Fences- [Ranboo Angst]

★Chapter One★

[1672 words]

The definitive tone of an ended call was music to Ranboo's ears, enough for them to let out a sigh of relief while the saccharine lies of sincere-ish goodbyes still hung on their lips.

In fact, the earnestness with which the goodbyes—no, the entire conversations—were given was almost the worst part. Sometimes hours a day were spent feigning a chirpy persona, and it was tiring! So at the end of it all, there wasn't much else to do but ride it out, then crash.

And usually, he burned.

The squawking of a far off seagull was enough to snap Ranboo back to consciousness, just enough to groan and shove their fingers in their ears.

He leaned back over to the monitor, hovering over the name for a second. Wilbur Soot. Their only real friend, and five years older. God, Ranboo was 16, wasn't he meant to have friends their own age?

16 years old, and their only friend is the man he met on hypixel.

He stretched back in his chair, cracking his back, and letting out another loud sigh. They closed discord and shut off their PC before sliding into bed, staring at the ceiling.

He was sick of this shit.

He turned onto his side and pulled his duvet over his head, ignoring how his raw skin rubbed on the fabric. He could hear shouting and whatever row was going on downstairs, he didn't want to hear it.

Ranboo screwed his eyes shut, exposing the heavy bags underneath them. faint nail marks could also be seen, embedded roughly on his cheeks and running down their face. He dabbed at his eyes, lifting a growing tear from the corner.

He leaned back in his chair, a split second glance also showing a gaping hole in the wall, just behind the door. Another, harsher, sigh forced itself out. Could he even remember a time before this?

The answer was obvious, and perhaps more painful to the boy than a simple no. But it was an answer that he couldn't allow to get to him, a hard pill that just had to be swallowed. Yet sometimes it felt like maybe this prescription of avoidance just wasn't working out.

Anything can be ignored with enough willpower, and Ranboo knew that more that anyone. But when even the strongest will failed, even he couldn't put off what he really wanted.

They wanted to wake up and feel loved.

Yes, yes, he was perfectly aware of how pathetic that sounded, but it was true. No amount of sugarcoating or concealment could ever change that.

It was almost funny really. As a kid, he was always in awe of his friends lives. He would insist that it was something about their (relatively) big houses, their flashy consoles, and their enviable Pokémon collections, but it was never the truth. In reality - and although those were all things he was jealous of - the real pull was how perfect their lives felt.

Even as a little child, Ranboo was painfully aware that they were different; and it was more than just the autism. It was as if everything about everybody else's lives was so saccharine sweet, and only his was so rotten to the core.

But alas, for all the subconscious difference that he felt, Ranboo could never admit it. Although he knew that none of the other kids were banned from having people round, saw that none of the other kids came to school with bruised ribs, something in him just couldn't accept that it was anything out of the ordinary.