little apartment.
“This is my favourite band and I love music” I said softly taking my head phones. I put them on Carlos. He smiled. His smiles are really cute. I put on Harry style as I love his songs. I showed him some more stuff.
“You need to show me yours too” I said softly.
“I didn’t take with me my drawing stuff. I can ask my parents when they come on Saturday if they can take the stuff with them” I said softly. I offered Carlos a glass of water. He took it. We sat down and watched some TV. He still had my headphones on. I looked at him and took them off laughing a little. He smiled softly.
“did you like it?” I asked softly. He nodded. I took them on the table and leaned back in the sofa. Carlos looked at me and fiddled with his hands not sure what to do. We watched tv. I didn’t know if I should shoot and lean on him. I didnt know what he was comfortable with. I am 99% sure he is gay and he likes me too but still I am nervous to do something. I looked at his hands. He was fiddling with his hands.
“Carlos?” I asked. He looked at me. I got lost in his eyes more some minutes forgetting what I was about to say. I felt my self lean forward taking my lips against his. I wasnt thinking my body just did what I wanted. I moved my lips. I bit his lip and went away seeing he didn’t do anything. I looked at him for answers. He nervous leaned forward and kissed me back. More kissing now. I couldn’t not noticed he was shaking really bad when he did it. I didn’t want him to be scared so I leaned forward kissing more in to him making it passionate. I had kissed before but Carlos hadn’t. I wouldn’t think that by looking at him. Because I think he is hot. But he had never done it before.
(A little more then kissing smut but not nsfw)
His hand went down my shirt up at my rib cage while we kissed. I leaned forward taking him down the sofa. He took his other hand up my back under my shirt. I was loving it. To be his first time it was so impressive. Born talent to be honest. I moved my hip close to his. He had a sweater on. It wasn’t easy to get my hand under it so just stayed around his head. And neck. I had my arms around him helping me hold my self up over him. I couldn’t hold my self I trusted one time in to his hip. Carlos moaned. I felt my self smile. I let go. I looked at him. Carlos was breathing fast same was I.
“You can moan but not talk?” I asked softly teasing him a little but I kept it obvious that I didn’t mean it in a harsh way.
“I hope you are okay with this? Just hit my arm if you want me to stop don’t to hard if you are not mad. I want you to know you can tell me if you want me to stop” I said caring. He still hand his hands under my shirt moving them softly around. He just looked at my eyes. He loved how the kiss felt. He never felt that way. He was getting unpashont by me not kissing him more. He took his hand away and out and grabbed my shit pushing mown back to a kiss. I smiled in it. He took his arms around my neck holding me down. I moved my hip thrusting in to his. He moaned again. When he felt like I woudlnt stop he moved his hand back to under my shirt. We kept kissing. I trusted some times. Carlos wasn’t just laying there letting me have control he was taking control even if he was under kissing my pasionent if I moved a little out he tried to hold me down by holding me down my his arms that were around me. When I had got everything I was capable of. Like I didn’t have more energy. I just stopped and laid down on him. We were both breathing fast.
(end of nsfw)
He didn’t stop moving his hands on my back softly. I closed my eyes in enjoyment. We both calmed down eventually. He was massaging me. I was awake but half asleep. It was so calming.
“t-tk?” a voice said. My eyes went vide and I got up fast looking at him. I was happy for him. He blushed a little he thought I was asleep. He was kinda hoping it.
“omg you can talk?” I asked smiling softly. A smile came on his face seeming me so proud and happy for him.
“y-ye-eah” Carlos said a little shy. I went back down hugging him softly.
“I am so proud of you. I like you voice by the way” I said softly. Carlos blushed more. Closing my eyes again as he started to massaging me again.
“I l-like y-yours t-t-too” Carlos said softly. I could see he was stuttering.
“I am so proud of you coming so long. I have never had that issue. I can’t imagine how hard it is to not feel safe to speak” I said sad looking up at him. Out eyes meeting. He looked down.
“I w-was s-scared” Carlos said sad a little nervous but it was more down when he thought he would be when thinking about talking to me.
“It’s okay to be. I will never judge you” I said softly.
“I really like you” I said softly.
“I l-like y-you t-too” Carlos said softly. I smiled softly. He kept matchmaking me to I fell asleep. He kept on to he also fell asleep.
 
1 hours later
 
We both woke up brutally by someone nocking load on the door telling Carlos to come for check up. I groaned upset at them waking me up when I slept so peaceful I had almost never done. I got up. Carlos looked at me worried because I looked upset. I opened the door.
“Do you know how to nock normal??” I asked upset at the door. He didn’t answer. I went to Carlos I smiled softly to comfort him. He calmed down. I gave him my hand and helped him up. I leaned in to his ear.
“change to a t shirt when you come back. I wanna see your curves” I said softly. He blushed. I went away smiling seductively. I laughed eveily. Carlos blushed more. I kept smiling softly. I took his hand and went with him to the check up and left when he went in. Carlos didn’t talk to anyone else. He seemed to feel okay with me.
 
Some hours later
 
I had talked with my mom over the phone. She asked if I had meet someone like a friend or more. And of course I couldn’t not start talking about Carlos. She teased me for being so over heals.  I tried to convince me and her that I wasn’t obsessed but didn’t really work. I talked with her for some hours. And then dad called and I talked to him. I made sure I told them I hadn’t smoked and drinked. Because to be honest I was proud of my self and shocked. When I was done talking with dad. The therapy started and was for an hour. It was boring. I didn’t really have much to talk about.
When I was done I looked for Carlos. I want to spend time with him. I gave up and went to my room and face planted in the bed. I heard a nock. I sighed and groaned when I went up. I opened the door Carlos was standing there seeming a little concerned and nervous. He had heard me groan like I didn’t wanna go and open the door.
“hi” I said smiling softly happy to see him. He took a deep breath seeing I wasn’t upset.
“I looked around for you” I said softly taking his hand taking him in. I closed the door.
“What do you wanna do?” I asked softly.
“I d-dont k-know” Carlos said. I took his hand and took him the sofa. I turned and took him down to the sofa. He let me go on top of him. I leaned down on him. I hugged him softly. He hugged me back. He didn’t have a t shirt on. It made me disappointed that I need to work harder to just see some beautiful curves. But I didn’t ask thinking maybe he wasn’t comfortable. I didn’t wanna force him to do something he didn’t want to. He took his hands up my back under my shirt softly.
“Carlos?” I asked softly.
“Y-yeah?” Carlos answered.
“Why are you here? Like in the Rehab. I am here because I have drinking problems and smoking problems. I normally smoke all the time. But for some reason I didn’t feel the need yesterday and today” I said taking my hand in front of me. It made me sad i couldn’t touch his body. I rubbed my thumb anyways on his sweater.
“I have anxiety” Carlos said a little nervous.
 “Are you okay with going more in deapt?” I asked softly turning on my back. Looking up at him. A cute smile came on his face of seeing me. He sat up some and kept me on him. He hugged me softly his arms around me. His hands softly on my stomach and one going towards my chest. I was okay with it. It made me feel better to have him hold me.
“I have social anxiety. I..I am scared to talk to people. I hold back. I am scared someone will react bad if I say something wrong or do something wrong” Carlos said sad looking at me. I was looking at him the whole time.
“who made you feel this way? Do you get bullied?” I asked worried.
“y-yeah s-still d-do..they don’t leave me alone..I am there entertainment. They will probably be mad I left when I come back and do something to me” Carlos said sad.
“That’s not okay. I can tell them to stop. I can fight I don’t want them to hurt you” I said caring.
“it’s okay I don’t want you to get hurt. Thank you for caring. It means a lot” Carlos said softly.
“Do you have problems with you body?” I asked concerned and worried. I was looking at him I didn’t look away.
“I am scared someone will pick on me getting fatter if I eat to much. I don’t really have a problem with how I look” Carlos said.
“You shouldn’t you are stunning and hot” I said caring. Carlos smiled softly.
“You think that?” Carlos asked like he was still not sure I actually feel that way. I got up and went to his face.
(Warning A little lip thing and hip thing)
“of course I do. You are so fucking hot” I said softly leaning forward taking a bite of his lip. Sucking it as I went away from his lips. Carlos moaned. I sat on his hip. He moaned again. I smirked.
(It’s done:))
“You are adorable and cute too” I said softly.
“you are h-hot t-too” Carlos said softly.
“oh I just remembered we were gonna have pizza for dinner” I said softly getting up going to my phone. I ordered pizza. Carlos came over to me hugging me from behind. He put his head in my neck and shoulder. I leaned my head on the side of his.
“It will be here in some minutes” I said softly.
“I wanna know more about you” I said softly turning around.
“you can ask me stuff too if you want” I said softly.
“what does tk stand for?” Carlos asked softly. I am so happy he feels comfortable talking with me.
“Tyler Kennedy. Its my real name. Tk just easier but you can call me Tyler if you want” I said softly. 
“I will use it as another name I can call you” Carlos said softly.
“I need your number by the way. I was looking for you everywhere-“ I said but Carlos stopped me.
“You were looking for me?” he asked softly a cute smile on his face. I laughed a little and smile.
“yeah of course it would be easier if I have your number so I can call you and ask where you are“ I said softly.
“of course” Carlos said and gave me his number. I gave him mine.
“Do you wanna stay over?” I asked a little nervous to see if he wanted that. Carlos smiled
“I would love that” Carlos said softly. I smiled and took his hand and went to my bed and to my wardrobe.
“if you are gonna stay you need a t shirt. You said you don’t have body problems so you are gonna let me see your beautiful body” I said taking one of my shirts and gave him it. He seemed a little nervous. I turned around.
“You shouldn’t be Scared to be shirtless. I can see you have a beautiful body. I just wanna see more of it. I will never judge you” I said caring. He took on the t shirt. When he was done he put the sweater on my wardrobe. I turned and our eyes meet. I looked at his shirt. I took my hand under it and up his body. Carlos got some shivers from feeling me touch his body. It wasn’t in a bad way. I smiled softly. I took my other hand feeling his body. I could feel a thin body. Not dangerous thin just thin and some abs I could feel some. Carlos went closer to me. Taking his hands up under my shirt. I laughed a little.
“Carlos..” I said so in to him. He smiled softly.
“You know you can’t hide your body from me. I wanna see you. I am so in to you” I said caring. He smiled softly.
“I am too” Carlos said softly. He went away and took my hand. He held it softly. I went with him. We went out to get the pizza. He told one of the lady’s that he was sleeping over with me. We went to my room and I fixed the pizza. We ate and laughed talking about random stuff.
“How is your relationship with your parents?” I asked softly.
“not the best. Haven’t come out” Carlos said looking at me worried I would be upset about it.
“its okay but you should come out to them eventually” I said softly.
“I am scared to tell them. My school knows but they don’t. I am scared they will eventually find out” Carlos said sad. I went over to him. We were done eating. I sat on him looking in to his eyes. I took my hand softly on his cheeks.
“I can help you if you want” I said softly kissing his nose.
“t-thank you” Carlos said taking his arms around me.
“you wanna go to bed?” I asked softly
“you wanna sleep?” Carlos asked .
“no cuddling” I said softly.
“okay I would love that” Carlos said softly. I got up and helped him up.
“Do you wanna sleep in a t shirt or just boxers?” I asked softly.
“I will sleep in boxers its warm here” I said softly.
“I will do the same” Carlos said softly. I took off my pants. I took off my shirt. Carlos looked at my body. I smiled softly.
“Do you like what you see?” I asked softly.
 “yeah I love it” Carlos said softly.
“your turn sweety” I said softly. He did as I said. I looked at him while he did it. When he took off his shirt. I could see how beautiful he was under the shirt. I took his hand and took him to bed. I put the blanket over us. I went on top of him. He smiled softly. I sat on him.
(A little sexual stuff)
I could feel his dick.
“I hope you are okay with this” I said softly starting to move my self back and forth thrusting in to Carlos. I wanted the feeling. Carlos closed his eyes and took his head back. I looked at him while doing it.
“You are so hot it’s hard to keep my self together” I said softly. I kept thrusting to I fell exhausted. Carlos moaned some more times before I was done.
(It’s over:) )
I laid down with him. I put my head on his chest. I put my hand in front of me on his chest. I moved my thumb softly back and forth on his chest. Carlos put his left arm around me and took his left hand on my hand . I closed my eyes. I just listened to him breath feeling his chest rise and got down and rise again. It was calming I could hear his heart too. It was really relaxing.
“Tk? Are you sleeping wondered if you wanted to talk if you aren’t sleeping” Carlos said softly.
“sure come with it” I said softly rubbing my thumb softly on his chest.
“How are you with your parents?” Carlos asked softly.
“they know I like guys and I already told them about you. Its really nice that they still live me. I know I am lucky and not everyone gets that” I said softly and a little sad hoping the best for Carlos.
“I know its unfair everyone should be okay with it” Carlos said sad.
“yeah what do you wanna do in your life?” I asked softly.
“I am not totally sure I wanna help people. But when I can’t talk I don’t know” Carlos said sad.
“I am sure you will get better you talk to me and that’s a huge step I am sure you will be great in life” I said softly. Looking up at him.
“What do you wanna be?” I asked softly taking my hand on his holding it softly.
“a c-cop m-maybe” Carlos said nervous.
“that’s cool I think you would be great at it” I said softly.
“y-you don’t t-think I am to soft?” Carlos asked sad.
“I think it makes you a better one because you have a heart some cops don’t have that. You will do better choices” I said softly.
“t-thank y-you f-for b-being s-so k-kind t-to m-me” Carlos said tearing up a little from seeing I cared about him.
“Hey don’t cry” I said concerned getting up taking my hand softly on his cheek. I kissed his forehead softly. I put mine against his and looked in to his beautiful brown eyes.
“I will always be proud of you. Even if you can’t talk fully I don’t mind because it’s you I am here for not what you can become” I said softly kissing his forehead again. I wiped some of his tears and went back to hugging him softly. Carlos hugged me back. He wanted me closer so he turned on the side with me and took me closer so he could have his head on mine. We fell asleep a little after. Both feeling safe and loved.
 
Some days passed
 
Everyday was so much better with Carlos. I hadn’t drinked or smoked. My parents were proud of me and happy for me. They asked if I wanted to go back. I thought about it a lot. I didn’t wanna leave Carlos but I also wanted to be back in my house and with my family. I didn’t know what to choose. I was eating. Carlos was looking at me seeing I was thinking because I was looking at the food in a gone way like I wasn’t there totally.
“t-tk?” Carlos asked taking his hand on mine. He was nervous to talk knowing nobody had heard him do it. Just me. A lady who was standing away heard him talk shocked. I looked at Carlos.
“Are you okay?” Carlos asked worried.
“y-yeah just stuff on my mind. You done?” I asked changing the subject.
“y-yeah” Carlos said. I ate the rest and got up wanting to talk with Carlos about it but not in front of everyone. Carlos went after me. We went to his room. I went in to him when he closed the door. He hugged me softly.
“Are you really okay?” Carlos asked worried.
“My parents want me back because I am doing good. I wanna go but I also don’t want to. I want you but I also want my family. I don’t know what to do” I said sad staring to brake down because I didn’t know what to do. He took me up putting my legs up by his hip. I hugged him holding my self up while he was holding me.
“I want you to be happy. We can still talk over the phone and meet when we both can” Carlos said softly. He took me to bed and cuddled with me. I didn’t let go of him.
“You should go with your parents. You are okay you should get your life back. I will try my best to get out faster so I can be more with you” Carlos said kissing the top of my head.
“I really like you I don’t want to lose you” I said sad crying some because I had held it to my self and i wasn’t looking forward to leaving him.
“shhh its okay tk I won’t leave you. You are what I have. I won’t leave you” Carlos said softly kissing my head again. I just stayed quiet enjoying having him right now. I wasn’t looking forward for a distance relationship.
 
Later that day
 
My parents are coming. They met Carlos. Carlos was quiet. I had told them about his social problems so they wouldn’t say something that could hurt him. We held hands the whole time. When I was leaving I hugged him for long time. Iike really long I didn’t want him to be gone. I started to tear up when I left. My parents were worried about my well being but I said I would be okay. But I wasn’t sure I would. Carlos texted me. I texted with him to I fell asleep on the ride. He kept telling me he would see me. Because I said I was missing him so bad already. We drove for some hours. It was a long ride. That’s why I was worried we wouldn’t see each other so often.
When I came home Carlos told me to show my room. We face times and I showed him around. I felt better knowing he was trying to make me feel better. It did work some but still I missed him in an horrible way. We kept video chatting and texting through the days. I missed him a lot but I felt better.
I started school again. I Ignored the rude guys. A girl tried to become my friend. I let her because I was lonely. But I didn’t know it was all because she wanted to lay with me. I am gay but I had dated girls because I didn’t know who I was at that time. I thought she just wanted to be friends and knew I was gay so I let her be my friend. Some days passed an I was at school. She went after me and kissed me. Yeah I know I was totally shocked. I didn’t know how to react. I just froze. When I didn’t kiss back she left. I felt bad I didnt wanna hurt her. But of course I don’t feel what she does. I didn’t have the reaction to go after her. I stood there for a while. I went home a little after. I sat in my room thinking about tomorrow. I felt like I should tell her that I am gay. She was nice I don’t wanna hurt her.
Carlos called knowing I was done with school. I answered.
“Hei babe” Carlos said softly.
“h-hi” I said sounding down as I was.
“what’s wrong?” Carlos asked Concerned
a girl kissed me today. I think she likes me. I don’t think she knows I am gay. I don’t know what to do. I don’t wanna hurt her” I said sad.
“wow I don’t know it never happened to me. You are the first I have ever had a kiss with” Carlos said. I smiled.
“You are my best kiss” I said softly complementing him.
“I think I will talk to her tomorrow” I said laying down more in bed looking at Carlos on the phone.
“it will probably help her just remembered she has a crush on you. Pls tell her you are taken too. I don’t want her to try and make you bi” Carlos said concerned.
“It’s okay I will. I know I am taken. I have never got romantic feelings for a girl like what I have with you or my exses. I have dated girl but I can see now it was a friendship not romanticly” I said.
“You have many exses?” Carlos asked by hearing me say exses.
“yeah” I laughed a little embarrassed.
“Yeah I have many short ones and one longer. He found someone else. I was drinking and stuff because of him. He hurt me a lot. He put me through a roller-coaster before he broke up with me. I thought he wanted more and that’s why he was like that but he wanted less. He didn’t want me. He stopped loving me and just played some for a little while because he didn’t know how to tell me he found someone else. I was thinking of moving in with him. Like that’s a big step I have never gotten so long with someone” I said sad.
“wow sound horrible. I am glad you got out and found me” Carlos said laughing a little at the end.
“Yeah me too babe” I said softly smiling. 
“I was still not over him but when I saw you it was like all my problems went out of the window. My thoughts were filled with helping you instead of how I wasn’t good enough for my ex. I am so glad i found you. I fell for you when I first saw you. Your sadness made me sad and I wanted to help and seeing I could make you smile and laugh in such a beautiful way made me happy. When I first saw you smile and laughter I knew I was falling hard over heals” I said softly.
“I am glad I could help you. You helped me too. I hadn’t laugh so hard in so long and been so happy. I haven’t felt down since we got together. You make me happy” Carlos said softly.
“I am happy I can do that. It makes me feel better when other people feel better” I said softly. I was laying on my side looking at Carlos beautiful face. He smiled softly seeing me looking at him. We talked some more. I took him with me when I was eating so I could have company my parent were working. Carlos looked at me eat when I couldn’t speak. We talked for some more. We had a little break and then we talked again to I fell asleep. He ended the call when he was sure I was asleep.
 
Next day
 
I was talking with Carlos on the phone with my headset walking to school. I was smiling and laughing some talking to him. I came to school. The girl was standing away hearing me on the call.
“need to go” I said softly.
“Okay bye babe” Carlos said on the other line softly.
“bye babe” I said softly. I took off my head phones after and went to her fully.
“Hi” I said softly. She looked down.
“I am sorry I didn’t go after you. I was in shock. I a-am g-gay. I thought you just wanted to be my friend sorry didn’t mean to let you go like that. I wanna be your friend if you still want it?” I asked.
She nodded. “I found out I didn’t know. I am so sorry” she said sad close to crying.
“It’s okay I am taken too. My boyfriend wanted me to tell you so you knew. He thought I should talk to you too. I still want you as a friend” I said caring.
“i-i w-want t-that t-to” she said trying to get her self together. I went with her to class. The day passed as normal
 
Some days passed
 
Me and Carlos were spending time together. I went at him when I saw him. I hugged him tight so happy to see him. He hugged me back. We had a good time. I started to talk about what I wanted to do with my life. As I had thought about it a lot. Carlos tried to convince not to do it. I wanted to be a paramedic. It upset me he didn’t support me. I got offended and upset. We fought. I brought up that he wanted to be a cop and that didn’t make sense why I couldn’t be a paramedic. I told him I supported him anyways of what he wanted to do. I was really upset. I left because I didn’t wanna start saying stuff that could hurt him.
I stayed in the city but when Carlos didn’t try and get me back I left after 2 hours. I cried some on the way home. I was hurt that he didn’t support my wanting to be a paramedic. I was so sure he wouldn’t mind so I wasn’t even nervous to say it. I was happy that I had found something. It hurt even more that he didn’t come after me. To say sorry or just come to me. It hurt so much.
 
About a week later
 
Carlos pov
 
My world had just become worse and worse by the days after Tk left. I felt hopeless. I felt so down and depressed I had never or almost never felt that hard down. I think he broke up with me. It’s how I took it. I made him so upset and mad. I hurt him. I just don’t want him to go in to danger. I know I will have that job but I don’t wanna lose him. And I actually did by telling him I didn’t want him to do what he wanted. I got bullied too the whole week. I had went back to my school and home because I got so much better but my parents noticed I was barely eating and looked sad and down all the time.
I was alone in the house. I was in the bathroom. I had a blade I was crying. I was feeling so down. Those at school told me to repeatedly to kill my self. I was starting to want it. As Tk hadn’t texted me or talked to me at all. I put the blade against my skin. Some in me I didn’t wanna die. I just want Tk. He was a light that came in to my life.
I took my phone up and called Tk. The phone called. I was crying a lot. I wanted him to answer and say he still wanted me. My thoughts were telling me he didn’t want me. That I was wasting his time. He wouldn’t care because I am useless. I cried more. I tried to call one more time when it stopped. It called again. This time it answered almost at the end.
“What???” Tk answered upset. I took my arm in front of my mouth holding my breath trying to hide I was crying.
“Why are you calling??” Tk asked annoyed. I didn’t answer I cried more my thoughts were telling me he didn’t want me. It seemed true. He didn’t sound happy to hear from me.
“Carlos you can’t call me for no fucking reason. You said shit to me you had no right to. Why are you calling me? I am hanging up if you don’t answer” tk said annoyed but hit of caring and worryness coming through his voice. I cried more.
“Carlos why are you calling? Pls answer” Tk said worried and sad. That was the Tk I was in love with. Yeah I love him. A lot. I haven’t said it scared I am deeper in it than him.
“Carlos pls” Tk said sad and worried. I took away my arm. Tk heard me take some shaking breaths.
“take a deep breath iinnnnnn and ooouuuttt. Keep going like that. Breath innn..and out..” Tk said softly. I cried more seeing he still cared about me.
“shhh I am coming I am 2 hours away. I can stay on the phone if you want. Where are you?” tk asked softly. It was like he forgot about why he was mad and was just focused on making me feel better.
“a-at t-t-the b-bathr-ro-om” I said trying to stop crying.
“Okay why are you there?” Tk asked caring.
“I.. “ I said looking at the blade on the ground. I was thinking if I should tell the truth or not. I don’t wanna hurt him but holding it in from him hurts too.
“I.. I w-wan-nted t-to k-kill m-my s-se-elf” I said barely. Tk was quiet.
“you called because you want me to stop you?” Tk asked caring.
“y-yea-ah” I said wiping some tears. He sighed.
“I am so glad you did. Why did you say I couldn’t be a paramedic?” Tk asked softly.
“I don’t want you t-to g-get h-hurt” I said trying not to cry.
“I won’t get hurt you are more in danger being a cop. I wanna help people and doctor isn’t my thing so paramedic fits me best. I think it does at least” Tk said. I got up and went to my bed.
“I am really sorry. I want you to do what you want” I said laying down in bed.
“Are you gonna sleep? It’s okay you should get the rest you need” Tk said softly.
“Do you want me to sing for you?” tk asked softly.
“y-yeah i-i w-would l-like t-that” I said softly. He started to sing. I smiled softly hearing his beautiful voice. I started to fall asleep. I felt peacefully and felt better having him there. I fell asleep eventually Tk didn’t hang up. He stayed on the phone the wholetime.
 
A little under 2 hours later
 
Tk pov
 
I went to his house. I was nervous seeing his parents car in the drive through. I nocked on the door. I had with me his favourite candy because he was sad. I wanted him to feel better. I hid it because he wasn’t out yet. A man opened the door. I guessed it was his dad.
“h-hi is Carlos home?” I asked nervous. He raised an eyebrow seeing I was nervous and that he hadnt seen me before.
“Who are you?” He asked harsh.
“t-tk i-i a-am h-his f-fri-iend” I said nervous a lady came in to the view.
“You are scaring him Gabriel” she said going in to the view letting me in.
“You can’t let him in you dont know who he is” Carlos dad said.
“Carlos is in his room” Carlos mom said softly. I went to Carlos room she showed me where.
“t-thank y-you m-ma'am” I said polite. She smiled.
“You welcome” she said softly. I went in to Carlos room. I closed the door. He was sleeping peacefully. I went to him.
“babe?” I asked softly laying down beside him. He didn’t move. I hugged him from behind.
“mmm” Carlos said sleepy.
“Hi babe just keep sleeping” I said softly. I hugged him better kissing his neck softly and then had my face in the back of his shoulder. Carlos took his hands on mine.
“t-thank you for coming” Carlos said softly.
“Don’t need to thank me. I am so happy you called. I would never want you to hurt your self. I am so glad I could stop you from doing something that could kill you” I said sad but caring. Carlos turned going in to me. I hugged him softly. He hugged me tight but softly.
“i-i l-lov-ve y-yo-ou” Carlos said his voice braking sounding to be about to cry.
“I love you too” I said softly kissing the top of his head. Carlos took a shaking breath. He was so nervous to tell me. He kept hugging me tight. We kept hugging. He fell asleep. He didn’t let go even when he was asleep. I stayed awake for some enjoying having him with me again. I fell asleep feeling safe and loved.
 
We stayed together the whole day. His parents saw he lighted up after I came. Carlos said I was his friend. I was okay with it knowing he loves me. I got to meet his parents. They asked me stuff I told them where I meet him. I did say why because I know I had come from it. When we were done we went to his room and he showed me around and we cuddled more after that. After some I needed to leave. I said good bye and left.
 
We talked constantly on the phone for the days passing. I tried to tell him and convince him to come out to his parents but I knew It must be hard and I wanted to make sure he wouldn’t think I would leave if he didn’t leave. We chated for weeks. Totally in love.