She Reaches Out

Chapter 2

Blio POV
19th July

I'm really fucking hungry.

Ada's prattling on about some other way things were, back when normality existed (in theory), Kerra's pretending to be interested (maybe she is, but I doubt it) and I can't concentrate on anything, because, as I said;

I'm really fucking hungry.

I can tell I'm about on the verge of numbness, the point when you pass up on eating because it hurts so badly, like when you have pins and needles, but you don't notice, so it's fine. Then, all of a sudden, it hurts to walk and it'd take a miracle to bring the feeling back, and you don't want it to come back anyway, because even though you need to walk, it hurts that badly that you might choose to go without.

I'm really fucking hungry.

I get crabby when I haven't eaten, and right now, I'm about ready to rip Ada's head right off her shoulders, and maybe eat her. Yeah, maybe I should... keep my distance.

I can tell she's struggling at the moment too, so I wouldn't normally push her. We don't get on great, but I'm not that much of a bastard. I would keep on with the slightly tense banter, but right now I'm wound so tight, I'm ready to snap.

"Think we should stop here, B?"

My head whips up like broken elastic, and all the rage I've been pushing down to a pit in my stomach rushes up into my throat, ready to jump down someone else's-

And Kerra's glaring at me with one eyebrow raised, waiting for me to get my hunger under control. It takes a minute, but I shove it down, bit by bit, until it's just hovering in my stomach again, seething silently until I can find an outlet.

"Sure," I grind out, with as much civility as I can muster. Which is not a lot.

"Great!" Ada shrills, too peppy for me to function. "I'll start the fire!"

I huff, my only concession to my bad mood, and slump to the ground where I stand, shuck my backpack, and curl my hands around my knees. Ada isn't the only one who's struggling. She's the only one that'll receive comfort, though.

She and Kerra have this weird almost-relationship going on. If the noises coming from the woods every week or so are any indication, they have a physical relationship. But, from what I gather as an outsider, some of their dependence on each other is also emotional. They're very touchy with each other, and I know when Ada has nightmares, Kerra cuddles her and stuff like that. Not that I want that or anything. Not one bit. At all.

I'm a straight guy, but Kerra's 100% a lesbian, and Ada doesn't like me anyway, so there isn't any hope there. One day, I guess. A guy can dream.

I breathe in through my nose and out through my mouth in an effort to stave off the urge to put a bullet in my head. I can't even pinpoint a reason. Maybe it's the hanger, or the loneliness. Maybe I'm tired, and I just want the pain to end. Maybe I just can't face the thought of waking up tomorrow, and doing exactly the same thing again. Maybe I'm just fucking done. With all of it.

This is why Kerra holds onto the gun. Because she has restraint. God, she's so strong. I know she's had her bad days in the past, but she's always fought through it with healthy coping mechanisms, and dependence on us. And our dependence on her! She's always been the leader of our little band of misfits, and no one has ever fought her on that. Just as she has always used us as a reason to stay alive (there's no way we would survive without her) we've depended on her to get us out of our bad spots in the past, with kind words, or a reality check (we've really needed that one sometimes) or even a slap to the face. She gives us what we need, and we love her for it. It's like a little family we have going on here, the three of us. Which is why this douchebag is so unwelcome.