It is the 22nd of October, and I still haven't been asked out. Now I know what your thinking, Carter, doesn't the guy usually do the asking? Or, if you want to go with someone, just ask them! Trust me, I've heard it all before. But the thing is, I'm not exactly the kind of guy who can do that kind of stuff. I'm like that one kid in class who's the fricken weed in an otherwise beautiful garden. With my bad looks alone, it brings the class average from a perfect 10 to a negative 7.5. Now some think I'm being too hard on myself, but I consider myself a very fair evaluator of looks. And I, I am definitely a negative 30. But enough about my looks.
The thing is, I don't really have anyone I like, but I was really hoping a girl would ask me to go so I wouldn't look like a fool standing by myself. Since no one has asked me though, I may have to result to other measures.
"So, who are you going to homecoming with?" Abby asked as she sat down in the seat next to me.
"Ha, real funny Abs." I said as I pulled out my workbook for English.
"What's so funny about that? I swear Carter, you really don't have enough confidence in yourself."
"Whatever. That doesn't change the fact that I don't have a date."
"You know, there's always Xavier~"
"Oh shut it. I'm not gay, you know that."
Abby smiled. "Do I? I mean, I sense those vibes coming from you." She nudged me with a wink. "You can deny it all you want, but my ships are never wrong."
"Oh whatever." I sighed. I didn't feel like continuing to argue about something we've talked about for many years now. But I was getting a bit desperate. If I couldn't go to homecoming with a girl, then going with my best friend was definitely an alternative option.
"Xavier, you want to go to homecoming with me?" Xavier had just walked into the classroom and I let the question slip unconsciously. Fuck. I know I'm going to regret this. I thought. I could see my friend Abby's eyes light up as I asked. I knew it. She thinks this is her confirmation. I looked around. Everyone in the class began whispering. "I'm not gay!" I called out to make sure no one got the wrong idea. Everyone stopped whispering and went back to what they were doing.
"So you really couldn't find a date?" Xavier asked, breaking out into laughter as he sat in the seat behind me. Abby, him, and I have been a trio since the second grade, and Xavier and I had been friends since we were two.
"You know that no girls are into me dude. Of course I didn't." I answered lazily. he stood up and put his arm over my shoulder.
"Oh Carter, you really are naïve." He hummed. "I swear, if you make yourself more approachable and less, well, pessimistic, then girls would be swarming around you! I know at least ten girls who like you but were too scared to ask because of your attitude. Effort man!" Xavier exclaimed as he rubbed my head.
"Ouch! You know I hate when you do that! Besides, I don't need you to lie to me, I know myself. Why are you in our class anyway?" I asked.
He pretended to be appalled. "Do I need a reason to visit my favorite pals?" He asked theatrically. "I came here to see you my dear."
Abby squealed and I just rolled my eyes.
"Oh, quit it with the unnecessary acting. So will you go to homecoming with me or not?"
Xavier pretended to blush. "Oh my. Out of all the people, Carter chose me to open up his cold heart to? I feel so honored. I would love to go to homecoming with you, my little teddy bear." Flirtatiously, Xavier winked at me.
Sighing, I decided to play along with his little game. I continued, "Oh yes, Xavier. After all these years of friendship, I realized that only you make my heart flutter. You know that I wouldn't choose to go with anyone but you." I gave him a wink back and even I couldn't help laughing. We both were. I swear, he can be such a dork sometimes, starting such weird conversations. I was laughing so hard, I had to bend over from the soreness in my stomach.
