𝐖𝐀𝐓𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐑- 𝐎𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐭𝐬

𝐋𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐓𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠

Takes place between chapters Thirty and Thirty-One of Ephialtes

TRIGGER WARNING: Intense suicidal thoughts
Please be careful.

𝐓𝐎𝐍𝐘 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐊 𝐇𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐖𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐑.

He had since Afghanistan, when he'd been waterboarded within inches of his life for months.

He'd never been able to shake the way the water had gone into his nose, down his throat, suffocating him. It blinded him, obscured his vision. It had muffled the sound of his sobbing seven-year-old daughter's voice as he choked out her name before being shoved back under.

The first time he'd tried to wash his hair in the shower after being brought back home, he' d had a panic attack so intense that he'd passed out. He'd woken up to Steve cradling him in his arms, eyes wide with alarm, his clothes and hair soaked from jumping right in the shower to grab him.

Water had stolen things from him. Days with his daughter at the beach, romantic baths with his husband, swimming laps around the pool he'd had installed in Stark Tower, boating, cruises-

And now.

Now it had stolen his family.

Tony couldn't describe what he was feeling. There weren't words for it- it was by far, without a doubt, the most horrifying moment of his life.

He'd promised.

He'd promised to catch his baby.

And then he'd watched her fall, that god-awful bruise mottling her side, and he hadn't been able to save her from that very thing he hated so much.

And because that, of course, that hadn't been enough- he had to lose Steve too. He'd watched his husband dive after their child, catch her in midair, and cradle her to him as they both went tumbling to their deaths.

They'd hit the water with so much force that he could see the white foam of the splash from up here, their bodies breaking apart the second they made contact.

And Tony Stark screamed louder than he'd ever screamed in his life.

"NO !" The noise was so jarring that the assassins on either side of him flinched, the grieving man wailing as he collapsed, his hands tearing apart his hair.  "NO! God, please, no!"

Bucky Barnes stared at the water below them with parted lips, eyes dazed.

Becca felt tears burn her eyes, utterly exhausted.

"I c-can't, I can't-" Tony sobbed, his arms cradling his head as he lowered it to the ground, unable to process his grief. "I can't- my babies, please, just- oh, GOD!"

Tony's guttural sobs made Bucky flinch, and Becca watched as her brother's eyes cleared.

He remembered.