Esra & Ozan: our memories

When you stayed

to know...

Esra's age: 14 years old
Ozan's age: 14 years old

January 2007

Nine and a half years before their marriage; twelve years before their divorce; fourteen years before they meet again at that noisy police station...

and

Fights and screams and challenging you and accepting your challenge and pride and planning revenge and seeing your mom again and watch you work and win and traps and angst and saying I'm sorry and watching you from the corner of the office and wearing that dress and you, taking my breath away and crying and walking alone at midnight thinking of you and memories and parties and getting trapped in a closet and taking you to bed and jealousy cause someone else is holding your hand and dissapearing and looking for you and wishing this could have been different and you wearing a wedding dress again and sleeping with you at the hospital and raising your zipper and madalinas and following you in a taxi and confrontation and long talks and thinking about when we were children and realizing I've always love you and running away and and chasing after you and fear and longing and saying the truth and touching your face again and holding your hands in mine and kissing in the rain and loving you and loving you too...

and then...

Fights and love and angst and crying and making mistakes and screams and memories and lost and fear and hate and weakness and enemies and lies and bad decisions and alcohol and revenge and longing and kissing strangers and breaking promises but making new ones and bad news and good news and walking with you in the street at late night and holding your hand and crying at our old spot and losing everything and trying and chasing after you and risking it all and thinking this time it's possible and hoping this time I'll be able to say goodbye and kissing your mouth and touching your body and making you feel my love and thinking this time you really want me and hoping this time you're not leaving and praying that this time we'll make it through...
because that night on the island you loved me
and you loved me too...

just to part ways once more.

Nineteen years before they meet again on that street in Istanbul, when Esra said "selam" and Ozan walked away.

-

❝Yes, all of this is for you. I built this company for you, I was hoping one day you'd come and you'll see me. I have not forgotten you. Okay? I was madly in love with you but you left, you left me. I spend months after looking for a reason. I've always blamed you, Esra. I couldn't forgive you but it doesn't matter anymore. I does not matter. Everything's in the past. The only thing I want is you. And I know you want me too. Don't deny it, I know you want me too. You look at me the way I look at you. You also fell in love. This time, don't go. Don't go❞ (Ep. 9)

❝Ozan, I know you will be angry with me. How quickly she gave up, you will say. But that's right. I'm leaving. I couldn't affor to say goodbye. I couldn't say this to your face, you would smile like that again and I would believe it... I would have not go away, I would have been afraid and I would have given up. One of us had to do this. Forgive me. I forgave you. This is our story and that's how it was supposed to end. Don't worry, not every story has a happy ending. Goodbye my childhood friend, goodbye my love❞ (Ep. 23)

-

The winter was being worse than last year. The streets were slippery because of the snow. Esra, who has always had a problem with the cold weather, was shaking from head to toe. With her hands inside Eko's coat, she was walking home from school. A lot of their classmates were walking the same street, not only because they all lived at the mahalle but because it was one the few streets walkable. She couldn't understand how Eko was okay with nothing but his uniform sweater when she was feeling about to get freeze.